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Posts Tagged ‘Single Parents’

Bliss

13 Sep

Have I mentioned that I love Mr. V? Totally, completely. :-) I fell for him the moment we met when he walked into the restaurant on our first date, came up to the bar where I was sitting, and kissed me until my toes curled. That’s when I knew.

Since then it’s only gotten better. He picked me (bonus!) and told me I “might be the neatest person I ever have the chance to meet.” Awww. For the past few weeks he’s watched Pumpkinhead most every evening while I’ve worked an insane amount of OT. When I come home, he has a fresh bottle of wine waiting for me or some other sweet thing. He’s called and left me a voicemail singing a cute love song or Facebooked about how great I am. Yep, swoon!

He’s romantic, funny, stubborn and generally amazing. He keeps me smiling, laughing and happy. Best of all, he complements my sensual side perfectly. He’s up for most anything and has taken me to places I never thought I would go.

No narcissism, no anger, no violence, no jealousy. Sure, we have our disagreements, but our style of conflict resolution is soooo much more healthy and balanced than in any of my other relationships. With as much as I’m stressing out over other parts of my life, my life with Mr. V keeps getting better with every passing day.

 

Sunday Stealing: Random Dozen Meme

07 Sep

1. When you go to Walmart, what one thing do you get every single time, besides a funky-wheeled squeaking cart full of frustration? Chocolate

2. What is something that people are currently “into” that you just don’t get or appreciate? Reality television – bleech!

3. What is something that really hoists your sail that other people might feel “ho-hum” about? I am a bit of a Facebook fanatic, especially since Mr. V introduced me to Mafia Wars. I don’t usually play games but that one is fun!

4. Favorite song to sing in the shower or car? I’m not consistent but I love to sing and do it more so in the car.

5. A really great salad must have this ingredient: Mushrooms

6. What advice in a nutshell would you give to new bloggers? Don’t blog anything you wouldn’t say out loud. I know, I know, I blog a lot of wild crap. But I would say it out loud. I would!

7. What was the alternate name that your parents almost named you? Do you wish they had chosen it instead of the one they gave you? Bronwyn Mary. I think it is beautiful but I like my name. I was ultimately named after my late Godmother and I appreciate being named after such a wonderful woman.

8. What in your life are you waiting for? This, this, this, this, this (business travel) and this

9. You get a package in the mail. What is it, and who is it from? A book from an Amazon Marketplace seller.

10. Today–what song represents you? I’d like to say “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child. But in my neurotic state it’s probably “If You Had My Love” by Jennifer Lopez

11. What is one thing that blogging has taught you about yourself? I’m a little nutty. :-)

12. How are you going to (or how did you) choose the clothes you’re wearing today? What do they say about you in general or specifically how you’re feeling today? I had to go for a midnight dive into the pool to rescue my glasses. They fell in after an unexpected sexy afternoon skinny dip with my man. (hubba hubba) I didn’t realize they were in the pool until we were leaving for dinner so I went out to eat blind and then jumped in when I came back. Picked my clothes because they were dry and warm. It’s almost noon and I’m still wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt.

To participate in Sunday Stealing, visit the blog and add your link.

 

Blogger slack

07 Sep

I’ve been in a funk lately. Working too much, too stressed, and feeling unmotivated to blog. That said, I do have some news.

My Dad finally got a job this week. But it’s in the UAE. The good news is that it’s what he wants and he is super-excited. He saw his psychiatrist before he left and will be getting set up with one overseas.

My mother will also be joining him. And, woohoo, she has FINALLY (19 years after her diagnosis with bone-on-bone arthritis) decided to have her left knee replaced. This is a good thing.

But. They are offering my brother and his fiance the chance to move down and live in their house for the next few years. For free. This concerns me for several reasons. 1) Remember my brother is the one who stole from my mother after pushing her over the edge into a heart attack less than two years ago? 2) If my parents are in the UAE, who will be here to “fix” things if something goes wrong? Oh yeah… that would be me. So part of me really hopes that future SIL says no. But the realistic part of me knows my brother will probably be down here soon. Hopefully he really is on the right path and doing better. Sigh…

I’m also reverting back to my old needy ways. Mr. V and I have fallen into a bit of a rut. You know how men do romantic things when they are dating you and then stop when they “have you.” Yep… And his backing off those things makes my silly anxious head worry about us. Which is ridiculous because I’m living in his house and I love him and I know he loves me. Why do I need constant reassurance? I think part of it is that old saying… “Why buy the cow when you’re getting the milk for free?” And part of it is his last long-term girlfriend. Also ridiculous but he lived with her for three years and then, just when she thought he was going to propose, he dumped her. Mind you, it wasn’t working and he made the right choice. But the fact that it went down that way makes me worry about what he is NOT telling me. See how my crazy mind works?

I think I’m sinking into a bit of a panic for several reasons. First, my parents leaving. We moved a ton when I was a child and they were the only constant in my life. The idea of them living so far away, while probably good because my mother is driving me nuts, is also somewhat devastating. Second, I am feeling very dependent on Mr. V and I hate that. I hate that I am so broke right now and I hate that Pumpkinhead and I will now be so dependent on him. The worrier in me feels like the bottom could drop out at any time and then what?!? Third, I’m feeling a bit of work insecurity. I’ve been the “go-to” person for so long and I tend to thrive in that role. We have two new paralegals starting in the next two weeks. One is a very experienced paralegal and the other is a friend of mine. While I definitely need the help, the crazy part of me worries about giving “my stuff” over to someone else (friend – don’t read this and worry – just venting) and having them do it faster, better and in a more impressive way. Isn’t that ridiculous?

To top it off, I am becoming a serious “girly girl”. Which is crazy because I am soooo not that way. Got married the first time in a green dress in front of a judge, went out for Mexican after and never gave it a second thought. But now I’m turning into a mushy fool, coveting the blessings of others and feeling anxious about the future when I should just relax and let things go at the proper pace. My friend, John, is shopping with his girlfriend for a ring. He and I went on one date last year and now we’re in similar spots romantically but he’s “leap years” ahead. LOL. Mr. V’s sister is getting married and all of her planning and prep makes me swoon. She wrote her vows last night. Sigh… Then my brother is getting married. Remember how I was guessing that he would have gotten her a basic Walmart special for an engagement ring? Um, no… He had his high school friend’s father custom design something gorgeous for her. Yeah… the green-eyed monster is coming out loud and proud. Bad PT-LawMom. I should have guessed. My brother broke his leg one year when he was 11 and made me trudge through the snow to give his girlfriend a rose. He’s always been a romantic.

Anyway, all of the above – parents leaving, job stress, my covetous nature combined with general insecurity and anxiety – has me not blogging and just trying to get through. I’m hopeful that I will rally and start being happy for all the blessings in my life rather than worrying so much.

Yes, someone should take me out back and shoot me.

 

Randomness

22 Aug

My brother is in town. With his fiance. I haven’t met her and I haven’t seen him for a year and a half since he angered my mother so much she had to physically send him back home (he was visiting) and, a day later, she suffered a massive heart attack. He has since been arrested and gotten probation for “smacking his bitch up”, then “found Jesus”, got a full-time job and, by all appearances, has turned his life around. We’ll see… Anyway, my son completely adores his uncle and begged to go see him Thursday night. Bugged Mr. V all day long until I got home to drive him to Mimi and Granddads and then stayed up until 10:30 when their flight was delayed. Pumpkinhead spent the night with his uncle and then swam all morning with him until my parents took him to stay with his father’s girlfriend until I could pick him up.

I still haven’t seen my brother but he promised Pumpkinhead a trip to Chuck-e-Cheese tomorrow so I’m supposed to pick him and his fiance up after church and take them back to our house so they can do the Chuck-e-Cheese trip with Pumpkinhead and swim in our newly refinished pool. Then my mother is making lamb so I get to torture Mr. V with some quality family time. LOL. With any luck there will be very little judgment and it will be peaceful and pleasant and I won’t leave wanting to physically harm either my brother or my mother. And I do actually look forward to meeting future SIL who appears to be wonderful. With any luck he has really turned his life around and will treat her right. Can’t wait to see what her ring looks like. Maybe he saved some of the $14,000 he drained from my parents’ bank account during my mother’s post-heart attack hospitalization to pay for something super-nice… Like this
Or this
Or this
Or this
Or this
Or this

But he probably went with this

In the meantime, I spent the day cleaning up the house to make it semi-presentable for guests. Mr. V is super-anal (comes from a long line of OCD housecleaners, whereas I come from a long line of clutterbugs) and has been losing his shit since we moved in because there are boxes everywhere! Fortunately I got Pumpkinhead’s room and bathroom cleaned and the kitchen, living room and dining room cleared of all clutter. Even cleaned up the kitty puke stains on the carpet (Mr. V’s nasty cat gets stress-induced hairballs… blah!) Smells halfway decent and looks much better. Now I just need a haircut so that *I* will look a bit better. ;-)

Tomorrow morning I have to meet Mr. V’s sister so we can plot and plan his 40th birthday party. Old man hits the big one on September 30 so we don’t have much time. Looking at fun cakes, fun presents and a surprise element to the party. Glad I have a partner in crime! Mr. V’s sister is also getting married this year in November so we’ve got a lot going on in the next few months. Her bridal shower is September 26 at a nearby casino and I’m thrilled that she has offered to share a room with me. I think she likes me. Woot! :-)

 

$7 on the 7th

07 Jul

Donate $7 on the 7th

By donating $7.00 to The Liz Logelin Foundation on the 7th of every month, you are helping provide financial assistance to families as they deal with the loss of their loved ones. In light of the country’s current economic crisis, $7 on the 7th is an easy, affordable way to impact the families of widows and widowers in a positive way.

The Liz Logelin Foundation was established to provide financial assistance to young widows and widowers with dependent children.

The following is a list of guidelines for the qualifications of recipients:

* Assistance is available to widows and widowers with dependent children under the age of eighteen who complete a one-time application.
* Eligibility is for a period up to one year (12 months) following the death of parent.
* Applicants must submit the following documentation in support of their applications: birth and death certificates, copies of your most recent 1040 or other tax forms showing dependency of child/children, and any other documents the Board may require. All requests for payments must be supported by appropriate and official documents.
* The amount of support given will be determined by the Foundation’s Board of Trustees.

On March 24, 2008, little Madeline Elizabeth Logelin came into this world.

The next day, her mother left it.

From this impossibly tragic event, a community was born. A community of individuals, united in their desire to help and support Madeline and her father, Matt. This community formed the basis for what would become a worldwide charitable foundation:

The Liz Logelin Foundation – For the Love of Liz.

After the catastrophic loss of his wife, Matt Logelin coped by turning not only to his wonderfully supportive family and friends, but to the internet. He had already begun a casual blog to keep friends and family abreast of Liz’s pregnancy; within 2 weeks of her passing, that blog became what it is today: a place where Matt can share his joys and frustrations, challenges and heartbreaks; where concerned friends, new and old, can meet, talk, laugh, and cry with Matt; and most importantly, where other widows and widowers can offer – and be offered – support and friendship.

So strong and large was the community that spontaneously formed around Matt and Madeline, it seemed not only natural, but necessary to harness the strength of that network and turn it into something – something that could help ease the pain and lighten the load felt by widows and widowers everywhere.

 

Love

11 Jun

Apparently Rachel inspired me. ;) Yeah, I said it. Sigh… Was sitting on the couch the other night staring at him and he looked over and said lovingly, “What’s up? Why are you looking at me?” Couldn’t help myself (and had some beer courage). Grabbed his neck, put my mouth up to his ear and said, “I am totally falling in love with you and it scares the shit out of me!” Guess what? He loves me, too. Grin.

Remember a few months ago when I said I have no doubts, no red flags, no worries? Yep, gets better every day and still not a single “Holy crap, this man is a psycho!” warning signs. As Ms. Single Mama says, “This is just too weird. Feels like a dream and we’re both in it together.”

And, oh yeah, he actually does things to help me out (not a narcissist – woot!) like spending the afternoon at my house waiting for the cable guy or cooking me dinner after a hard day without me having to ask. And when I talk about my job or my family or other issues, he LISTENS! And gives feedback that makes it clear that he has heard and is actually helpful, not obnoxious and forceful “fixing”.

And, oh yeah, he makes my toes curl. Sexy texts aren’t his thing but he knows I like them. Out of the blue yesterday he sent me a sexy text that just made me swoon. :-) He’s romantic in that the sweet things he does are so unexpected and awesome.

I especially like the way he is with Pumpkinhead. And this, of course, is where I have to be most careful. What I like is the way he will text me out of the blue with a really thoughtful suggestion for something we could all do together and it is always something Pumpkinhead will really love but that we will also enjoy so I can tell he actually wants to do it and isn’t just phoning it in. And even though I kept them apart until about three weeks ago, Pumpkinhead has fallen hard for Mr. V, too. He spent a week at his Dad’s house and would always ask about Mr. V when I called. Then he asked today when we could go over so he could play with Mr. V and his dog. When we arrived, he threw his arms around Mr. V and told him he had missed him (yes, all you worriers, this is where I worry about his long-term well-being but my heart says this guy is wonderful and won’t hurt my child). When we left after dinner, Pumpkinhead leaned forward, grabbed my neck and whispered, “Mommy, you need to marry [Mr. V] because I really like him!” Awww.

To be continued…

 

$7 on the 7th

07 Jun

Donate $7 on the 7th

By donating $7.00 to The Liz Logelin Foundation on the 7th of every month, you are helping provide financial assistance to families as they deal with the loss of their loved ones. In light of the country’s current economic crisis, $7 on the 7th is an easy, affordable way to impact the families of widows and widowers in a positive way.

The Liz Logelin Foundation was established to provide financial assistance to young widows and widowers with dependent children.

The following is a list of guidelines for the qualifications of recipients:

* Assistance is available to widows and widowers with dependent children under the age of eighteen who complete a one-time application.
* Eligibility is for a period up to one year (12 months) following the death of parent.
* Applicants must submit the following documentation in support of their applications: birth and death certificates, copies of your most recent 1040 or other tax forms showing dependency of child/children, and any other documents the Board may require. All requests for payments must be supported by appropriate and official documents.
* The amount of support given will be determined by the Foundation’s Board of Trustees.

On March 24, 2008, little Madeline Elizabeth Logelin came into this world.

The next day, her mother left it.

From this impossibly tragic event, a community was born. A community of individuals, united in their desire to help and support Madeline and her father, Matt. This community formed the basis for what would become a worldwide charitable foundation:

The Liz Logelin Foundation – For the Love of Liz.

After the catastrophic loss of his wife, Matt Logelin coped by turning not only to his wonderfully supportive family and friends, but to the internet. He had already begun a casual blog to keep friends and family abreast of Liz’s pregnancy; within 2 weeks of her passing, that blog became what it is today: a place where Matt can share his joys and frustrations, challenges and heartbreaks; where concerned friends, new and old, can meet, talk, laugh, and cry with Matt; and most importantly, where other widows and widowers can offer – and be offered – support and friendship.

So strong and large was the community that spontaneously formed around Matt and Madeline, it seemed not only natural, but necessary to harness the strength of that network and turn it into something – something that could help ease the pain and lighten the load felt by widows and widowers everywhere.

 

Passive-Aggressive Hell

02 Jun

I am living in it. Grrr. My mother is driving me crazy. She is refusing to help me bathe Pumpkinhead one minute so I can work on the mountains of stuff I brought home from work and begging for hugs the next. She has apparently also decided that EVERYTHING in her house MUST go. She does not want any of Pumpkinhead’s toys or books here. She says 45 minutes around the beltway is just too far and she will never see him. Umm… okay. She said she won’t drive that far. I told her we’d come see her and she said, “No, I have things to do. You’ll need to call first.” Okay…

In the meantime, my Dad is still looking for work. There’s talk of assignments in exotic Nigeria (4-5 weeks on/4-5 weeks off), South Africa, Spain, etc. We will see… Hard to know with him and his mental illness what is an actual lead and what is him spinning a possibility into an exaggerated reality.

Crazy Roomie has finally moved completely out. But she has not cleaned. And the house is a disaster. She was in there for TEN DAYS. Red soda stains on the carpet. Kitty litter all over the floor in the bathroom and hallway. Her kids’ pee and poo all over the toilet seats and floor in both bathrooms. :evil: Seriously gross. The stained carpet is horrible and will require professional cleaning. Mr. V is also going to hire a service to deep clean the house. Nasty! First he and roomie are doing a walk-through today before she gives him back the keys (and he races to change the locks). We’ll see if she shows even a twinge of shame as she surveys her mess. Ick.

Then there is Big Ass Truck. Bitch (and I don’t use that word lightly) left pink nailpolish all over the front seat and inside the middle console. Then she ripped the leather on the middle console and left the backseat littered with popcorn, french fries, sticky soda, etc. Grrrrr. BITCH!!!! :evil:
Nailpolish
Photobucket

Pumpkinhead finishes school on Friday and then I need to start moving the rest of my stuff out. Want to paint his room and the kitchen before I get too settled so I have a LOT to tackle this weekend!!

 

Kaboom!

26 May

Well today sucked. Buried my favorite aunt, threw up all morning and had to listen to Crazy Roomie bitch me out starting at 8 a.m.

Last night I sent Crazy Roomie a standard sublease agreement. Had the standard provisions about rent payment (due on 1st, late fee if after 5th); utilities (1/3), etc. It also had a rules section with provisions about the shared use of common areas and a clause about my need for access to the bathroom I share with four (4!!) kids from 6:30 – 7:30 a.m. weekdays so I can get ready for work (because I had problems with a past roommate). I promised to try to keep my child off of her computer (located in living room) and asked her to keep her kids off mine (located in my bedroom). Most importantly, because we both have children under six, I put a clause that NEITHER of us would have overnight guests without informing the other. I think that is perfectly normal and fair. All seemed very standard and usual to me.

She FREAKED. Wanted to know why we needed an agreement at all. Then proceeded to say that Mr. V’s visit to the house yesterday to drop off the Lowes and Home Depot receipts she had asked for meant he was spying on her and to tell me he isn’t allowed over without 24 hours notice. :shock: Then she started to say, “Doesn’t he know that the awning outside is practically falling over? I don’t even have to pay rent. I could just take him to court over all of this and make him wait.” Then she said that she tripped over a place where the carpet is raised and almost broke her leg and “his parents should watch out because the house has so many problems that could hurt people.” So of course I warned Mr. V of the potential for litigation because she’s already talking that way. The reality is that there is very little wrong with the house except that it is old. The awning isn’t broken. It has a few loose nails that need mending.

Mr. V had a whole list and Crazy Roomie wasn’t supposed to move in until June 1 to give him time to fix them. But she not only started moving her stuff (which was allowed) but also moved her kids in. I found one of them in my room spilling a Dr. Pepper on the floor. Her youngest races around the house on his trike and scrapes the cabinets. The oldest slams doors and sticks marshmallows on my wood dining room table. Argh. They are nightmares. :(

So I called Mr. V and we had a heart-to-heart. I told him I cannot live with that kind of stress and that I would move but he would have to not give me shit about the neighborhood I could afford. He talked to his sister and decided that the better choice would be to have Crazy Roomie move out. They have not signed a lease yet. I will take on the full rent and try to find a roommate to rent the second half of the house (Master Bedroom with bathroom and large walk-in closets). So now we just have to see how Crazy Roomie reacts…

Have I mentioned lately how much I adore Mr. V? Still, I hate, hate, hate that it worked out this way, that he has been stuck in the middle, etc. This was a great idea in theory but in reality the woman is nuts, her kids are nuts and the whole situation is insane!

Keep me and Pumpkinhead (and poor, stressed Mr. V and his parents) in your thoughts and prayers as we try to work this all out. Ugh…

 

Mini Drama Update

26 May

This weekend was crazy. Moved a 24′ truck full of furniture to the new place. Only to find out what was suspected was true. New Roomie is a complete nutjob. She had a complete crying breakdown over a miscommunication and told me that it is obvious her friendship means nothing to me. Huh? What? Do I even know her yet?!?!? Then she told her oldest son to stop making every day the worst day of her life. :shock: :shock: :shock: And her oldest son (12), as sad as I feel for him, is a real shit. In her business, in my business and generally mean to his brothers and my child. I spent the whole weekend anxious, stressed and generally losing my mind. And don’t even get me started on the movers who scratched all my furniture, bent my fridge plug and scratched New Roomie’s antique desk (yes, she lost it – I had warned her it was in the way, though…).

Sooo… since I am low on funds and have already paid my June rent and another $400 in moving costs, I am stuck. But I can control this. So first Mr. V and I explored other options. We decided the best choice was for me to stay put for the summer while I figure out what to do next. In the meantime, I called Chapin. He offered to pay extra for childcare this summer, if necessary. He also gave me the name of one of his coworkers’ wives who has an in-home daycare. She is from Guatemala, prepares homecooked meals for the kids she watches and does a lot of activities with them. I’m going to visit her tomorrow evening after my Aunt’s funeral to see the house and check her out but I think it sounds great. If she doesn’t work out, the extra money from Chapin should help me cover the cost of the YMCA or another local facility. If I can do in-home, then I can afford a few specialty camps this summer as well.

Anyway, the idea is that I will spend June – August at her house and in the meantime be looking at other options and seeing how it goes. I cannot stay there but if I know it is temporary, that makes it easier. There are apartments and potentially other rental houses or even women with kids looking for a shared situation. I just cannot have my kid stay home daily with kids who are so badly behaved. Their breakfast this morning consisted of marshmallows, soda, cookies and popcorn. :shock: My son had Mac & Cheese and a yogurt (the cooktop is broken so I couldn’t make eggs). Now to figure out how to tell her in a kind way that I will be taking my daycare money and spending it elsewhere…

P.S. I arrived at my Aunt’s wake tonight and my mother’s first sentence was, “You know you still have a ton of crap in my house, right?” :evil: Mind you I am not officially moving out for two more weeks… Sigh.