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First Kiss, Worst Kiss, Last Kiss, Best Kiss

13 Feb

Canadian Bald Guy had a fun idea for people this Valentine’s Day. Share your First Kiss, Worst Kiss, Last Kiss, Best Kiss.

First Kiss – well my *first* kiss or, as we called it in NZ, “pash”, was with my childhood friends, Nancy and Odessa. Lots of teeth and awkard tongue. My first boy/girl kiss was with a boy named DJ during bible camp when I was 15 (yes, Steph, that DJ). The world shifted on its axis and I could barely breathe. It was pretty amazing.

Worst Kiss – I hate kisses where people are ramming their tongues down my throat. I once had this guy from the Dominican Republic who would steal kisses in the walk-in where we worked and he was a very forceful, painful kisser when on the mouth. (Sexy/hot elsewhere…)

Last Kiss – Mr V kissed me in the bathroom on his way out of the bedroom. He’s in the doghouse so it was a good one.

Best Kiss – Ahh, Mr. V. I can tell you to the minute. It was our fourth date. We had gone to a great buffet and then to a movie and were strolling hand in hand back to our cars. The parking garage elevator doors opened and, as the doors shut, he suddenly pushed me up against the wall and kissed me until my toes curled. It was so unexpected and, well, hot, that my mind just went “bzzzzz” and I thought I would pass out. The night actually went down from there, sigh, but it was a fantastic kiss!!

Thanks for the walk down memory lane, CBG. Kisses rock!

Readers, what was your First Kiss, Worst Kiss, Last Kiss, Best Kiss?

4 Comments

Posted in Dating

Uncomplicated

30 Jan

And men think women are complicated. Cee has the real story on what women want.

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Posted in Dating

180 Degrees

30 Jan

Mr. V just left the house to buy wood so he can build me a window seat where I can read. Swoon. And when he goes out, he calls to ask if he can pick something up from the store for us. And tomorrow, while I’m out wedding dress shopping, he’s taking Pumpkinhead and a friend out for lunch and a movie as a reward for Pumpkinhead’s AWESOME report card (Mr. V’s idea!). Obviously no relationship is perfect but, wow, looking back at this time last year and at earlier years’ diary/blog entries about Chapin and the way he treated me (and, yes, the way I let myself be treated), I am so thankful for my life right now and the man who is in it.

“When two people are in a relationship with both of them with their feet in, you share the common ground of each other and have each others best interests at heart. You bring out the best in each other, and are yourselves, warts and all, and you grow together rather than grow apart.” ~ Baggage Reclaim

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Posted in Dating, Engagement

Cuteness

09 Oct

And now, to balance my fears post, a post about all the cute.

Pumpkinhead has discovered Skype. Ths is awesome because it means he can chat with Mimi and Granddad in the Middle East. But not so awesome because he gets up at, like, 5 a.m. and has rowdy online conversations. LOL. He has also discovered emoticons. Apparently he sent Mimi the following IM at 6 a.m. “Time for {beer emoticon}?” Oh yes, that’s my boy. She wrote back, “Nope, time for {hot chocolate emoticon}”.

He’s also been sending me e-mails on Gmail. Yesterday’s was “Mommy gets a gold star!” Awww…

He and Mr. V are so cute. They have been recording “boy shows” and I find them watching them together when I get home from work. Scooby Doo, Zumangi, etc. Mr. V is big into homework time and he and Pumpkinhead have been working every day on math and spelling. I’m so impressed with how well Mr. V has integrated us into his household and how he has taken on the “Dad” role so smoothly. He mutes the TV and puts on his authoritative voice, calling up to Pumpkinhead to come down and give me a kiss before bed. He has also apparently made it his mission in life to get Pumpkinhead to brush for two minutes.

Oh yes, I should pay attention to what the man does…

1 Comment

Posted in Dating, Family Stuff

Fears

09 Oct

The last few months, for all their good, have also been filled with fears, unsettled feelings and worry. Ha. What else is new? I’m dealing with a ton of stress at work and that has me on edge, working too much and trying to “fix” something over which I honestly have no control and seek out affirmation from someone I know will never give it.

As for my relationship, it is going better than ever. And that scares the living daylights out of me. Heh. I hate, hate, hate not being in control. And I hate feeling “less than”, but I do. Mr. V says my insecurities are exhausting. Yeah, I’ve heard that one before (Blue Eyes). Jeff Mac says to pay attention not to what a man says but to what he does. So if he says loving things but continues to live somewhat in the past, staying friends with old girlfriends, checking out the occasional Match.com pairing even though his account is shut, or showing evidence of desires I could never fulfill, does that mean I’m in trouble? Or am I magnifying small, normal guy behaviors and overlaying them with insecurities borne of a cheating husband who made me feel undeserving of love? How do I stop feeling so panicked at every little thing and learn to fully trust someone who hasn’t given me any reason NOT to trust him? How do I stop “making him pay” for Chapin’s mistakes?

My friend, T, blogged this week about this same issue and how she doesn’t trust her own judgment, constantly over-thinking and second guessing every move. I can see why it would frustrate Mr. V so I try not to question or second-guess and keep most of this to myself. I have to hope that someday it will go away. And part of me really does think I need to go back to my therapist and talk to her about everything. Because I know that Mr. V is an awesome man who is good for me and vice versa. And I love him. And Pumpkinhead loves him. He makes me laugh and makes me happy. I think this all stems from the fact that I still don’t really understand why Chapin cheated and, deep down, truly feel that it was because of some deficiency of mine. How do you get past that? How do you learn to love yourself and trust that you are lovable and worthy for everything you have to offer and not to hang everything on someone else? I’m doing it at work and I’m doing it at home. Argh. I don’t believe it’s something you can learn overnight but I sure wish there was a pill you could take.

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Posted in Dating

Sigh…

29 Sep

The kittens won’t stop scratching the hell out of the carpet. We need to declaw them. The old cat won’t stop peeing. The dog won’t stop pooping by the door. The boyfriend won’t stop smoking cigars to “ward off stress.” The kid won’t stop sleepwalking. The Mommy won’t stop drinking two glasses of Merlot every night to de-stress and lower her too-high sex drive.

Sigh…

That sounds miserable. Life really is going fine. I adore Mr. V and vice versa. This is honestly the healthiest relationship I have ever been in (I know, that isn’t saying much). The kid seems to be happy, albeit anxious about his Mimi and Granddad moving across the world to take a job in the Middle East.

But my job is freaking killing me. Three weeks into my “help” arriving and, although they both do rock, the boss hasn’t really given them much except “new initiatives.” Argh. I am continuing to work 11 – 14 hours every day. I’m tired and cranky and stressed. Hoping things change soon but I’m not seeing much light at the end of the tunnel. Blah.

1 Comment

Posted in Dating, Mommy stuff, Women in Law

Grrr Men

21 Sep

So men are really pissing me off today.

First it was my boss who kept insisting I invite a coworker who is in the middle of an international relocation/vacation to several meetings this week. I finally said, “Um, boss, not to be rude or out of line, but isn’t [coworker x] on vacation?” His response? “Well all of us are expected to check in on vacation.” Okay… Sure, for urgent matters. But for the technical training I can provide her with in a week when she’s back in the office? Um, no. Asshole.

Then Mr. V is totally on my bad side. He lost a huge client last week (1/4 of his annual revenue). In order to help out, I am taking on a second job. So I spent 1.5 hours on an orientation call this evening for this ethnography service (you follow people around a store and observe their shopping habits, offering gift cards in exchange for survey responses). Anyway, in the middle of the conference call my Dad called and asked if he could come stay the night. Am I the only one who thinks turning down a family member is akin to sacrilege? So of course I said sure. I thought he was on his way to the UAE Sunday but he ended up stating three more days and will fly out Wednesday night. Anyway, Mr. V was pissed. Said the house was a mess (I cleaned the living room/entry way/dining room last night and cleaned out the guest room/made the queen bed upstairs). Then when my Dad arrived, he stayed quiet and ignored him. Finally, when my Dad went to get a snack before bed, he let out the biggest sigh.

Excuse me? I live here. I pay part of the bills, too. My Dad is perfectly welcome to eat the food my money buys and sleep on my bed in our house. Grrr. WTF?!?! Seriously, do you think Mr. V would have told his family the timing was inconvenient and that they couldn’t spend the night? I understand that the last-minute nature of the request was rude but it is my Dad. And I love him. And he’s off to the Middle East for God knows how many years. Geez!! If he wants to open our fridge without asking, well, that’s how I was raised – mi casa es su casa. My parents brought strays and random church folks and hippies and crazy people over all the time. Heck, sometimes I even had to share a room. It was just how we were. If the man wants to be with me, he has to accept both me and my family, quirks and all.

Grrr….

6 Comments

Posted in Dating, Divorce, Single Parents

Memories

13 Sep

I need new perfume. I’ve been out of my signature scent, Sensuous, for a few months now, but I still have body cream. Unfortunately every time I put it on it makes me think of Blue Eyes and this last year of difficult divorce recovery. So I don’t wear it. I have the same thing with men’s scents. Chapin wore Chrome and always smelled amazing. I love a good smelling man.

Yesterday I was at garage sale #2 trying to make some money getting rid of some of my stuff. As I stood there folding my son’s baby clothes, I inhaled and was immediately taken back to late nights rocking him to sleep. And I knew I had to reclaim some of those precious items. Even after washing them they still had his amazing baby scent.

Am I the only one who has such a strong reaction to scents? To this day I cannot smell certain soap without thinking of my Gramy. My mother also has a very specific and yummy scent – she’s always prided herself on smelling good. My Granddad was super allergic to creams and scents so he always smelled like talcum powder. Just inhaling that makes me cry.

So I need a new perfume. A signature scent with no associated memories for a new life going forward. And I think it’s definitely time to toss the Sensuous cream. No matter what, every time I try to wear it, I get flashbacks. Done…

2 Comments

Posted in Dating, Divorce, Single Parents

Bliss

13 Sep

Have I mentioned that I love Mr. V? Totally, completely. I fell for him the moment we met when he walked into the restaurant on our first date, came up to the bar where I was sitting, and kissed me until my toes curled. That’s when I knew.

Since then it’s only gotten better. He picked me (bonus!) and told me I “might be the neatest person I ever have the chance to meet.” Awww. For the past few weeks he’s watched Pumpkinhead most every evening while I’ve worked an insane amount of OT. When I come home, he has a fresh bottle of wine waiting for me or some other sweet thing. He’s called and left me a voicemail singing a cute love song or Facebooked about how great I am. Yep, swoon!

He’s romantic, funny, stubborn and generally amazing. He keeps me smiling, laughing and happy. Best of all, he complements my sensual side perfectly. He’s up for most anything and has taken me to places I never thought I would go.

No narcissism, no anger, no violence, no jealousy. Sure, we have our disagreements, but our style of conflict resolution is soooo much more healthy and balanced than in any of my other relationships. With as much as I’m stressing out over other parts of my life, my life with Mr. V keeps getting better with every passing day.

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Posted in Dating, Single Parents

Sunday Stealing: Random Dozen Meme

07 Sep

1. When you go to Walmart, what one thing do you get every single time, besides a funky-wheeled squeaking cart full of frustration? Chocolate

2. What is something that people are currently “into” that you just don’t get or appreciate? Reality television – bleech!

3. What is something that really hoists your sail that other people might feel “ho-hum” about? I am a bit of a Facebook fanatic, especially since Mr. V introduced me to Mafia Wars. I don’t usually play games but that one is fun!

4. Favorite song to sing in the shower or car? I’m not consistent but I love to sing and do it more so in the car.

5. A really great salad must have this ingredient: Mushrooms

6. What advice in a nutshell would you give to new bloggers? Don’t blog anything you wouldn’t say out loud. I know, I know, I blog a lot of wild crap. But I would say it out loud. I would!

7. What was the alternate name that your parents almost named you? Do you wish they had chosen it instead of the one they gave you? Bronwyn Mary. I think it is beautiful but I like my name. I was ultimately named after my late Godmother and I appreciate being named after such a wonderful woman.

8. What in your life are you waiting for? This, this, this, this, this (business travel) and this

9. You get a package in the mail. What is it, and who is it from? A book from an Amazon Marketplace seller.

10. Today–what song represents you? I’d like to say “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child. But in my neurotic state it’s probably “If You Had My Love” by Jennifer Lopez

11. What is one thing that blogging has taught you about yourself? I’m a little nutty.

12. How are you going to (or how did you) choose the clothes you’re wearing today? What do they say about you in general or specifically how you’re feeling today? I had to go for a midnight dive into the pool to rescue my glasses. They fell in after an unexpected sexy afternoon skinny dip with my man. (hubba hubba) I didn’t realize they were in the pool until we were leaving for dinner so I went out to eat blind and then jumped in when I came back. Picked my clothes because they were dry and warm. It’s almost noon and I’m still wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt.

To participate in Sunday Stealing, visit the blog and add your link.

1 Comment

Posted in Blogging, Dating, Single Parents