Posts Tagged ‘Family Stuff’

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March 7th, 2010  Posted at   Engagement, Family Stuff, Mommy stuff
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Okay, okay, so apparently people think I’m lost and gone forever, abandoning the blog. :( Perhaps… Reality is just that my life is racing at warp speed and I can barely find time to breathe right now. So here’s the update:

    Health


Except for a flareup in January, my pain is being managed quite well with the Zonegran and Cymbalta. I’m trying to sleep, eat well, take my vitamins and drink plenty of water.

    Love


Purchased my wedding dress. :) Long, princess-like, with rhinestone pickups and a beautiful fitted bodice. Made me cry.

Purchased the Save the Dates in December. They are still sitting in the dining room waiting for me to have time to hand address them… Yeah. My love is sweet, considerate, amazing and Pumpkinhead adores him. I’m happy. And I think happy people blog less.

    Work


My boss just got canned. Yee-haw! Not sure if this will work out well or end up being a bad thing but more guidance and direction will be welcomed. Micro-managing not so much. We will see how it shakes out… Lots of exciting projects right now but my “promotion” and new exempt status have lead to me working 10-12-hour days routinely. I’m pretty beat but enjoying the challenges. We’ll see how it goes…

    Pumpkinhead


I took the whole week of Spring Break off only to find out that Pumpkinhead would prefer to spend that time on the truck with Chapin. Fine! ;-) Seriously, though, it is fine.

Pumpkinhead is doing amazingly well in school. His math scores are amazing, which surprises me because he is also fantastic at reading and typically people seem to only do well at one or the other. Or at least I did… Math just kills me. But he is thriving, little smartypants. The only downside is that he loves books so much that he will sneak books into bed and stay up reading. I’m getting t the point where I’m threatening to remove his bookshelves from his room. I hate that!! But he needs sleep, too. We’ve started giving him a 30-minute warning for bed and allowing him to read, then telling him “lights out.” Hopefully he will start to obey and not get lost in book world. I understand — did it myself — but I do need to be the mama.

    Family


Parents are happy in Dubai. They are returning in May for my brother’s wedding and have decided to take back the car they gave us. Then they are kicking out the people who are living there for free, have told my brother and future SIL that they cannot, in fact, move in, and are going to leave it empty until my wedding and then look into renting it out. We’ll see how that goes. Love the family drama!

That’s all for now.

February 14th, 2010  Posted at   Family Stuff
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Okay, so perhaps I should be grateful that they were even willing to let us use a car while they were out of the country. But I’ve been maintaining their house, picking up mail, doing banking, etc. My parents sent a note this morning and informed us that the banged up Subaru that they had “given” us, into which we have invested $1k+ in new tires, body work, etc., will be given to my brother in May and that I will be able to “use” their other car, which he had previously, after my Mother’s month-long tour around the U.S. with her girlfriend. In the meantime, I’ll be bussing it.

Grrr, why do my parents have to be so goddamn wishy-washy? They do this Every.Single.Time!

November 22nd, 2009  Posted at   Family Stuff
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So my mother is at it again. Sigh… She and my father have moved to the Middle East. Of course, despite a generous housing allowance, my mother chose an apartment way beyond their means. They have already had me pull $10k out of an annuity to cover the costs of furniture and other “setting up expenses.” Mind you, this is a $50k annuity and is ALL the retirement money they have, other than the house.

Oh, and they have two church friends living at the house, not paying rent. They are being nice because the guys are out of work but, um, that hardly pays the bills! They’ve had me driving down to fix things (the guys have low IQ and had issues figuring out how/where to plug in a coaxial cable…) and to pick up the mail. Mr. V finally put his foot down today and told me to get the mail forwarded here (we’re an hour’s drive from their house). Doh!

Anyway, when Mr. V and I got engaged, his mother generously offered to give us a little money towards it. I was bowled over. She asked about my parents’ contribution and I laughed. But I decided to suck it up and ask, even though I should know better based on history (remember this summer’s harassment over the borrowed money for the house sale? Grr.) They shocked me and said they’d been talking it over and wanted to give me $5k. THEN they shocked me further by saying they were going to take another $10k out of the annuity to cover taxes and leave $5k with me. I was shocked and delighted. Yeah… should have known.

Money comes and parents suddenly act dumb like they have no recollection of the conversation that took place mere days earlier. No money… They acted like I was nuts and said they understood they would have until 12 days before the wedding to give me the funds. Reassuring!

Then I’m talking to them yesterday about my brother, who is also getting married this year, and my mother mentions that they have covered an extra $1k of his wedding expenses because his bride’s parents aren’t coming up with their share. Um, pot? Kettle. And my brother? The one who drained their bank account while Mom was recovering from a heart attack? The one who beat up his girlfriend and forced my parents to pay his legal bills? The one who has had his car, student loans, etc., covered because he is a sad little diabetic and they feel guilty. Wah. And my mother spent the other $3k on an electric wheelchair. And she’s chosen not to work. Um…

After this summer, I said I would never, ever ask them for money again. Mr. V is pissed that I’m even helping them at all with their house. But if something happened to them over there and we were in a bad place, I would be really upset. Ugh. I need to grow a spine.

September 7th, 2009  Posted at   Dating, Family Stuff, Single Parents
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I’ve been in a funk lately. Working too much, too stressed, and feeling unmotivated to blog. That said, I do have some news.

My Dad finally got a job this week. But it’s in the UAE. The good news is that it’s what he wants and he is super-excited. He saw his psychiatrist before he left and will be getting set up with one overseas.

My mother will also be joining him. And, woohoo, she has FINALLY (19 years after her diagnosis with bone-on-bone arthritis) decided to have her left knee replaced. This is a good thing.

But. They are offering my brother and his fiance the chance to move down and live in their house for the next few years. For free. This concerns me for several reasons. 1) Remember my brother is the one who stole from my mother after pushing her over the edge into a heart attack less than two years ago? 2) If my parents are in the UAE, who will be here to “fix” things if something goes wrong? Oh yeah… that would be me. So part of me really hopes that future SIL says no. But the realistic part of me knows my brother will probably be down here soon. Hopefully he really is on the right path and doing better. Sigh…

I’m also reverting back to my old needy ways. Mr. V and I have fallen into a bit of a rut. You know how men do romantic things when they are dating you and then stop when they “have you.” Yep… And his backing off those things makes my silly anxious head worry about us. Which is ridiculous because I’m living in his house and I love him and I know he loves me. Why do I need constant reassurance? I think part of it is that old saying… “Why buy the cow when you’re getting the milk for free?” And part of it is his last long-term girlfriend. Also ridiculous but he lived with her for three years and then, just when she thought he was going to propose, he dumped her. Mind you, it wasn’t working and he made the right choice. But the fact that it went down that way makes me worry about what he is NOT telling me. See how my crazy mind works?

I think I’m sinking into a bit of a panic for several reasons. First, my parents leaving. We moved a ton when I was a child and they were the only constant in my life. The idea of them living so far away, while probably good because my mother is driving me nuts, is also somewhat devastating. Second, I am feeling very dependent on Mr. V and I hate that. I hate that I am so broke right now and I hate that Pumpkinhead and I will now be so dependent on him. The worrier in me feels like the bottom could drop out at any time and then what?!? Third, I’m feeling a bit of work insecurity. I’ve been the “go-to” person for so long and I tend to thrive in that role. We have two new paralegals starting in the next two weeks. One is a very experienced paralegal and the other is a friend of mine. While I definitely need the help, the crazy part of me worries about giving “my stuff” over to someone else (friend – don’t read this and worry – just venting) and having them do it faster, better and in a more impressive way. Isn’t that ridiculous?

To top it off, I am becoming a serious “girly girl”. Which is crazy because I am soooo not that way. Got married the first time in a green dress in front of a judge, went out for Mexican after and never gave it a second thought. But now I’m turning into a mushy fool, coveting the blessings of others and feeling anxious about the future when I should just relax and let things go at the proper pace. My friend, John, is shopping with his girlfriend for a ring. He and I went on one date last year and now we’re in similar spots romantically but he’s “leap years” ahead. LOL. Mr. V’s sister is getting married and all of her planning and prep makes me swoon. She wrote her vows last night. Sigh… Then my brother is getting married. Remember how I was guessing that he would have gotten her a basic Walmart special for an engagement ring? Um, no… He had his high school friend’s father custom design something gorgeous for her. Yeah… the green-eyed monster is coming out loud and proud. Bad PT-LawMom. I should have guessed. My brother broke his leg one year when he was 11 and made me trudge through the snow to give his girlfriend a rose. He’s always been a romantic.

Anyway, all of the above – parents leaving, job stress, my covetous nature combined with general insecurity and anxiety – has me not blogging and just trying to get through. I’m hopeful that I will rally and start being happy for all the blessings in my life rather than worrying so much.

Yes, someone should take me out back and shoot me.

August 22nd, 2009  Posted at   Dating, Family Stuff, Mommy stuff, Single Parents
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My brother is in town. With his fiance. I haven’t met her and I haven’t seen him for a year and a half since he angered my mother so much she had to physically send him back home (he was visiting) and, a day later, she suffered a massive heart attack. He has since been arrested and gotten probation for “smacking his bitch up”, then “found Jesus”, got a full-time job and, by all appearances, has turned his life around. We’ll see… Anyway, my son completely adores his uncle and begged to go see him Thursday night. Bugged Mr. V all day long until I got home to drive him to Mimi and Granddads and then stayed up until 10:30 when their flight was delayed. Pumpkinhead spent the night with his uncle and then swam all morning with him until my parents took him to stay with his father’s girlfriend until I could pick him up.

I still haven’t seen my brother but he promised Pumpkinhead a trip to Chuck-e-Cheese tomorrow so I’m supposed to pick him and his fiance up after church and take them back to our house so they can do the Chuck-e-Cheese trip with Pumpkinhead and swim in our newly refinished pool. Then my mother is making lamb so I get to torture Mr. V with some quality family time. LOL. With any luck there will be very little judgment and it will be peaceful and pleasant and I won’t leave wanting to physically harm either my brother or my mother. And I do actually look forward to meeting future SIL who appears to be wonderful. With any luck he has really turned his life around and will treat her right. Can’t wait to see what her ring looks like. Maybe he saved some of the $14,000 he drained from my parents’ bank account during my mother’s post-heart attack hospitalization to pay for something super-nice… Like this
Or this
Or this
Or this
Or this
Or this

But he probably went with this

In the meantime, I spent the day cleaning up the house to make it semi-presentable for guests. Mr. V is super-anal (comes from a long line of OCD housecleaners, whereas I come from a long line of clutterbugs) and has been losing his shit since we moved in because there are boxes everywhere! Fortunately I got Pumpkinhead’s room and bathroom cleaned and the kitchen, living room and dining room cleared of all clutter. Even cleaned up the kitty puke stains on the carpet (Mr. V’s nasty cat gets stress-induced hairballs… blah!) Smells halfway decent and looks much better. Now I just need a haircut so that *I* will look a bit better. ;-)

Tomorrow morning I have to meet Mr. V’s sister so we can plot and plan his 40th birthday party. Old man hits the big one on September 30 so we don’t have much time. Looking at fun cakes, fun presents and a surprise element to the party. Glad I have a partner in crime! Mr. V’s sister is also getting married this year in November so we’ve got a lot going on in the next few months. Her bridal shower is September 26 at a nearby casino and I’m thrilled that she has offered to share a room with me. I think she likes me. Woot! :-)

June 17th, 2009  Posted at   Dating, Family Stuff, Mommy stuff, Single Parents
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Sorry I have been so absent lately. Illness, moving, inability to blog from work (duh) and closing on a house sale all lend themselves to a perfect storm of non-blogging.

Work has been kicking my butt the past few weeks with competing tasks all due RIGHT NOW. My boss is out of the country and called to chew my ass out for something yesterday. Then he called back 10 minutes later to repeat himself in case I didn’t get it the first time. He was wrong; I was right. Good thing the man is a few thousand miles away right now. Grrr.

Yes, I am fully moved into the new place. Not fully unpacked but getting there. And I found roommates. Yes, roommates. I was looking for one, but I ended up with a couple and their cute 7 year-old daughter. No signs of crazy so far, woot! And the wife bakes. Danger, Will Robinson!!! The man is a general contractor and the woman is an accountant. They have just moved to town and were looking for a short-term lease while he restarts his business and they sell their house out of state. It will be very handy to have him around to help with the house repairs and to do all the icky yard work I wasn’t looking forward to handling (he’s already taken that on like a champ!) :-) Sounds crowded but so far so good. They are very laid back and nice. Their daughter and Pumpkinhead are having fun. Sure, there’s some fighting/competition but nothing the parents can’t handle. I’m also considering switching to the same daycare so I can do dropoff and they can do pickup, which would be a huge help for me.

Speaking of daycare… GRR. Chapin wanted me to use the wife of one of his coworkers. She wants $125/week (actually she wanted $150). She reports to Chapin on EVERYTHING and then I get a call. For example, as soon as I drop off, I get a call asking why I dropped him off so early/late. Or why he wasn’t wearing socks (he refused and I finally stopped fighting). Or why he was in a grouchy mood. For Pete’s Sake!!!! I’m about ready to throttle Chapin.

Closing on the house sale didn’t help. I had to take $6,100 to closing. Yep. No help from Chapin. No discount from the real estate agent who has now received THREE commissions from us in the past three years (purchase, rental and now sale). I’m totally tapped out. Argh.

On a sad note, Shirley the Cool Cat is missing. :( She has a new collar with her name, number and address so I’m hoping she will show up. But it’s two days and counting. I am so sad. Pumpkinhead has also started to ask for her. I am praying nothing bad has happened to her. Oh boy.

This weekend I have to go down to my parents’ house and clean up. They have been calling regularly to find out when I will be doing so. Lovely… I told them this weekend because I’m going to see Blue Eyes on Saturday morning to pick up a bed I’d given him and a washer/dryer set he said I could have (no, not weird – this all came about when I went to pick up the chainsaw and weed whacker I’d left in his garage. And he still owes me money. And we’re both in good/happy places in our lives right now so all is good.)

Speaking which, have I mentioned that I love Mr. V? ;-) Oh yeah!! I’ll love him even more if he follows through and gets me some of these. Tee-hee.

June 2nd, 2009  Posted at   Dating, Family Stuff, Mommy stuff, Single Parents
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I am living in it. Grrr. My mother is driving me crazy. She is refusing to help me bathe Pumpkinhead one minute so I can work on the mountains of stuff I brought home from work and begging for hugs the next. She has apparently also decided that EVERYTHING in her house MUST go. She does not want any of Pumpkinhead’s toys or books here. She says 45 minutes around the beltway is just too far and she will never see him. Umm… okay. She said she won’t drive that far. I told her we’d come see her and she said, “No, I have things to do. You’ll need to call first.” Okay…

In the meantime, my Dad is still looking for work. There’s talk of assignments in exotic Nigeria (4-5 weeks on/4-5 weeks off), South Africa, Spain, etc. We will see… Hard to know with him and his mental illness what is an actual lead and what is him spinning a possibility into an exaggerated reality.

Crazy Roomie has finally moved completely out. But she has not cleaned. And the house is a disaster. She was in there for TEN DAYS. Red soda stains on the carpet. Kitty litter all over the floor in the bathroom and hallway. Her kids’ pee and poo all over the toilet seats and floor in both bathrooms. :evil: Seriously gross. The stained carpet is horrible and will require professional cleaning. Mr. V is also going to hire a service to deep clean the house. Nasty! First he and roomie are doing a walk-through today before she gives him back the keys (and he races to change the locks). We’ll see if she shows even a twinge of shame as she surveys her mess. Ick.

Then there is Big Ass Truck. Bitch (and I don’t use that word lightly) left pink nailpolish all over the front seat and inside the middle console. Then she ripped the leather on the middle console and left the backseat littered with popcorn, french fries, sticky soda, etc. Grrrrr. BITCH!!!! :evil:
Nailpolish
Photobucket

Pumpkinhead finishes school on Friday and then I need to start moving the rest of my stuff out. Want to paint his room and the kitchen before I get too settled so I have a LOT to tackle this weekend!!

May 21st, 2009  Posted at   Law School
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My favorite great aunt passed away today. She was 95, spunky, sassy and generally amazing. My grandfather’s oldest sister, she lived alone for years in the same house since her husband died early in their marriage. They never had children. She worked her whole life, including three days a week at a dental office until about 18 months ago. Last fall she lost her home in Hurricane Ike and has gone downhill since then. Today she fell and broke her hip. They had stabilized her and were transferring her to a room when she went into cardiac arrest and passed away after 20 minutes.

Gosh this is a hard day. I miss my grandparents so much right now. :(

Photobucket Photobucket

May 16th, 2009  Posted at   Dating, Family Stuff, Mommy stuff
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Mr. V and Roomie are on their way to my side of town. We’re going to scope out my super-full storage unit to see what Roomie wants in the house and what we can move to the garage and then we’re off to Home Depot to pick up some things for the house. Sunday will be painting day as we try to clean up the walls in preparation for the move.

Tonight I’m off to help a friend celebrate her graduation and then I have book club at Ana’s house. Yay!

May 15th, 2009  Posted at   Family Stuff, Mommy stuff, Women in Law
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This has been an incredibly long week. Early morning and late night meetings. Saw the new house with my new roommate. Ugh, the moving process SUCKS. We are going to spend all day Sunday painting to try to get it livable. And I’ve swapped vehicles with her because she already lives over there and can more easily start moving herself and her children whereas I have to stay here until Pumpkinhead’s school semester finishes.

My father lied. :roll: He was laid off. :evil: The foreign options were one of several assignments a contracting agency had open but nothing certain for him. As of last night, my mother said he may have found something. Not sure where, not sure if temp or perm. I’ll believe it when I see it. Trying not to stress and to remember that I do not own this. I cannot fix it. I have no way to put my parents on my medical insurance, which is my biggest concern. So I will let them deal with it and move on.

In the meantime, both mother and ex-husband are doing the passive-aggressive sabotage thing, trying to convince me that my son will be DEVASTATED if we move. Oh, the drama! :shock: I am moving. The amount of drama in my parents’ house is untenable. And he and I need some alone time, which we don’t get with my mother second-guessing every parenting move I make. So we are definitely moving. I had a long cuddle with him this morning and talked to him. He’s only worried about sharing his computer and about whether his toys will survive the move. I reassured him and he started smiling again. Of course. He is five, people! That said, I think it is time for some therapy and I’m going to look into it for him once we’re settled across town. I will be so much closer to work. It was exceptionally difficult to do anything for Pumpkinhead medically over the past year because my work is a full hour away from home and none of the doctors seem to work before 9 or after 4. Ugh. And they want to see him every week.

Well I need to throw some clothes on and head off to work. I have yet another early morning WebEx training with a VP followed by a long day of competing projects, all of which my boss wants NOW and none of which will be done when he wants them because everyone else keeps calling or raising new and urgent projects. Sigh… Love my job but this week has been super rough. (On the plus side, I signed up for some professional development next week and will be spending Thursday morning at a seminar just for me!)

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