The last few weeks have been stressful. And, after yet another day of crying on a dime and feeling like I want to rip people’s heads off, I finally called my OB/Gyn and she is putting me back on Cymbalta. I was taking it for pain but it has the added benefit of being an SSRI that should even me out again. I hope so. I hate the way I am feeling.
The baby is rolling around in my belly. I have to see Ob/Gyn Thursday for my 17-week appt and will schedule the “big u/s” at that time.
Mr. V had his gastric bypass the Wednesday before last. I stayed with him Weds – Fri and worked from the hospital; his mother came down the following week. So far he has been doing amazingly well. He’s able to drink far more than I ever could and is doing well with the pureed food this week (soft foods next two weeks). And his pants are falling down! 
Work is really stressing me out. I think it’s because I am so hormonal/depressed/on edge but I’m having a hard time. Hopefully the meds will help. However, this past month has been hard. I was away for three days for my brother’s major clusterfuck of a wedding. Came back for one day and then Mr. V had surgery the next day, during which I worked from home/hospital. I knew it was going to be a “slack” month but I feel behind and overwhelmed. Last week I broke a tooth (grinding my teeth from stress) and had to be at the dentist most of the morning to fix it. Then today I had to leave work at 2 (got there at 7:30 for an early meeting) after OB/Gyn ordered me home. Now Mr. V is warning me to make sure I don’t take any more time off and dedicate myself to work.
I understand his point but… man, I’ve worked my butt off the past 2.5 years, staying late, working weekends, working most of the day from home on sick days, etc. I am always on call. Big Boss even emailed me during my brother’s wedding (and, yes, I responded. I know, I know…). It’s so hard to draw a boundary but shouldn’t I be cut a little slack sometimes? I know. The answer is probably no. Because the minute I stop working at the pace I have been, the word gets out and that is all they remember. They’re already wondering what to do for my maternity leave and are trying to get me to teach people what I do. I hate that. First because I’m the kind of person that enjoys being the go-to person. Second because the people I am teaching just don’t seem to get it. And, because I am freaking irritated by everything right now, that makes me want to pull my hair out.
So, pregnant ladies, how do you keep up your reputation while pregnant, grouchy, tired and unmotivated? Fake it until you make it? I just don’t care today and, while I’m hoping it will get better, I’d really like to just lay on the couch for a few weeks and ignore work. Sigh… 
