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Archive for the ‘Family Stuff’ Category

On a Roll

31 Aug

My head hurts. And I can’t sleep. And when I lay down, I burp vomit. And people are pissing me off, making me cry and generally upsetting me. And the worst part is that I know some of it is me feeling irrational. I need a deep dark hole. More than that, I need to vent. Hello blog world!

So the illness continues. What else is new with me, huh? DVT blah, blah, blah. Was doing okay, working from home, rolling with it. Then the severe headaches and vomiting began. Next thing I knew, it was 6 days in the hospital and a week at home face down in my pillows trying to just think a coherent thought. Already missed Pumpkinhead’s birthday. Yep, you guessed it, also missed meet-the-teacher and first day of second grade. Mommy FAIL.

After a bunch of different meds, I am back on a lower dose of the anti-seizure meds for my general neuropathic pain (and my leg feels better – hey, a good news item!) and spent the past week on high-level oxygen, steroids and Zofran. The steroids make me sweaty and apparently are what is causing insomnia (well that and the baby that decides it’s time for kickboxing every single time I lay down and the head that aches with tiredness and yet won’t go over that sleepy edge.) The steroids finally took the throbbing/severe vomiting part away but my head still feels like someone has it (and my neck) in a vice grip 24/7. Vicodin helps some. If I try and go anywhere or get up and do much more than say, change the laundry over, I regret it. This is getting really freaking old.

Work? Hah. Well I started to draft this post yesterday when I was heading back (online from home) after two weeks with zero work contact. Bwahahahaha. Of course I completely overdid it and woke up today feeling like someone had pummeled me with a 2×4. That just made me more cranky, depressed and irritated and frustrated. Then I had a meeting set for 1 p.m. with three coworkers. They had flipped out on me yesterday about a project that I had to drop while I was in the hospital so I worked for about 4 hours last night and got them info, revised drafts, charts, etc., at 1 a.m. for a 1 p.m. call today. 1 p.m. comes around. Senior staff member gets on phone. Asks if Paralegal Do-Minimum-Necessary (“P-DMN”) and Temp have joined the call (we’re all phoning in and doing a WebEx). I say no. She goes down the hall to see where they are. Nothing. At 1:15, she calls P-DMN and puts her on speakerphone. Know what she says? “Oh, my work ran late this morning so Temp and I have gone out for lunch and I am running some errands.” :evil: WTF?!?!?!?!?! Um, we had a meeting? Is my time not important? Are you freaking serious? Do you have any idea why this is so completely wrong? You couldn’t even e-mail and reschedule?!?

And this after we had a 1.5-hour meeting yesterday with IT so I could explain some VERY basic technical concepts to my internal team (they were planning on ripping IT a new one when, in fact, they just didn’t understand the tool). At the end of the 1.5-hour call when they realized that they had no flipping clue what they were talking about and that, in fact, the project is just fine, P-DMN (who Boss has asked to run this project so that she actually has work to do) tells ME to write Boss a summary e-mail. Heh. Okay, P-DMN. Boss gets very detailed, concise, summary e-mail memo at 1 a.m. when I finally finished the work (copied to all) that starts with “Dear Boss, P-DMN asked me to send you a summary of our meeting this afternoon.” :twisted: The worst part is that I had several conference calls after that 1 p.m. call today so I insisted on showing senior person the work I completed last night and now I have to hold an entirely different WebEx tomorrow for the two who bailed on me. F&^%!

As for going back to work, not looking good. I have to see a high-risk maternal/fetal medicine specialist Thursday to check the baby because my vitamin levels are all out of whack and I keep losing weight. And the neurologist now wants me to start physical therapy three days a week here near my house. Shit. And I have to see my OB weekly now!! Boss and Big Boss are telling me “No Big Deal” and encouraging me to just work from home, where I’m more productive and can do work in spurts of 3-4 hours, nap, 3-4 hours, nap, etc. But the driven part of me freaks out by that. Still… I am such a fucking mess. When I try to do anything, I get so sick. Honestly, I’m not sure I could drive in every day even if I wanted to and they let me! So the question is whether I go ahead and continue to work from home. Or take full-on disability and just go off the radar completely so I don’t fuck stuff up. Or try to go into work and risk relapse or worse illness issues or whatever. I think what I may do is try to go in on the day each week that I have my OB appointment for a few hours so I have “face time” if the doctor clears it. The good/bad thing is that work is halfway between home and my OB so it wouldn’t be a big deal to stop there for a couple of hours before/after an OB appt. I’m hoping that’s a compromise we can work out.

I was doing well working from home before the headaches/vomiting started. But that just totally incapacitated me and now I feel like a bumbling freaking idiot. Mind you, it’s only been two days since I’ve “been back” so maybe I’ll get better. I sure hope so.

Any words of wisdom from you seasoned career professionals? Honestly I guess I have no choice but to take it day by day and roll with the punches but, shit, can it stop already?!??!?!?!? And can people stop pissing me off?

(Don’t get me started on my family, ALL of whom completely failed to show for my baby shower on Saturday even though 1) they all live in town, 2) I dragged my sick ass and oxygen tank two blocks to FSIL’s for the damn thing and regretted every minute in terms of how I felt physically, and 3) several of them said yes and then didn’t come, leaving FSIL out money, time and effort (so rude!!). And half of them have RSVP’d “no” to my wedding!!! Including my uncle, whose wife apparently thinks divorce and Protestantism are both sins to be avoided. :roll: I am really feeling hurt at this point but, again, there is only so much a girl can take and I am spilling over. Got to focus on what is right in front of me today.)

 
5 Comments

Posted in Engagement, Family Stuff, Health, Pregnancy

 

Update for Shels and Anon

07 Mar

Okay, okay, so apparently people think I’m lost and gone forever, abandoning the blog. :( Perhaps… Reality is just that my life is racing at warp speed and I can barely find time to breathe right now. So here’s the update:

    Health


Except for a flareup in January, my pain is being managed quite well with the Zonegran and Cymbalta. I’m trying to sleep, eat well, take my vitamins and drink plenty of water.

    Love


Purchased my wedding dress. :) Long, princess-like, with rhinestone pickups and a beautiful fitted bodice. Made me cry.

Purchased the Save the Dates in December. They are still sitting in the dining room waiting for me to have time to hand address them… Yeah. My love is sweet, considerate, amazing and Pumpkinhead adores him. I’m happy. And I think happy people blog less.

    Work


My boss just got canned. Yee-haw! Not sure if this will work out well or end up being a bad thing but more guidance and direction will be welcomed. Micro-managing not so much. We will see how it shakes out… Lots of exciting projects right now but my “promotion” and new exempt status have lead to me working 10-12-hour days routinely. I’m pretty beat but enjoying the challenges. We’ll see how it goes…

    Pumpkinhead


I took the whole week of Spring Break off only to find out that Pumpkinhead would prefer to spend that time on the truck with Chapin. Fine! ;-) Seriously, though, it is fine.

Pumpkinhead is doing amazingly well in school. His math scores are amazing, which surprises me because he is also fantastic at reading and typically people seem to only do well at one or the other. Or at least I did… Math just kills me. But he is thriving, little smartypants. The only downside is that he loves books so much that he will sneak books into bed and stay up reading. I’m getting t the point where I’m threatening to remove his bookshelves from his room. I hate that!! But he needs sleep, too. We’ve started giving him a 30-minute warning for bed and allowing him to read, then telling him “lights out.” Hopefully he will start to obey and not get lost in book world. I understand — did it myself — but I do need to be the mama.

    Family


Parents are happy in Dubai. They are returning in May for my brother’s wedding and have decided to take back the car they gave us. Then they are kicking out the people who are living there for free, have told my brother and future SIL that they cannot, in fact, move in, and are going to leave it empty until my wedding and then look into renting it out. We’ll see how that goes. Love the family drama!

That’s all for now.

 
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Posted in Engagement, Family Stuff, Mommy stuff

 

Fuckety fuck fuck

14 Feb

Okay, so perhaps I should be grateful that they were even willing to let us use a car while they were out of the country. But I’ve been maintaining their house, picking up mail, doing banking, etc. My parents sent a note this morning and informed us that the banged up Subaru that they had “given” us, into which we have invested $1k+ in new tires, body work, etc., will be given to my brother in May and that I will be able to “use” their other car, which he had previously, after my Mother’s month-long tour around the U.S. with her girlfriend. In the meantime, I’ll be bussing it.

Grrr, why do my parents have to be so goddamn wishy-washy? They do this Every.Single.Time!

 
2 Comments

Posted in Family Stuff

 

Noise Sensitivity

21 Dec

Noise drives me nuts. Fingernails tapping on a desk. The sound of people chewing. A dog slurping its water. The sniffle of someone with a cold. It is so irritating it is almost physically painful to me. Tonight Mr. V got really pissed at me because a Cindy Crawford commercial’s insane rhythm was making my skin crawl and I couldn’t take it anymore. I seriously cannot be the only one out there with this weird condition. And a condition it is. I seriously could not sit through a meal with my parents as a teenager because the sound of my mother chewing would make me want to gouge my eyeballs out. Anyone? Anyone?!?!

 
8 Comments

Posted in Family Stuff, Health

 

More Family Drama

22 Nov

So my mother is at it again. Sigh… She and my father have moved to the Middle East. Of course, despite a generous housing allowance, my mother chose an apartment way beyond their means. They have already had me pull $10k out of an annuity to cover the costs of furniture and other “setting up expenses.” Mind you, this is a $50k annuity and is ALL the retirement money they have, other than the house.

Oh, and they have two church friends living at the house, not paying rent. They are being nice because the guys are out of work but, um, that hardly pays the bills! They’ve had me driving down to fix things (the guys have low IQ and had issues figuring out how/where to plug in a coaxial cable…) and to pick up the mail. Mr. V finally put his foot down today and told me to get the mail forwarded here (we’re an hour’s drive from their house). Doh!

Anyway, when Mr. V and I got engaged, his mother generously offered to give us a little money towards it. I was bowled over. She asked about my parents’ contribution and I laughed. But I decided to suck it up and ask, even though I should know better based on history (remember this summer’s harassment over the borrowed money for the house sale? Grr.) They shocked me and said they’d been talking it over and wanted to give me $5k. THEN they shocked me further by saying they were going to take another $10k out of the annuity to cover taxes and leave $5k with me. I was shocked and delighted. Yeah… should have known.

Money comes and parents suddenly act dumb like they have no recollection of the conversation that took place mere days earlier. No money… They acted like I was nuts and said they understood they would have until 12 days before the wedding to give me the funds. Reassuring!

Then I’m talking to them yesterday about my brother, who is also getting married this year, and my mother mentions that they have covered an extra $1k of his wedding expenses because his bride’s parents aren’t coming up with their share. Um, pot? Kettle. And my brother? The one who drained their bank account while Mom was recovering from a heart attack? The one who beat up his girlfriend and forced my parents to pay his legal bills? The one who has had his car, student loans, etc., covered because he is a sad little diabetic and they feel guilty. Wah. And my mother spent the other $3k on an electric wheelchair. And she’s chosen not to work. Um…

After this summer, I said I would never, ever ask them for money again. Mr. V is pissed that I’m even helping them at all with their house. But if something happened to them over there and we were in a bad place, I would be really upset. Ugh. I need to grow a spine.

 
15 Comments

Posted in Family Stuff

 

Cuteness

09 Oct

And now, to balance my fears post, a post about all the cute.

Pumpkinhead has discovered Skype. Ths is awesome because it means he can chat with Mimi and Granddad in the Middle East. But not so awesome because he gets up at, like, 5 a.m. and has rowdy online conversations. LOL. He has also discovered emoticons. Apparently he sent Mimi the following IM at 6 a.m. “Time for {beer emoticon}?” Oh yes, that’s my boy. She wrote back, “Nope, time for {hot chocolate emoticon}”.

He’s also been sending me e-mails on Gmail. Yesterday’s was “Mommy gets a gold star!” Awww…

He and Mr. V are so cute. They have been recording “boy shows” and I find them watching them together when I get home from work. Scooby Doo, Zumangi, etc. Mr. V is big into homework time and he and Pumpkinhead have been working every day on math and spelling. I’m so impressed with how well Mr. V has integrated us into his household and how he has taken on the “Dad” role so smoothly. :-) He mutes the TV and puts on his authoritative voice, calling up to Pumpkinhead to come down and give me a kiss before bed. He has also apparently made it his mission in life to get Pumpkinhead to brush for two minutes.

Oh yes, I should pay attention to what the man does… :-D

 
1 Comment

Posted in Dating, Family Stuff

 

Blah

19 Sep

I am very unhappy. Work is stressful. Life is stressful. Future uncertain. Bad dreams. Daddy leaving tomorrow to live indefinitely on the other side of the world. Boo! :( That is all.

 
2 Comments

Posted in Family Stuff, Single Parents, Women in Law

 

Blogger slack

07 Sep

I’ve been in a funk lately. Working too much, too stressed, and feeling unmotivated to blog. That said, I do have some news.

My Dad finally got a job this week. But it’s in the UAE. The good news is that it’s what he wants and he is super-excited. He saw his psychiatrist before he left and will be getting set up with one overseas.

My mother will also be joining him. And, woohoo, she has FINALLY (19 years after her diagnosis with bone-on-bone arthritis) decided to have her left knee replaced. This is a good thing.

But. They are offering my brother and his fiance the chance to move down and live in their house for the next few years. For free. This concerns me for several reasons. 1) Remember my brother is the one who stole from my mother after pushing her over the edge into a heart attack less than two years ago? 2) If my parents are in the UAE, who will be here to “fix” things if something goes wrong? Oh yeah… that would be me. So part of me really hopes that future SIL says no. But the realistic part of me knows my brother will probably be down here soon. Hopefully he really is on the right path and doing better. Sigh…

I’m also reverting back to my old needy ways. Mr. V and I have fallen into a bit of a rut. You know how men do romantic things when they are dating you and then stop when they “have you.” Yep… And his backing off those things makes my silly anxious head worry about us. Which is ridiculous because I’m living in his house and I love him and I know he loves me. Why do I need constant reassurance? I think part of it is that old saying… “Why buy the cow when you’re getting the milk for free?” And part of it is his last long-term girlfriend. Also ridiculous but he lived with her for three years and then, just when she thought he was going to propose, he dumped her. Mind you, it wasn’t working and he made the right choice. But the fact that it went down that way makes me worry about what he is NOT telling me. See how my crazy mind works?

I think I’m sinking into a bit of a panic for several reasons. First, my parents leaving. We moved a ton when I was a child and they were the only constant in my life. The idea of them living so far away, while probably good because my mother is driving me nuts, is also somewhat devastating. Second, I am feeling very dependent on Mr. V and I hate that. I hate that I am so broke right now and I hate that Pumpkinhead and I will now be so dependent on him. The worrier in me feels like the bottom could drop out at any time and then what?!? Third, I’m feeling a bit of work insecurity. I’ve been the “go-to” person for so long and I tend to thrive in that role. We have two new paralegals starting in the next two weeks. One is a very experienced paralegal and the other is a friend of mine. While I definitely need the help, the crazy part of me worries about giving “my stuff” over to someone else (friend – don’t read this and worry – just venting) and having them do it faster, better and in a more impressive way. Isn’t that ridiculous?

To top it off, I am becoming a serious “girly girl”. Which is crazy because I am soooo not that way. Got married the first time in a green dress in front of a judge, went out for Mexican after and never gave it a second thought. But now I’m turning into a mushy fool, coveting the blessings of others and feeling anxious about the future when I should just relax and let things go at the proper pace. My friend, John, is shopping with his girlfriend for a ring. He and I went on one date last year and now we’re in similar spots romantically but he’s “leap years” ahead. LOL. Mr. V’s sister is getting married and all of her planning and prep makes me swoon. She wrote her vows last night. Sigh… Then my brother is getting married. Remember how I was guessing that he would have gotten her a basic Walmart special for an engagement ring? Um, no… He had his high school friend’s father custom design something gorgeous for her. Yeah… the green-eyed monster is coming out loud and proud. Bad PT-LawMom. I should have guessed. My brother broke his leg one year when he was 11 and made me trudge through the snow to give his girlfriend a rose. He’s always been a romantic.

Anyway, all of the above – parents leaving, job stress, my covetous nature combined with general insecurity and anxiety – has me not blogging and just trying to get through. I’m hopeful that I will rally and start being happy for all the blessings in my life rather than worrying so much.

Yes, someone should take me out back and shoot me.

 
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Posted in Dating, Family Stuff, Single Parents

 

Randomness

22 Aug

My brother is in town. With his fiance. I haven’t met her and I haven’t seen him for a year and a half since he angered my mother so much she had to physically send him back home (he was visiting) and, a day later, she suffered a massive heart attack. He has since been arrested and gotten probation for “smacking his bitch up”, then “found Jesus”, got a full-time job and, by all appearances, has turned his life around. We’ll see… Anyway, my son completely adores his uncle and begged to go see him Thursday night. Bugged Mr. V all day long until I got home to drive him to Mimi and Granddads and then stayed up until 10:30 when their flight was delayed. Pumpkinhead spent the night with his uncle and then swam all morning with him until my parents took him to stay with his father’s girlfriend until I could pick him up.

I still haven’t seen my brother but he promised Pumpkinhead a trip to Chuck-e-Cheese tomorrow so I’m supposed to pick him and his fiance up after church and take them back to our house so they can do the Chuck-e-Cheese trip with Pumpkinhead and swim in our newly refinished pool. Then my mother is making lamb so I get to torture Mr. V with some quality family time. LOL. With any luck there will be very little judgment and it will be peaceful and pleasant and I won’t leave wanting to physically harm either my brother or my mother. And I do actually look forward to meeting future SIL who appears to be wonderful. With any luck he has really turned his life around and will treat her right. Can’t wait to see what her ring looks like. Maybe he saved some of the $14,000 he drained from my parents’ bank account during my mother’s post-heart attack hospitalization to pay for something super-nice… Like this
Or this
Or this
Or this
Or this
Or this

But he probably went with this

In the meantime, I spent the day cleaning up the house to make it semi-presentable for guests. Mr. V is super-anal (comes from a long line of OCD housecleaners, whereas I come from a long line of clutterbugs) and has been losing his shit since we moved in because there are boxes everywhere! Fortunately I got Pumpkinhead’s room and bathroom cleaned and the kitchen, living room and dining room cleared of all clutter. Even cleaned up the kitty puke stains on the carpet (Mr. V’s nasty cat gets stress-induced hairballs… blah!) Smells halfway decent and looks much better. Now I just need a haircut so that *I* will look a bit better. ;-)

Tomorrow morning I have to meet Mr. V’s sister so we can plot and plan his 40th birthday party. Old man hits the big one on September 30 so we don’t have much time. Looking at fun cakes, fun presents and a surprise element to the party. Glad I have a partner in crime! Mr. V’s sister is also getting married this year in November so we’ve got a lot going on in the next few months. Her bridal shower is September 26 at a nearby casino and I’m thrilled that she has offered to share a room with me. I think she likes me. Woot! :-)

 
1 Comment

Posted in Dating, Family Stuff, Mommy stuff, Single Parents

 

Keep Moving

16 Aug

Yesterday was Moving Day. Pumpkinhead and I are now officially living in sin with Mr. V. LOL. Of course the house is a disaster area and my back/arms/legs are in enormous pain so that won’t change anytime soon. I have to go back to the old house and finish painting the cabinet doors I removed and promised to paint before the new tenant gets back. Waah. I just want to go back to bed. I also have about four hours of work to do for my boss who, due to a sudden push for a ton of different projects, has removed the “no overtime” restriction and is now pushing me to work nights and weekends. Fortunately the new paralegal should start in a few weeks and, with any luck, my workload will go back to “normal”.

Good thing because Pumpkinhead has one more week of freedom before he starts school. He’s with his Dad this weekend so he’s not having to deal with the mess, thank goodness. I took a few hours off last Thursday to get him registered and go to the doctor. Registration plans were foiled because I need a notarized statement from Mr. V (even though he was with me) that we live with him and a copy of the divorce decree since my name doesn’t match Pumpkinhead’s anymore. Ugh. So I need to find time to go back up there this week during their limited hours. And of course they are having “meet the teacher” from 11-12 on Tuesday. WTF?!? Thank God for Mr. V, who has promised to take Pumpkinhead over for that.

The new pediatrician is now the fired pediatrician. She totally sucked. Pumpkinhead got a third chicken pox vaccination because she didn’t read his immunization record properly, even though I insisted he had already had two (she said he couldn’t go to school without it and insisted he HAD to have it – of course when they then gave me the printout after the shot, I immediately saw TWO varicella injections. One was combined with MMR in 2007 – grrrrr!). She also couldn’t answer questions that Mr. V and I had about Pumpkinhead’s body odor (weird child – despite baths has some strange BO issues for a 6 year-old!) and sleepwalking. Fortunately she did reassure me that, despite the fact that the Vyvanse Pumpkinhead takes makes him lose weight, he is still just fine. He’s at the 90th percentile for both height and weight at 6 years old – 48″ and 56.6lbs. I have the shot records to register him for school and will be finding a new pediatrician before the next visit.

As for me, I need to go back to the neurologist. While my pain has been doing well, thank God, my numbness has not. My middle and ring fingers have been very numb lately and I’ve been having a lot of tingling in my shoulders and feet. I need to at least report that even if the answer is, yet again, “so sad; not much we can do.”

Now I need to get myself braced for more hours of hard labor. Took a pain pill last night to help me sleep but woke up this morning in excruciating pain. I am going to try some Aleve and see if that helps.

P.S. Still no child support from Chapin but he did get a new job finally. They didn’t pay him week one (they apparently pay a week behind) but he has promised money as soon as he gets paid and has asked for the child support office’s phone number so he can call and figure out how to get straight with the arrears. As for Blue Eyes, he met me late last night in the parking lot of a nearby restaurant to give me a little cash and promises more soon.

 
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Posted in Family Stuff, Health, Mommy stuff, Single Parents, Women in Law

 
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