This week’s roundup is up at One New Duck.
The Weekly MILP (Moms in the Legal Profession) Roundup is the brainchild of Saramel (retired). It is hosted on a rotating basis at the PT-LawMom, A New Duck and Butterflyfish blogs and is usually posted no later than Monday.
The New York Times has a pretty heartwrenching piece today examining what happens when a couple immigrates, then brings their small children over and raise them here. The kids, of course, get completely Americanized only to find out when they graduate from high school that the buck stops there. Should the children have to pay for the “sins” of the parents? I hate these laws. Regardless of anyone’s position against the parents, it won’t deter them to make the kids pay for it. How sad… 
The article also addresses professionals, often women, who flee their countries to join their spouses in the U.S. and end up taking blue collar jobs and not utilizing their skills here. That is even worse!
Ms. Morgan over at Modern Single Momma kindly bestowed on me the honor of being included in her Who’s Who of Single Parents on the Web. I am flattered to be in such good company, along with some of my favorites such as Depot Dad and Ts Quest. My existing single parent blog readers should definitely check out Morgan’s list of other awesome single parents. I know I will!
New readers: After several years of rockiness during the end of my marriage and the last year of divorce, I can recommend several things.
1. Divorce Recovery Groups (Divorce Care is fairly good and has a group for kids; I also found another church-based/psychologist-run and FREE group that was very helpful).
2. Toys. Those first few post-divorce months were rough. Babeland was an unintimidating way for me to find some toys that helped me take care of my sexual needs without having to actually go to a store and be reminded of my sucky single status next to the lovey-dovey couples. Ugh. Plus they have awesome product reviews, quality items and user guides. What more could you ask for!! I own most of the Top 5 and I highly, highly recommend the Lelo line, especially Gigi, for both solo and partnered fun. (And if you are visiting on tax day and look at my sidebar, you will find a 10% discount and a free toy with purchase at Babeland.) They have items for men, too! 
3. Friends. Getcha some. Try iHeart or other online communities, but also get out there. You may not feel like it, but join a book club, a faith community, volunteer, etc. Do something you would not have done as a married person and take time for yourself even though you may feel like you need to spend all your time with your kid. I got involved with a church outside my faith solely for the single parent ministry because it allows me to do things with my kid and meet other single parents with kids so that my kid can bond with other children of divorce and not feel so alone and I can meet other divorced moms and dads. Welcome. 
And now, my write-up on Morgan’s site:
7. PT Law Mom
Single parents are….doing the very best we can, day-by-day, on this unexpected, sometimes-difficult and often joy-filled, journey.
On a path to self-discovery after years in an emotionally abusive marriage, I chronicle my life as a divorced single mother who has moved back in with her parents and share stories of healing, dating, sex life, my relationship with my ex, and the delights of my precious five year-old.Favorite Post: Why you shouldn’t bring your rebound guy home and try to hide the fact that he slept over from both your kid and your parents…
What You Didn’t Know about PTLawMom:“I had a craptastic 2008, which you can read about here and have had to give up my part-time law school program. I moved back into my parents’ garage apartment to save money and provide a stable home for my son. I am blessed with an awesome career that I love.”
Connect with PTLawMom:
For too many years, the U.S. has lived under kind of a don’t ask/don’t tell immigration policy which supports big companies and the labor market as a whole with cheap labor but really isn’t fair to the people who are trying to follow the law and immigrate under the processes set forth. No matter what side of the debate you choose, I think everyone would agree that the system is broken, backed up, and very flawed. So I was pleased to read in today’s New York Times that President Obama plans to start the debate on immigration reform in May. It won’t be pleasant, I’m sure, but hopefully they can improve the current situation which ultimately is unfair to all sides.
The NY Times reports that a Federal Judge ruled today that the FDA must relax restrictions on the morning-after pill and offer it to girls as young as 17 without a prescription. However, it does still have to be offered behind pharmacy counters. While I agree that the behind-counter measure provides some sort of protection against young girls using this as their primary birth control method without any counseling from doctors or parents, I think it also serves to intimidate, especially in small towns. Hopefully the FDA will fully relax the restrictions and allow it to be sold without behind-counter measures.
That said, the fact that it is so readily available and to girls so young means that there needs to be way more public awareness and education about using it as an emergency measure, not a primary line of defense against unplanned pregnancy. I’d also worry about girls who have been assaulted. If their only concern is pregnancy and it is alleviated here, will this reduce the number of girls reporting their assaults and seeking examination? The whole thing concerns me, even though the feminist in me understands the reasoning behind it and supports that. Still, education is key.
The New York Times reports today that, barely two months into his first term, President Obama is having to face the “difficult” choice of whether to offer health benefits to domestic partners of government employees. To do so would be a great step forward for equal rights. However, should Obama allow domestic partners to receive benefits, he would be violating the Defense of Marriage Act (one of the biggest pieces of bullshit legislation Clinton passed).
Ben LaBolt, a White House spokesman, said: “While the president opposes gay marriage, he supports legislative repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act. He believes this country must realize its founding promise of equality by treating all its citizens with dignity and respect.”
Obama has been down tougher roads in the past seven weeks. This choice is easy. Dignity when you are sick, the choice to have the person you love by your bedside as you die, the ability to provide properly for the person you have chosen to spend your life with — all of these should be basic human rights. Hopefully Obama will set the right tone going into this term with a choice to allow healthcare for all federal employees and their spouses or domestic partners.
I’d like to take a moment to find out a bit more about you all. I get about 1,500 readers a week, many of you unique, and I’d like to understand why you are reading. So I’m asking a few questions and I’d appreciate it if you would take a moment to answer them in the comments. My comments are screened only for spam and hate mail purposes but please don’t let that stop you from commenting (unless you’re a hater…). 
1) How long have you been reading PT-LawMom?
2) How did you find my blog? Who referred you?
3) Do we know each other? If so, do I know you read?
4) Going back to the beginning of my blog (Oct. 2006), are there any topics you really liked that you would like to see me blog about more regularly?
5) If you could ask me any question, what would it be?
6) If you could tell me anything, what would it be (and if you have something to say, you should comment more! )
7) If there is one area I have touched on that you’d like me to develop more, what would that be?
If you are a girl, what is your number one tip for meeting quality men? If you are a guy, what is your number one tip for a woman who wants to get you to ask her out (because I’m done asking guys out)?
I’m not going to ask you what you want me to stop blogging about. 
This is my blog. But I’m interested in getting to know the lurkers. Hope some of you participate!
Cheers to all us thieves! Visit Sunday Stealing to sign the Mr. Linky and visit other participants’ blogs.
1. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? I don’t have a particular favorite but I always enjoy the soup and salad combo at Olive Garden.
2. What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it? Chocolate. 
I also love grilled veggies and I do a great mix of sauteed spinach, tomatoes and mushrooms in balsamic vinegar. YUM!
3. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Ha. Yes! Spleen, Appendix, Tonsils, Adenoids, Gall Bladder, Sphenoid, Ethnoid, part of my liver, lymph nodes, a few nerves (biopsy), bone marrow (biospy), white blood cells (apheresis), etc., etc., etc.
4. What is the last heavy item you lifted? Full bookshelf (moved it across my room)
5. Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Yes
6. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? I’m an inherent worrier. I think that knowledge would be much more of a burden than a comfort.
7. If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Bronwyn. My parents were going to name me that originally but my American grandparents balked.
8. What’s your goal for the year? Make it through; come out stronger.
9. Last person you hugged? My son
10. First place you went this morning? Bathroom.
11. Do you always answer your phone? No
12. It’s four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it? My brother or a random male friend. I’m not sure I’ve ever had a 4am text from a female. LOL!
13. If you could change your eye color what would it be? I love my Hazel eyes. I guess I would change them to blue if I could but I really wouldn’t.
14. What’s on your wish list for your birthday? I would like a Kindle.
15. Does the future make you more nervous or excited? Excited!
16. Do you have any saved texts? Yes.
17. Ever been in a car wreck? Yes, my family and I hit a cow on the day we were driving to the airport to move to another country. Then the day after I got my first car at 19, I turned right in front of a porsche. 
18. Do you have an accent? Depends on who you ask. When I was in Germany, the Germans could tell I wasn’t a native American. But most Americans can’t tell anymore since I lost my accent.
19. What was the last song to make you cry?
20. What did you do last night? Cleaned my room so that Chapin and my Dad could move a bunch of furniture out to the new storage facility. Chapin has to go through the stuff I packed up while he left the country and see if he can find some items he is missing.
21. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Oh yes. 2008 was definitely a rock bottom year.
22. Current hate right now? Men. I’m having a hard time believing there are men out there who can really be faithful for life, love one woman, show her how they feel and give her what she needs. But, hey, that has a lot to do with my own issues, too. Working on it.
23. Met someone who changed your life? I meet life changing people all the time. I definitely think there are angels among us.
24. How did you bring in the New Year? I took my then-boyfriend and his daughters to a Brazilian restaurant and then we went to an entertainment center for a night of bowling, mini golf, arcade games, etc.
25. What song represents you? “Why Walk When You Can Fly” by Mary Chapin Carpenter and, especially this year, “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child
And if you asked me a year ago, it probably would have been “He Thinks He’ll Keep Her” by Mary Chapin Carpenter
So today was a crazy day. I tried to listen to the radio but ultimately I kept getting dragged into meetings or having to take calls and I missed it. Missed Roberts screwing up the oath (Doh!), missed the speech, etc. But I just watched it and I cried. Classy and inspiring. Wow…
My friend, Rick, had an awesome status message on Facebook today: “Rick is hopeful that someone at the White House had the foresight to rig things so that the door does in fact hit him in the ass on the way out.” Well, at least he left 30 minutes early. Didn’t think the boos were too nice but, hey, I felt those people’s pain. Hooray for a new day!!!
P.S. I was especially thrilled to hear him talk about holding public officials accountable for their spending while in office. I hope that leads to sincere campaign finance reform, lobbyist reform and a hard line with foreign dictators. I heard the Rev. Desmond Tutu speak on NPR this morning and he made an excellent case for Obama possibly taking the first firm steps against African and Middle Eastern dictators who keep their people in poverty by stealing them blind and preventing development. I look forward to see how foreign policy changes under Obama.
The National Law Journal has an article about how some major granting organizations, including the JEHT Foundation, were hit incredibly hard by the Madoff Ponzi scheme. Unfortunately JEHT is a large funder of public interest legal groups and law schools nationwide. One of the ones close to my heart that has just lost a $720,000 grant is the National Immigrant Justice Center. Please consider visiting them today to make a donation or perhaps, if you are an attorney, law student or paralegal in an area served by one of the public interest organizations listed by the National Law Journal, go volunteer your services to help soften the blow.
Some of the biggest hits were taken by the ACLU, whose current grant is $680,000; Brandeis University’s International Center for Ethics, Justice and Public Life, whose current grant is $600,000; the Center for International Environmental Law, whose current grant is $600,000; and Heartland Human Care Services’ National Immigrant Justice Center, whose current grant is $720,000, according to the JEHT. The Center for Constitutional Rights, halfway through a $300,000 grant, was devastated by the news.
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