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Apartment and Life Update

17 Jun

Sorry I have been so absent lately. Illness, moving, inability to blog from work (duh) and closing on a house sale all lend themselves to a perfect storm of non-blogging.

Work has been kicking my butt the past few weeks with competing tasks all due RIGHT NOW. My boss is out of the country and called to chew my ass out for something yesterday. Then he called back 10 minutes later to repeat himself in case I didn’t get it the first time. He was wrong; I was right. Good thing the man is a few thousand miles away right now. Grrr.

Yes, I am fully moved into the new place. Not fully unpacked but getting there. And I found roommates. Yes, roommates. I was looking for one, but I ended up with a couple and their cute 7 year-old daughter. No signs of crazy so far, woot! And the wife bakes. Danger, Will Robinson!!! The man is a general contractor and the woman is an accountant. They have just moved to town and were looking for a short-term lease while he restarts his business and they sell their house out of state. It will be very handy to have him around to help with the house repairs and to do all the icky yard work I wasn’t looking forward to handling (he’s already taken that on like a champ!) Sounds crowded but so far so good. They are very laid back and nice. Their daughter and Pumpkinhead are having fun. Sure, there’s some fighting/competition but nothing the parents can’t handle. I’m also considering switching to the same daycare so I can do dropoff and they can do pickup, which would be a huge help for me.

Speaking of daycare… GRR. Chapin wanted me to use the wife of one of his coworkers. She wants $125/week (actually she wanted $150). She reports to Chapin on EVERYTHING and then I get a call. For example, as soon as I drop off, I get a call asking why I dropped him off so early/late. Or why he wasn’t wearing socks (he refused and I finally stopped fighting). Or why he was in a grouchy mood. For Pete’s Sake!!!! I’m about ready to throttle Chapin.

Closing on the house sale didn’t help. I had to take $6,100 to closing. Yep. No help from Chapin. No discount from the real estate agent who has now received THREE commissions from us in the past three years (purchase, rental and now sale). I’m totally tapped out. Argh.

On a sad note, Shirley the Cool Cat is missing. She has a new collar with her name, number and address so I’m hoping she will show up. But it’s two days and counting. I am so sad. Pumpkinhead has also started to ask for her. I am praying nothing bad has happened to her. Oh boy.

This weekend I have to go down to my parents’ house and clean up. They have been calling regularly to find out when I will be doing so. Lovely… I told them this weekend because I’m going to see Blue Eyes on Saturday morning to pick up a bed I’d given him and a washer/dryer set he said I could have (no, not weird – this all came about when I went to pick up the chainsaw and weed whacker I’d left in his garage. And he still owes me money. And we’re both in good/happy places in our lives right now so all is good.)

Speaking which, have I mentioned that I love Mr. V? Oh yeah!! I’ll love him even more if he follows through and gets me some of these. Tee-hee.

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Posted in Dating, Family Stuff, Mommy stuff, Single Parents

Are You Enjoying May Appropriately?

20 May

May is Masturbation Month. If you’re not doing it, you must get started because, really, the month is almost over. If you need a little inspiration, check out my sidebar for some erotica blogs to read or go over and look at T’s review of her first
G-Spot Toy.

I prefer Lelo’s line of hypoallergenic, super-powered and (WOOT!) rechargeable toys. They are worth every single penny and available at my favorite toy store, Babeland.com. I find the Lelo line much less intimidating than those freaky/weird and HARD plastic rabbit toys. Ugh. You can even give your sweetie a treat for masturbation month. For the heterosexuals out there, read about the Top Five Sex Toys for Men at Babeland, complete with user reviews and guides. And for those between partners who’d like a little instruction, Babeland has a full line of instructional DVDs for your viewing pleasure. As for me, I think it may be time to break this little gem out again and try it again for some partnered sex. It was a bit awkward the last time I tried it but the reviews swear it gets better the more you work on it and I’m all for simultaneous orgasms so why not?!

4 Comments

Posted in Dating, Single Parents

Crazy/confusing/weird weekend

18 May

So this weekend was weird. Really weird. A reminder that this blog is a place for me to get my thoughts out, like a journal, and that those thoughts change as time goes by.

So this Saturday, Mr. V and New Roomie came to see my apartment and the storage space and brought New Roomie’s three boys to meet Pumpkinhead. Which meant Mr. V met Pumpkinhead. Apparently even though I know we discussed the fact that she was bringing the kids to meet Pumpkinhead, I needed to explicitly connect the dots for Mr. V. Either that or he was fine and New Roomie’s explanation of his reaction to things was over the top. Both she and her 12 year-old said that he was “really upset” when he found out he had to meet my kid (and my Dad). Ultimately it went just fine and I think any emotions on Mr. V’s part were due to the fact that he hadn’t shaved and wanted to be prepared in some different way. I don’t think you can really prepare for that but I know he wanted to take Pumpkinhead to a movie later this month and have that be the first meeting. I think he was putting too much pressure on it. It worked out fine. Well, sort of…

New Roomie has very little control over her kids. They race around like little maniacs and her 12 year-old talks back to her like you wouldn’t believe. After an hour’s drive with them, Mr. V was tossing around words like “vasectomy”. We went to Lowes to pick up items for the house and that is where the problems started. The kids were crazy. New Roomie wasn’t organized with a list like we had discussed and we couldn’t seem to get it together. I think we spent two hours there and got half of what we needed. Argh. Then we dragged everyone out to lunch (so the adults could get a stiff drink!) only to find that we had to wait 20 minutes for a table and then listen to the kids freak out while we waited for food. Again, as I explained to Mr. V later, their behavior was appropriate for their ages (2 and 5) and the fact that it was way past their naptimes, but it was still stressful.

The afternoon involved a lot of rain, car trouble, a soaked couch and ultimately my missing both of the events I had planned to attend because of all of those issues. But it was a good thing because just as I was about to get my groove on with Mr. V (yeah, kids have HORRIBLE timing), I got a call from New Roomie who was hosting a pizza party/sleepover for all the kids at the new house to hear that my kid was vomiting. So not only did Mr. V get to meet my child, he also got to host him for the night on his couch while he vomited every hour on the hour from 11 p.m. until 4 a.m. Thank God Mr. V had a working washer/dryer. Bleech.

It’s not as bad as it sounds. We woke up the next morning, had coffee and relaxed in front of HGTV while Pumpkinhead played with the Pug or his Nintendo. It was very pleasant and peaceful and Mr. V seemed much more relaxed than when he was with the large group of kids.

Unfortunately Sunday was a day filled with miscommunication and problems between New Roomie and Mr. V. And New Roomie apparently dragged in Old Girlfriend who started talking smack about Mr. V. New Roomie felt like it would be appropriate to share said smack with New Girlfriend because New Roomie was angry with Mr. V about a bunch of issues related to the house (which is Mr. V’s parents’ house that New Roomie is leasing). New Roomie started warning me about Mr. V and things I should watch out for, particularly related to his age and inability to adapt to new things, such as small kids. It was all very uncomfortable and I was stuck in the middle. Ultimately I told New Roomie she needs to talk to Mr. V directly about her issues with the house. And I told Mr. V that Old Girlfriend is talking smack. Then I made the mistake of re-reading his old blog entries and seeing that he called Old Girlfriend a “wow” girl, too. Hmmm…

Yesterday I was painting my new room and supposed to meet him afterwards for dinner with Pumpkinhead. However, he had my phone (charging it) so I lost track of time. I thought everything was fine. We hadn’t set a time to meet and he came over to meet me so we could go. He was teasing me and seemed fine to me. However, New Roomie said that he said several times how I was “late” and how he was upset that I hadn’t come over to wake him up at 6. I’m not sure what to believe or why he wouldn’t have just had that discussion directly with me instead of talking behind my back and then pretending all was well (not even sure that’s what happened, although both New Roomie and her son said he was really upset with me for being late). That won’t earn him points in my book. Especially when I had been up all night with a sick kid and had spent all day working my ass off to get a room in move-in condition. But then again I know him and he was probably just grumbling. If he was seriously upset, he should have told me. I don’t know…

Yeah, taking things slow, trying to believe that he is as enamored with me as I am with him. Ultimately just trying to be honest and above-board. With him. With myself. With my blog (and blog readers). I adore him. I’m happy. And I’m confused. And, as usual, taking more of the guy role in the relationship — wooing, initiating, teasing, etc. Someone once asked me if I take care of everyone else, who is taking care of me? Still not sure I have that answer… (or that I would even let someone – but I like the idea).

12 Comments

Posted in Dating, Single Parents

Moving On

10 May

God answers prayers and He answers them quickly. I was literally crying in my beer when Mr. V and two of his friends showed up at a local Mexican restaurant with some answers for me. Mr. V’s friend is renting a house from his parents, who have bought a home locally to retire to in a few years. The friend is a divorced SAHM with three children who works part-time from home but generally uses her child support to support her and the kids while she stays home. She was going to have to go back to work once she moved into the house, but is offering me a room in the house for the summer. Pumpkinhead can sleep in my room or share a room with the other six year-old (I have bunk beds to offer!) and she can watch the kids this summer, saving me a ton on childcare, while I get to know the area and find a good school for him to go to.

This offers several advantages.
1) My son gets other kids to play with, which will thrill him to no end.
2) I’m not running to a man to save me.
3) It gives me a chance to see where things go with Mr. V without pressure and decide whether I want to move to an apartment in August, stay on with his friend if it is working or do something else.
4) It helps me not get stuck in a horrible apartment situation with a year-long lease.
5) It cuts my commute CONSIDERABLY!! (Literally half the commute time I have now).
6) It gets me closer to a ton of my existing friends, which furthers my goal of spending more time with people my own age who have kids. I have a bunch of girlfriends on that side of town from my last job who I could see far more frequently if I lived over there.
7) It gives Pumpkinhead the chance to get away from Evil Forced-Meds Elementary School – grrr! The other school district is also highly rated, more diverse (which I like) and has a lot of programs for kids with special needs (both G/T and the other end of the spectrum).
It saves me serious bucks on summer childcare. I was sooooo worried about how I was going to afford summer care for Pumpkinhead and now I may actually be able to afford to send him to do some fun one-off activities. Yay!
9) The woman goes to my church so we can all go together each week. (See, God!)
10) Perhaps I can actually get all my crap out of storage.

So I am feeling much more relieved this morning.

My mother, however, is not. She came in with tea and banana bread and woke me up from a very sound sleep and snuggle with Pumpkinhead at the Ass Crack of Dawn. Grrr. After opening up Mother’s Day presents and sending Pumpkinhead into the house to play, I told her I was moving. She of course freaked out. And said that I’m going to kill my father. And that I am being very selfish and not thinking of Pumpkinhead’s needs. I bit my tongue and tried to tactfully but not nastily remind her how much she and Dad fight in front of Pumpkinhead. She doesn’t see it…

She is convinced I am doing this out of selfishness and that Pumpkinhead will be the worst for it. Pumpkinhead is excited to spend time with more kids. He loves going to his Dad’s apartment because there are kids to play with. My mother freaks out anytime Pumpkinhead wants to have the girl across the street over. Hmm… And Pumpkinhead is “messy” and “stressful” and “difficult”. Um, yeah, *I’m* the selfish one.

She may be right that this kills my Dad. He cried when I first moved in with Chapin. But you know what? I Do Not Own That. I need to make the best decision for me and my son. And I cannot continue to hang around here and let her be so unkind towards me. She said this morning that she thinks that every time you have sex with someone, you leave a little bit of your heart behind. Good thing she doesn’t know how many men I’ve actually slept with. But you know what I told her? “Mom, you never said anything when I was 18 and had my 30 year-old boyfriend over. Or when I was dating Chapin. Why not?” She said, “I don’t know…” I said, “Well you know what? Back then it may have made a difference. But now you are Too Late!” Lessons learned, I suppose.

2 Comments

Posted in Dating, Family Stuff, Single Parents

Single Parent Advice and Fun

06 May

David at Dad’s House has a great post today full of marriage advice. Yeah, hindsight gives you some good perspective…

And for fun, my friend, T, is having a Masturbation Celebration. Tell her about your hottest/riskiest masturbation moment (i.e., when you could have gotten caught) and you might win a $50 gift certificate to get some toys. Of course, I think you should buy all your toys from Babeland (starting with anything from Lelo’s awesome line of Swedish gems!)

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Posted in Dating, Divorce, Single Parents

36 Days In and the Ultimate Walk of Shame

26 Apr

Mr. V first e-mailed me on March 22. Last night, on Day 35, he took me out on our first “formal” date (i.e., dress-up event) and introduced me to some of his friends. We had a fantastic time. We went out to dinner first and he had me literally rolling with laughter. Then he took me to a local hotel where one of his friends had rented out a space for the “anniversary of his 25th birthday.” Yes, it appears that most of his friends share his quirky sense of humor. We took pictures, laughed, ate yummy cake, then made our way back to his house for, yes, a super-successful evening of “private time.” Yeah, forget earlier post.

But this morning, I had the Ultimate Walk of Shame experience. Woke up, snuggled with Mr. V for a good long time, called to check in on Pumpkinhead and arrange to meet my parents to pick him up for church. Was sitting on the couch with Mr. V when he kissed me and said, “Not to rush you out the door, but you have to meet your family in about 40 minutes.” Since he lives in BFE (i.e., the complete opposite side of town) and cannot come to me right now because he has yet to meet Pumpkinhead, he was right that I would need that time.

So I go to get dressed. Pick up the bag I brought. Ball gown? Check. Pajamas? Check. Clean underwear? You betcha. Toothbrush? Absolutely! Shirt? Yep. Pants? Um… Yeah, had to call my Dad and have a little conversation that had Mr. V almost falling off the couch he was laughing so hard. Then had to do The Walk out to my truck in PJ bottoms, lacy red underwear and a shirt. Yeah, that was fun! Having my Dad pull up and hand me pants along with my child was certainly an interesting experience in my Single Parent Dating Calamaties File.

3 Comments

Posted in Dating, Single Parents

How’s Yours?

23 Apr

My favorite hot Mama, kindred spirit and sexually direct friend, T, wrote a blog post this week about sex in marriage and what is realistic to expect now that she is in the single world. As usual, she may as well have written my thoughts out on paper.

A snippet (same for me but he initiated):

If any of you have been reading here for a while, you would probably assume that I am a very sexual person.

And you’d be assuming correctly!

So, it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise to learn that it was I who usually did the sexual instigating in my marriage. When the ex and I were dating, we had sex every single time we saw each other. If there was a rare instance that we didn’t have sex, I would go into a deep dramatic withdrawal.

I suppose I was equating sex with love and quality time.

The ex traveled ALL THE TIME so quality time was very important to me. Perhaps it is my primary love language?

Oh yes, I get this. It’s the same reason that I may be unsettled and worry and wonder about life, money, work, school, my son, my future, etc., when I’m not with someone, but when I’m spending good quality time with someone — be it my mother, Pumpkinhead, or a boyfriend, my mind suddenly clears and I feel settled and happy. I definitely think Quality Time is my primary love language.

That said, Physical Touch is probably my secondary and it ties right in with Quality Time. As T said above, “If there was a rare instance that we didn’t have sex, I would go into a deep dramatic withdrawal.” Except the part about rare instance (it was frequent and problematic), this was a major issue with Blue Eyes. And I felt it with others. When I was younger and in a long-term dating relationship. I knew the man I’d been seeing for 18 months was cheating on me because he started acting distant, turning down sex/not asking for it where before he’d been so eager. And it made me feel sooooo horrible, depressed, down on myself and generally crappy. Even before I knew the reality.

Of course Chapin was a total dog when it came to sex. Wanted it all the time, even at really horrible times like right after the birth of our child… (Mr. V told me a story tonight and called his friend an “idiot” for consenting to give her husband a BJ after she’d just given birth. While I get his POV, I can also soooooo relate to her. She probably realized it was easier to give in that to deal with her husband’s pouting, bitching or general payback).

Like T, I rarely instigated sex in my marriage. Rarely had to because he was always ready to go. Which is why now, dating really great guys like Mr. V who I connect with on every level and really adore, I feel almost obsessed and then horribly down in the dumps if things don’t go “as planned” sex-wise. And I hate, hate, hate to ask for it. But I will because I think I’m worth it and I also think you can’t get what you don’t ask for. But when I get turned down, I take it personally. The reality is that I can probably live with sex once or twice a week for the rest of my life. But it’s not the act itself so much as the desire of the other person towards me that I need. That said, I always felt like Chapin was forcing me to have sex and I resented the hell out of him. I definitely don’t want to be resented by anyone.

So tell me this: Have you dated or been married to someone with a different sex drive? Were you able to get into a rhythm (no pun intended) and work things out or did it ruin the relationship? Was the awesomeness of the person as a whole enough to get past the sexual incompatability? If you worked it out, what did you do (compromise? Talk it out? Therapy? Porn? Scheduled Sex?) to make it work for both of you? I appreciate any and all feedback (and, of course, I will take this one to my therapist, too. I really shouldn’t want to cry my eyes out every time someone says “Not in the mood tonight, but thanks anyway.” Sigh… Yep, broken girl.)

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

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Posted in Dating

Hurtling into the Abyss? or Bliss?

19 Apr

I remember the first (and last) time I went skiing. I had practiced at the bottom for hours, slipping and sliding and cracking my head on the ice every time, but getting right back up and trying again because everyone kept telling me that eventually I would get the hang of it. As the ski lift approached the top of the bunny slope for my very first run, my stomach was in knots. I was simultaneously excited to try the new adventure and also completely freaked out by the possibility of slamming into a tree. But, at 14, I decided to be brave. So I leaned really far forward like the ski instructor had taught me, lifted the bar, and went for it.* (scroll to bottom for end of that story. I’m ending the analogy here and am hopeful it will stay that way!)

That experience is akin to how I feel right now. Excited, really eager to see where this goes, ready to puke at how much I like this guy and totally freaked at the possibility of failing miserably. Last night was my first sleepover with Mr. V. Ana told me that I was going to seriously regret having put so much emphasis on this night and she was right. As great as it was to be with him, it was also awkward and weird and unusual. Circumstances were conspiring against us all day, from family issues to home repair problems to weather. So we had to change our plans at the last minute and go out to eat. Then we cuddled on the couch and watched Sex and the City which, for any of you who have not watched it, is actually pretty damn sad.

So by the time bedtime came, which was something we’d probably both been eagerly anticipating for a while, it ended up being kind of strange. I wanted to show him my skills and he probably wanted to show me his and it ended up being awkward. Felt great. Ended up working out. But there were more stops and starts than either of us had probably hoped for. Then Ms. Self-Assured bursts into tears right in the middle. WTF?!?! Mr. V said something totally innocuous and I started bawling. Seriously bawling. Talk about a mood killer. So obviously my new motto in life need to be “let go and enjoy yourself, stop planning and chill.” Because Ana was TOTALLY right.

We had an awesome night. At least I did. He is soooo hard to read. I don’t know how he feels in the morning light, really, but I think he’s still digging on me like I’m digging on him. But I spent all night having horribly vivid and psychological self-esteem-shaking dreams. And then in the daylight I am freaking Verbal Diahrrea Girl. Has anyone else done this? I like this guy so much that I cannot Shut The Fuck Up. I do the same thing when I’m nervous at work. He knows about my crazy family, all my crazy quirks, etc. What the hell is wrong with me? Maybe my inner child is trying to scare him off? It’s like I’m sitting on the outside watching myself and screaming, “Nooooo!!!!”

But here’s where the scary stuff comes in. This morning we lay in bed talking for a long time. Then he made me coffee and we cuddled on the couch for a long time. Went out to breakfast, teasing each other with fun conversation, laughing, kissing and generally enjoying each other’s company. I haven’t felt this happy ever. But the scary thing is that when we are sitting across the table from each other talking and I look into his eyes, I see babies. When we’re holding hands, I can envision us side by side in rocking chairs. And that is freaking crazy talk. Because we’ve only just started dating, he hasn’t met my kid and won’t for a while (and, of course, that would sour the deal completely if they don’t get along), and he could always start smoking again. Which is why I may never sleep again because the man is driving me insane, whether he tries to or not. And I can’t seem to just chill out and enjoy the moment, which is very, very bad. And, most of all, I have no idea what he is thinking but he knows everything that I am thinking – good, bad and ugly – because, again, I cannot shut up.

So either this is what love at first sight feels like and I am hurtling headfirst into a life of blissed-out, irritating, amazing, annoying, hysterical, fun love or this is some part of me screwing with my mind and I am going to get hurt, and bad. I have never felt like this before and I’m super-scared that my mind is playing tricks on me and that I’m forcing this guy into a relationship with me even though I feel amazingly happy and think the feeling is mutual. Sigh… Yes, I think too much. No, I can’t shut the brain off. Came home after my weekend feeling all weird and domestic. Made my son sauteed shrimp, parmesan-crusted tilapia and steamed green beans and am about to bake banana bread. Between the visions of babies and the baking, yes, PT-LawMom has indeed leapt off the deep end! And with that, scroll down to read the end of my first and last ski lift story.

* Fell off lift too soon, promptly falling about 15 feet down on my back and had to be rescued by the ski patrol and spend a few months recovering from my injured back and neck.

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Posted in Dating, Divorce, Single Parents

Healthy Relationships in Action

17 Apr

I am feeling so much stronger than I have felt in a long time. The past few months off from law school, taking control of my health, working on my self-esteem/boundary setting — all of it has just really made me feel so much better about myself. Hell, even the past year of weird dating experiences has taught me so much about who I am, what I’m willing to tolerate and what I am worth. Where I once felt confident only at work, I now feel more confident about myself as a woman. I know what I want and I feel like I deserve it. And I also know that I am starting to make friends and get involved in activities so that I can live without a man if I choose to do so.

And this year (and my marriage/divorce) has taught me that, like Mr. V, I need to have some rules of my own. And that I owe it to the people with whom I have relationships to be direct and honest about my needs AND about my feelings, good or bad. I’ve been thinking about lessons learned from the dysfunctional relationships and here they are in rule form:

1. No second chances for cheaters
2. All take and no give = no dice
3. If you can’t tell me how you feel about me, I cannot be with you
4. If you cannot also show me how you feel about me, I cannot be with you (words are empty without actions to back them up)
5. Anger can be healthy but working together to solve a problem is amazingly sexy
6. Final rule, from Mr. V. Although this two weeks of no sex thing has SUCKED, it has also given us a chance to really get to know each other and that’s a good thing. So I agree with Mr. V that anticipation and friendship first can be a great thing.

So with all this healthiness in mind, I am still really digging on Mr. V. He’s funny, smart, kind and sensible. I think he can love me the way I deserve to be loved and treat me the way I deserve to be treated. And I think he’s the kind of man I could happily grow old with knowing we would have a partnership and a give-and-take, not an unbalanced relationship. And his kisses make me lose my train of thought, which is something I haven’t been able to honestly say since I was a hormone-driven teenager!

That said, last night he told me something similar to what Blue Eyes told me when we were dating and that is that he’s not sure he can handle me. (He said I’m like the man in this relationship when he realized I had condoms in my purse and a change of underwear in my glove box. I call that preparedness….) The sexually frustrated part of me wanted to say, “Man up, little boy, and take me now.” But I listened and tried to see his perspective and understand where he was coming from. And, honestly, I do. I suppose I can be intimidating and overly aggressive, especially on the sexual stuff. But I had the same issue with Chapin. Not in bed, mind you, but more socially. I think my open, outspoken, friendly personality intimidated him. And it caused problems in our marriage because it made him uncomfortable. Blue Eyes and I had problems because we’d be sitting next to each other on the couch and I’d be thinking, “Sex, Sex, Sex” just like a man and he’d have to get enough sleep because he had to be up early for his shifts at the hospital so I’d end up feeling like a perv, not wanting to make the first move, and resentful that he didn’t want me just the way I was. Obviously there were other problems in that relationship and none of my relationships have started off feeling anywhere close to what I feel for Mr. V. Still no red flags. And I have been very, very honest, direct and open with him about my feelings, my needs, etc. Whether that backfires on me remains to be seen. It will either blow up in my face because, according to all the traditional rules, men like to be the pursuers not the pursued. Or he will recognize that I rock and that we’d be great together. Who knows? Only time will tell.

But I hope that my aggressive nature doesn’t turn him off. And that he’s able to appreciate the fact that I *can* take no for an answer (LOL) but that I appreciate a man who is willing to try. Just as I decided that fulfilling Chapin’s need for frequency was part of my marriage duties, I would like to think that a man who is with me would be creative enough to know that there are many ways to please a woman, that sometimes you can get in the mood even if you don’t think you are just by trying, and that an effort is often the most romantic thing. Still, I’m not going to worry about it because when it comes down to it, I want him. Bad. And ultimately if if he chooses to walk away, as horrible as that would be, I really do feel like I’ve grown a lot in the last year and that I now know that I can stand up for what I want and be who I am without settling. I am resolved to stick to this Healthy Relationships plan of asserting my needs in a relationship and allowing the other person to fill them. Very new for Ms. Codependency. I just hope that Mr. V can assert his needs back and allow me to fill them, too. Two givers together could be a magical combination.

5 Comments

Posted in Dating

30 Going on 13

14 Apr

While my career seems to be in high gear, my personal life seems to be in regression mode. My very first kiss (safely far off in New Jersey and in the Mormon church now) found me on Facebook, my mother, who has NEVER commented on my sex life, gave me shit after what she thought was the Walk of Shame (actually just a night of wine with Ana), and my dream guy is still taking things slow, albeit in a super-steamy way that definitely harkens back to teenage days of forbidden fruit. I’ll tell you, when I was catting around the streets of DC at 18 with my smoking hot Honduran boyfriend and leaving home for university, I never imagined that, a little over a decade later, I’d be back at home under my parents’ then-dismissive/now-watchful eyes and feeling like I should be sneaking around. Ahh, the life of a divorced single mom.

Fortunately I AM an adult now. Told Mom where she could stick her judgments (and reassured her that I am not currently doing anything about which she should worry) and am enjoying a slow but enjoyable and moving-towards-awesome pace with Mr. V. Unlike my 13 year-old self, I know what’s out there and I know that the wait is well worth it for something special.

2 Comments

Posted in Dating, Divorce, Single Parents