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Sunday Stealing: The Screaming Masses Meme

26 Dec

Okay, so it is not Sunday. But here’s the meme from the 21st. Visit Sunday Stealing to get a copy for your blog and sign the Mr. Linky:

1. What is a nickname a former (or present) lover gave you? Gatita (means little kitty, because of my hazel eyes and my love of stretching/cuddling), also Margarita

2. How do you style your hair? If you just would say “cut” what style is it? It’s a shoulder-length layered cut. I am lazy. Usually I blow dry and flat iron it every day but my preference would be air dry with the windows rolled down as I drive.

3. What’s your least favorite Christmas song? Jingle Bells

4. How many colors are you wearing now? Three

5. Are you an introvert or extrovert? Extrovert

6. What was the last book you read? Manslations: Decoding the Secret Language of Men by Jeff Mac

7. What’s one piece of fiction that changed your life? I cannot pick one. Blubber by Judy Blume (okay, anything by Judy Blume) which made me feel understood; Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son’s First Year by Anne Lamott, which I read several years before I had Pumpkinhead. The writing really grabbed me and made me say WOW! I adore Anne Lamott.

8. If you are attracted to someone who is already in a relationship (or married), what might do you do? I’d like to say that I would resist the attraction. Having been on the cheated on side of that stick, I’m not sure I could live with myself. I also think that someone who is willing to give up their marriage or relationship up for me would probably do the same to me and I would deserve it. Karma’s a bitch.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently? Ha! Do you have a few hours?

10. What’s your favorite dessert? Anything that mixes chocolate and fruit

11. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? About an hour mostly because I have to do a lot with Pumpkinhead in between flying around doing my stuff.

12. Name one website that you visit daily. Why do you read it? NY Times, to keep up with the latest news and to read the editorials. I like the way the site is designed as well – very user-friendly.

13. What was your last job before either your are at home or at another job?? I don’t understand this question. But I have been working at least one job, if not two, since I was 16. My last job was as a legal secretary at a large law firm. My first job was as a behavioral therapist for an autistic child (met with him four days a week to do his behavioral therapy as taught by his mother and psychiatrist).

14. Do you like to clean? No way.

15. What was the last song to get stuck in your head? I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

16. What’s the last movie you saw? Yes Man
starring Jim Carrey. Soooo funny!!

17. Pirates or Ninjas? Pirates are hot but Ninjas seem much less dirty. Hard choice!

18. What is your least favorite thing to do that you have to do everyday? Get up

19. Best time of your life? Anytime I am playing with my son. I don’t know that I’ve reached the best period in my life yet. I turn 30 on Sunday so maybe it’s coming?

20. What are you most looking forward to in the coming year? I’d like to think I will get a handle on life, figure out what I want, what I’m doing, where I’m going, etc., but I just do not know. So I’m just looking forward to a year of nothing else going horribly wrong. Or at least hoping desperately for that kind of year. There are a lot of work-related initiatives I am super excited about and hopeful that they will turn out as well as I want them to since they are kind of on my shoulders. That would be a “look forward” item.

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Posted in Blogging, Politics

Immigration Reform and Obama Cabinet Picks

26 Dec

The New York Times has an editorial today commenting on the fact that Obama’s cabinet picks for homeland security, labor, and commerce seem aligned to tackle the immigration issue. I hadn’t looked at the group together, but they are all well-versed in the practical issues of border states and the complicated tangle between the need for workers and the lack of legal entry options for them. The author makes the following important points:

The confluence of immigrants and labor is exactly what this country — particularly, and disastrously, the Bush administration — has not been able to figure out.

In simplest terms, what Ms. Solis and Mr. Obama seem to know in their gut is this: If you uphold workers’ rights, even for those here illegally, you uphold them for all working Americans. If you ignore and undercut the rights of illegal immigrants, you encourage the exploitation that erodes working conditions and job security everywhere. In a time of economic darkness, the stability and dignity of the work force are especially vital.

I went to the mall this morning to pick up a few items for next year that my mother wanted, such as wrapping paper and gift bags. The mall was very lightly filled… I think that the anti-immigrant sentiment is set to only get worse as jobs get scarcer and it will be interesting to see how Obama proposes to fix this. Just as important as finding a legal and humane way to deal with the people already here is finding a way to incentivize companies to keep jobs in this country and not seek out cheaper labor in other countries where the working conditions are substandard and the pay insulting. The question will be whether the country is willing to face the fact that most other countries pay significantly more for goods and that, if we want to “keep jobs in America”, we have to be willing to pay the higher prices that come with that (and pay our low wage earners more to keep them here – see editorial on teacher wages). We’re in for an interesting few years.

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Posted in Politics

Money, politics and religion

26 Dec

One of my longtime blog readers sent me an e-mail this week asking how I could afford to make charitable donations if money was really tight for me as a single mom. Well, I thought I would just e-mail her back directly. But then I thought, nah, if she is thinking this, so are others. So here’s the deal:

In November, I got hit with massive expenses between the law school demanding $2,500 repayment for summer classes, the deductibles for my car being broken into, the car payments I was making for Chapin, the need to replace my purse, makeup and other items stolen, etc. When I wrote on my blog “I’m financially fucked”, I was whining about my immediate situation. Fortunately, as I knew He would, God showed me a way out of each of those situations and I was able to make all of the payments through creative money movement and other blessings that came my way. In addition, I continue to pay $140/week for cognitive behavioral therapy for Pumpkinhead, plus $40/month for his medication, each unexpected expenses that I had not budgeted for (and we won’t even talk about my stupid meds!). I would say that no matter how much money a person makes or does not make, unexpected budget hits hurt, correct?

As for the charitable donations, I recently got paid for some contract legal document work I did this summer. It was a sizeable amount that helped with Christmas and some upcoming tax payments and homeowners association dues I must face. But I have a policy that whenever I get a large sum of unexpected money, I give some away. Sometimes that means helping a friend fulfill a dream that they could not otherwise afford; sometimes it means buying my brother’s college textbooks in the hopes that one day he would actually graduate and get a life; sometimes it means a little cash sent to my sister-in-laws in Guatemala so they can travel by bus to the city and buy some pretty shoes to counterbalance the hard life they live with no running water or electricity. Usually it also means giving to charity or two or to a local church. I hope not to grow out of this as I get older or more cynical but I believe in karma and that you get back what you put out there. I like to help people, always have. Whether it’s a lead on a job opening, a tip about a life-changing book, an invitation to join my Divorce Care group, etc., I believe that compassion is one of the gifts God gave me and it is something I like to show to others. Whether I can actually afford to do so in reality is another story. But the Lord provides. I don’t live life for tomorrow, but for today. I might (okay probably will) regret not putting that money into some sort of savings account in case of emergencies like that I faced in November, but I know that what I did feels 10,000 times better than hoarding the money for myself.

One of the things I really like about Barack Obama is his idea of attaching charitable work to a variety of financial gains. For example, students will be able to finance their educations but in return must dedicate time to charitable service. I think mandating that is an excellent idea that serves not only the student but also the nonprofits (assuming they start to actually put plans in place to properly utilize interns, which I have heard can be a challenge). I also feel some guilt about not regularly attending church (this is where the religion part comes in) and not tithing so my charitable giving throughout the year, whether as planned donations to United Way, one-offs to Dress for Success or fundraisers throughout the year, or end-of-year charitable donations, makes me feel like I’m doing what I am supposed to do.

So there’s my answer. Not sure if that is what you are looking for. Yes, money is tight many months. Fortunately sometimes I get little surprises that make things better. Other times the surprises suck and I’m living on credit. I think many people live this way. It may not be smart but it’s my life. Now, readers, go forth and buy all your Amazon products through my sidebar, get your sensual side taken care of through the Babeland links, or clink on any of the other ads to send a few (really, just a few) dollars my way and I will be sure to send the karma back your way. I’m not a hypocrite, no matter what the questioner who asked me all of this may think. I always click on someone’s affiliate banners before I shop (like Melting Mama’s ads for all my vitamins and protein!) because I feel like someone should be getting that percentage, so why not someone whose blog I read? I bought my Christmas cards through Trannyhead’s VistaPrint sidebar ad (go, buy! The cards turned out great, as did the address labels and playdate calling cards I ordered, and you can’t beat the prices.)

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Posted in Politics

Charitable Results

24 Dec

Thanks to all of you who participated in my week of charitable giving. A little goes a long way and I may not have a lot to give but you all really helped with your comments, each of which earned the organization an additional 25 cents on top of my $25 donation. Please consider giving to some of these wonderful small non-profit organizations in 2009 (or even in 2008). Every penny counts and even small donations like mine add up. Here are the final totals:

Day One – Houston Interfaith Ministries – Refugee Services: $27.25

Day Two – Born2Fly: Because of the strong showing of support for this very worthwhile organization, I am choosing to max my contribution to $40 and would encourage my readers to pitch in through their web site or using the Chip In widget in my sidebar. Help put an end to child sex trafficking.

Day Three – First Book: $27.50

Day Four – Foundation for the National Institutes of Health: $26.50

Day Five – The Winner, by one vote, is Donors Choose: $27.50

Thanks to all of you for participating. Please consider your own donation to these great charities and perhaps doing a similar charity roundup on your blog next year. I will definitely keep all of your great suggestions in mind for my giving throughout 2009. Tomorrow I am taking Pumpkinhead to work with me and we are going to pick up some canned goods and other items for a woman who is doing some mission work on a reservation over the holidays. I’m going to have him help me deliver those and then I’m going to write out these checks/donate online and have him help me, explaining what each organization does and why it is so important to support them with our money, time and resources.

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Posted in Politics, Single Parents

Last-minute!

22 Dec

Did you know that the day after tomorrow is Christmas Eve? CRAP! I have to work all day, then have Christmas with my family, then have midnight services at church, then have to play Santa Claus and then get up at the ass crack of dawn on Friday. YAWN! And I have to come up with fond memories about each of my great aunts, all of whom I have spent very little time with in my life (unlike the rest of the extended family, none of whom have ever left a 50-mile radius). So I guess that means wrapping all of this crap tonight. I am tired. And my cousins, all of them at least 8 years younger than me, are PISSING ME OFF because no one got their shit together on gift exchange until the day before we had to do it. Of course, I could have said something sooner… But whatever. They are all getting one of these because I can print them on card stock from the comfort of my own home:

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Posted in Blogging, Mommy stuff, Politics, Single Parents

For Butterflyfish…and other random thoughts

17 Dec

Hey, Butterflyfish, look what I got!

Those of you who know me are laughing right now because this is soooo me (except I worry out loud a lot, too).

Random thoughts:
1) Comment on my posts this week, people! I am trying to be charitable and my many, many readers coming, reading, and NOT commenting is not helping these poor people. Seriously, comment. And give me some ideas for charities to feature on Friday’s “vote for a charity” feature. And for those of you who love to comment, don’t forget that this was Pseudostoops’ idea and you should go check out the awesome charities she has featured. Go, tell your friends, Tweet at people, post it on your blog, but get people to come comment on any day of my posts or Pseudostoops’. Lots of charities hurting out there right now so get to it!

2) Sleeping on the couch at the office during my litigation days in shifts with other people seemed fun. Crashing on the hard floor at my office after a long night working on my paper was sooooo not fun. Everything hurts, I’m exhausted, and I cannot stop!

3) Had a weird conversation with my masseuse on Monday (stop reading, Blue Eyes, or at least go get a pillow to hit if this bugs you). So he finishes my feet and then walks up to the head of the table and says, “Um.. uh… did you want a breast massage? Because, um, your consent form says you want one and, well, I asked one of the other massage therapists for some tips on how they do that and, um, well, uh, you seem pretty thorough.” What I wanted to do was tease the poor, awkward guy and say, “Is that your way of asking if I want a happy ending?” But what I said instead was, “Sure. I don’t remember what I put on my form because I have been coming for three years but the daytime masseuse does those all the time and it’s very relaxing so, sure, go ahead.” So he did and it was a little weird but mostly good because 1) a breast massage doesn’t actually involve much of the breast or the nipples, people, and 2) you hold a LOT of tension in the lymphatic area between your breasts and in on the sides by your armpits.

Anyway, I just thought it was funny that it took him about eight weekly sessions to ask. I found an article that explains what they do. In many states it is illegal for massage therapists to touch the breast itself more than just around the base, which is pretty much what both female and this male therapist did (all at the same clinic). Unlike some of my friends (yep, calling you out, girl!), I have never found a massage to be the least bit sexual (and, dude, this guy gets right up in my hip joints and inner thighs). I am usually way too stressed and like firm, painful pressure way too much to find it anything but super-relaxing. My massage clinic serves ballet dancers and lots of sports medicine referrals so they are very comfortable with the body and with getting right where you are hurting. I love, love, love this weekly form of stress relief and will be so bummed when my Mom decides I have destressed enough for her to stop paying for me to go.

4) I made some new affirmation t-shirts. They are mirror-image shirts with positive sayings, such as “The more grateful I am, the more reasons I find to be grateful.” You can check all of the shirts out here and maybe ONE OF YOU will buy one. I have sold two. Both to myself. Boo… As you can see from above, I support other bloggers. Support me! (Well, after Christmas. Right now go support one of the charities I’m focusing on this week. I’d be grateful.) Check out my full range of law student, MILP, WLS, tea lover, child with parent in law school, lawyer, affirmational, single parent, child of a single parent, etc., t-shirts today.

Back to work on my paper. Which my beautiful, wonderful, sweet, most excellent teacher just e-mailed to say we can e-mail to her by 3 p.m. on Friday instead of driving it to school. Yippee!!!

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Posted in Blogging, Divorce, Health, Law School, MILS, Politics, Single Parents

Help me do some good – day three!

17 Dec

On Monday I told you about this week’s charitable mission to give a little bit of money away each day to a nonprofit that could really use the help. A little goes a long way and I may not have a lot to give but you all can help. Comment on this post with your ideas for other charities to support so that other readers can get ideas. The top five suggestions will go up in a poll Friday for you all to pick who the last $25 goes to. Plus every comment to each day’s post earns the organization another 25 cents in donation (up to a max of $40 for each day’s post – can’t afford more than that guys). And please feel free to go back and comment on posts from past days (I really need more recommendations for Friday’s five picks).

Now here is today’s selection, which I have chosen in honor of my late Nana, an amazing woman who was a dedicated reading teacher and literacy champion in New Zealand her whole life: First Book

First Book is a nonprofit organization with a single mission: to give children from low-income families the opportunity to read and own their first new books. We provide an ongoing supply of new books to children participating in community-based mentoring, tutoring, and family literacy programs.

First Book was founded in 1992. The First Book model was developed to leverage the work of local heroes who reach children through existing literacy programs in a variety of settings, such as Head Start centers, libraries, soup kitchens, churches, housing projects, and afterschool initiatives. Working through this vast network of organizations, First Book plays a critical role in transforming the quality of preschool and after-school programs nationwide.

First Book’s model is national in scope and local in impact. In our first year, First Book distributed approximately 12,000 books in three communities. Since that time, First Book has distributed more than 50 million books to children in over 3,000 communities around the country.

The awesome news is that since I will make the donation before December 31 (and if you would care to donate as well), First Book’s partner, Random House, will match every donation, book-for-book, up to a million books.

To read more about First Book’s costs and expenses or to research any potential charity, visit Charity Navigator, a non-profit that reports on charitable organizations so you can make sure that you drive your donations to the organizations that will best utilize those funds.

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Posted in Blogging, Politics

Searches

15 Dec

So I was looking over the last 30 days of how people found my blog and found a few interesting ones:

The number of variations of my blog moniker are mind-boggling. In case it isn’t clear, the name is Part-time Law Mom. I.e., I’m a part-time mom, part-time law student because God knows I am giving nothing 100%. The “correct” abbreviation is PT-LawMom (because the PT modifies both Law and Mom).

To the person looking for “Vicious Secretaries in Pantyhose”, I keep the pics from my long-ago Secretary days under lock and key, buddy. But you could probably find some of that stuff at Babeland and if you click through to them and buy something, I’ll have enough of a Christmas tip to buy some lacy thigh-highs of my own. (Disclaimer: of course I am joking. No legal secretary worth her salt will so much as wink at her boss in that way. Doesn’t mean you can’t be a “naughty secretary” at home, though…)

“Tips for Legal Secretary Blacklining” — Not sure what kind of help you need with that. There are lots of programs out there. My preference was always to type the doc clean and do a comparison afterwards or just do a merge if the other side wanted to accept/reject changes. I hate Track Changes!!! For awesome Word/tech tips, see The Connected Lawyer.

“Single parent and its effect on the Jamaican society” — single parents rock. Go here for more proof!

“Mom _____ _____ her son” — you sick bastard!!! You need help.

“Basics of Being a Good Legal Secretary” — Go to NALS.org. Sign up for the ALS and PLS exams. Only work for lawyers that value your opinion and your brain. Request feedback and then put the constructive criticism to good use by doing it better next time. When all else fails, move on, embrace the fat raise that comes from the move and love the fact that good legal secretaries get paid very, very well to take that bullshit (more than most non-BigLaw first-year lawyers in many cases).

“What are qualities that make a good legal secretary” — See above. And I would say attention to detail, ability to take the initiative COMBINED WITH the ability to do what is asked of you (some attorneys HATE initiative and you have to be willing to suck it up and do it their way even when you know it is wrong or stupid), strong technical skills (nothing like getting a 50-page brief at 11:30 p.m. that is due for e-filing at 11:59 p.m. only to find a million evil formatting gremlins throughout the document), fast typing speed (most places require 65wpm minimum), discretion, pleasant personality and strong organizational skills (don’t use my messy ass desk and disdain for filing as your example).

And, of course, I get a lot of variations of searches on mothers, MILFs and porn. Here’s what I would suggest. Go to Babeland, buy/download some movies and leave my blog alone. I won’t be posting Mommy porn anytime soon, guys. Sorry.

Ten worst dates — you can read about them all here and, please, share yours. It’s fun!

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Posted in Blogging, Politics

No time for this

11 Dec

Well before Chapin called and I got all fired up about the attorney, I was in a fairly good mood. I had just arrived home (late, of course, because since I took yesterday off of work for my final I came back to a bazillion tasks today) and had opened the mail.

I was psyched to find this*:

But also disappointed because I first have to get through reading this (and then some) and writing a huge research paper:

And then there are these piles sitting around my room waiting for finals to end (yes, I know, waaayyy too much chick lit and self help, but I haven’t bought a “good” non-works/school book in probably two years):

Okay, I’m down to a simmer and I’m more relaxed at the prospect of someday getting to read these books. Now back to work!

*You can order the book by clicking on the image above. If you want more Manslations, you can find them here.

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Posted in Blogging, Law School, MILS, Politics

Religious Case for Gay Marriage

10 Dec

Newsweek has a controversial article out discussing the religious/scriptural grounds for allowing gay marriage. I had not read the Newsweek article until today, but I loved this commentary from Susan K. Smith of an inclusive Ohio church.

From Newsweek:

Religious objections to gay marriage are rooted not in the Bible at all, then, but in custom and tradition (and, to talk turkey for a minute, a personal discomfort with gay sex that transcends theological argument). Common prayers and rituals reflect our common practice: the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer describes the participants in a marriage as “the man and the woman.” But common practice changes—and for the better, as the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “The arc of history is long, but it bends toward justice.” The Bible endorses slavery, a practice that Americans now universally consider shameful and barbaric. It recommends the death penalty for adulterers (and in Leviticus, for men who have sex with men, for that matter). It provides conceptual shelter for anti-Semites. A mature view of scriptural authority requires us, as we have in the past, to move beyond literalism. The Bible was written for a world so unlike our own, it’s impossible to apply its rules, at face value, to ours.

From Susan Smith’s commentary:

But somewhere along the line, religion decided to put itself ahead of God and the principles of God it, religion, had taught us. When that separation occurred, humans took the place of God and began to make human decisions, but attributing them to God.

And so for too long, too many people, too many groups, have been marginalized and scorned, in the name of God and in the name of the Bible, which, again, we humans seem to have “fixed up” for God.

In the fray of Biblical interpretation has been the whole subject of sexuality and marriage. Gay people have been said to be Biblically-pronounced abominations to God, and gay marriage an affront to Biblical intent.

Poppycock.

Ha! Love it.

As much as I love my DivorceCare group and as much as I was raised in a Christian home, I have to admit that I am uncomfortable with the church/bible dictating what I should and should not do in terms of marriage, sexuality, etc. It is such a gray area and ultimately I am the one who has to stand before God. There is so much more to me than that. Anyway, the other week the video focused on God’s view of divorce (as laid out in the Bible which, I must point out, was written by man, not God). God HATES divorce, they said. And he wants you to find a way to reconcile with your spouse, divorced or not. Yeah, wasn’t expecting to hear that…. Now it wasn’t all bad. It did talk about the loopholes for divorce (abuse, infidelity, etc.), but said that ultimately God would prefer that you help the person get religious counseling and “recover” and then remarry or reconcile. Um, I’m thinking no. And, along those lines, I’m agreeing with these articles that this is yet another example of humans putting their spin on what they think God would want. Sure, I suppose I am, too. But ultimately, as I said, it is between me and Him/Her and no one else.