Mr. V(alentine) is sitting next to me on the couch rubbing my feet. Sitting here this Valentine’s weekend, happy, blessed, in love, I thought I’d expound on the reasons why he rocks.
10) He has natural parenting instincts – even though he has never had his own children, he has taken to Pumpkinhead like a duck to water and I have never, ever felt like he’s making bad choices in his parenting decisions. He helps him with home work, plays Wii, disciplines appropriately, teaches him new things, helps him to take responsibility for his actions and all without me ever having expressed a need for these things. Awesome!
9) When we fight, he listens. Sure, like every couple we have our disagreements from time-to-time. But not once have we left a disagreement still fighting. And unlike past relationships, he does not make me feel scared, intimidated or threatened. He calls me on my BS and when I call him on his, he owns it. We actually have healthy dialogues about how to solve our problems… together.
8 ) He’s a big softy. His “allergies” kick in at sappy movies, when Pumpkinhead says, “I love you, Papa {Mr. V}”, and at other cute times.
7) He’s a *man*. He loves to grill, work with his tech toys and build stuff. I love that!! He’s building me a window seat so I can cuddle up and read and he’s always thinking of great new things for the house. Reminds me of my Dad in that way.
6) He is an amazing negotiator. Mr. V owns his own graphic design business, teaches college and does a lot of real estate transactions. He rocks eBay and Craigslist finding barter deals and has improved the house tenfold since I moved in solely due to his ability to negotiate for the best possible deal and trade web design work.
5) He takes care of me. After a hard week at work, he presumes I would want to sleep in. I don’t have to mention it, ask for it, etc. He just gets up and takes care of Pumpkinhead, allowing me to get my rest.
4) He is considerate and a true partner. When he’s at the store, he calls to see if he can pick me up anything. If I ask him to drop off my drycleaning, he does it. He asks me to do things and isn’t afraid to take on an equal share. He anticipates my needs and fills them.
3) He makes me laugh. I really enjoy Mr. V’s company. We’ll be watching a show and both be thinking the same thing. He sends me funny things and his sense of humor is really similar to mine. 
2) He makes me melt. He’s strong, tall, has beautiful eyes and a great smile. He holds my hand and cuddles me close when I need comfort. When people bring up his name, the grin spreads across my face and when he calls me, I’m thoroughly distracted.
1) He’s romantic. First e-mail to me said I might just be the neatest person he’d ever have the chance to meet. Flower/candy arrangement sent to me the day before he proposed said, “Happy Halloween to the sweetest piece of eye candy.” His proposal was creative and beautiful and the man wants to take dance lessons so he can dance with me on our wedding day. Swoon!!!
Bottom line – head over heels. 
Cannot wait until 10/10/10 to start our life together!
Then she called him short (he’s 6′, which is short in our family) and agreed to watch Pumpkinhead tomorrow night while we dance the night away at a birthday party for a good friend of Mr. V. We’re going out with his sister and her fiance (yikes!) and I get to dress up and look pretty, so I guess I’d better work on that. 
(He said I’m like the man in this relationship when he realized I had condoms in my purse and a change of underwear in my glove box. I call that preparedness….) The sexually frustrated part of me wanted to say, “Man up, little boy, and take me now.” But I listened and tried to see his perspective and understand where he was coming from. And, honestly, I do. I suppose I can be intimidating and overly aggressive, especially on the sexual stuff. But I had the same issue with Chapin. Not in bed, mind you, but more socially. I think my open, outspoken, friendly personality intimidated him. And it caused problems in our marriage because it made him uncomfortable. Blue Eyes and I had problems because we’d be sitting next to each other on the couch and I’d be thinking, “Sex, Sex, Sex” just like a man and he’d have to get enough sleep because he had to be up early for his shifts at the hospital so I’d end up feeling like a perv, not wanting to make the first move, and resentful that he didn’t want me just the way I was. Obviously there were other problems in that relationship and none of my relationships have started off feeling anywhere close to what I feel for Mr. V. Still no red flags. And I have been very, very honest, direct and open with him about my feelings, my needs, etc. Whether that backfires on me remains to be seen. It will either blow up in my face because, according to all the traditional rules, men like to be the pursuers not the pursued. Or he will recognize that I rock and that we’d be great together. 
And ultimately if if he chooses to walk away, as horrible as that would be, I really do feel like I’ve grown a lot in the last year and that I now know that I can stand up for what I want and be who I am without settling. I am resolved to stick to this Healthy Relationships plan of asserting my needs in a relationship and allowing the other person to fill them. Very new for Ms. Codependency. I just hope that Mr. V can assert his needs back and allow me to fill them, too. Two givers together could be a magical combination. 
And now, my feelings in song, as usual (disregard the stalkerish Dean Cain video…. This song was never released on radio so I couldn’t find any other version).
) and then lost him to a beautiful young thing he had loved all through high school. She was thin and quiet with long brown hair, big breasts and a sweet smile. I remember how shy and uncommunicative he was during the 8 months we dated and then when he finally asked Ann out it was like he came alive. That was the first time I realized that men do have that capability but only with the right person to turn on the switch. 
by Fred Astaire or
by Michael Buble or
by Toby Keith or
by Travis Tritt. Don’t get me started. I’m a big sap. Love to dance, love romance, so anything that combines the two is good. (But I’m convinced women wrote all of those songs 
