Pumpkinhead has spent several weeks throughout this summer with his Dad – a few one-week sessions and one two-week session. He adores his Dad, and for that I am glad, but we have problems.
First, he keeps telling his father that we don’t feed him. WTF?!?! I think part of it is that we eat relatively healthy food at our house and we stick to mealtimes with fruit or other light snacks. When Pumpkinhead is with his Dad, mostly because his Dad drives a truck, he gets lots of fast food and meals out. Sure, we do the occasional hamburger, too. And we’re not starving him but we don’t let him just go grab food anytime he’s hungry without asking. It really upsets me that he keeps telling Chapin that we aren’t letting him eat when he is hungry. Sooooo inaccurate! Unfortunately the Vyvanse he’s on for ADHD (which he is not on during the summer) makes him lose weight so he’s quite trim. But neither his pediatrician nor his psychiatrist are worried – both say he is a good weight for his height. And his father seems to forget that he was 5’8″ with a 27″ waist when we met. Pumpkinhead is fine!!
Second, he seems to be having a lot of anxiety around the baby. First he asked my mother if she knows of Mommies who have died while pregnant (this was early on – way before the DVT actually made that a possibility). Then he started telling us he’s worried he won’t “learn it all” in time for the baby. We tried reassuring him by taking him to a sibling preparation class at the hospital. He seemed to really enjoy it. But he apparently told Chapin that maybe he should live with him after the baby comes since we will have a new baby. 
Both Mr. V and I give Pumpkinhead a ton of attention and love, reassure him he will be a great big brother and tell him how much the baby will love him and what a great help he will be. It breaks my heart that he is so anxious!!
Third, he has started talking back and being grouchy when he comes home. He’s done this several times recently after returning from his father’s. When I raised it with Chapin, Chapin said he’s not doing that with him. But apparently he is begging to stay and not come home. Now my theory is just that he enjoys being with his Dad. They do a lot of fun things. And he is always very happy and excited to see us, says he missed us, etc., and always says he misses me when I calls. I think he’s just playing us. Of course it’s understandable that he wants more time with his Dad!! But it hurts my feelings to hear that he’s saying he doesn’t want to come home. Fortunately the sane part of me knows that he enjoys life with me and Mr. V. He giggle hysterically playing in the pool with Mr. V, launches himself into his arms when he gets home from school or a day out, cuddles with me and read books and pets my head when we’re in the car. He is a happy kid. But he’s also a sad kid, the product of divorce and part of him hurts and is anxious.
And this, my friends, is why divorce super sucks. 
P.S. He is super cute, though. Today at Sibling Class getting ready for hospital tour.
And the evil storage unit people had the lights on a motion-detected timer so I had to do most of the searching in the dark. The motion sensor was all the way at the end of the hall and pointing in the opposite direction! What genius thought up that system? Grrr. Hey, but at least I have the papers. It was either find them or pay for a new survey.
