PT-LawMom

So Chapin comes out of the shower last night and gives me a sheepish look. “Um, honey, I have something to tell you.” So I’m thinking, “Uh oh, what did he do?” He walks closer and says, “There was this guy outside cutting the neighbors lawn and, well, it’s getting hot and Sunday is my only day off work…” I think he thought I was going to be mad that he offered the guy $20/week to cut the lawn for him. He’s so funny - he actually said “I talked him into $20″ and I had to tell him that every guy out there charges $20. He was like, “Yeah, but I went over it with him and made sure he knows to get every corner!” I gave Chapin a kiss and said, “Babe, you’re talking to the happy woman who has a team of housecleaners tackling my bathrooms every two weeks! You want to use part of your paycheck to cover your chores, you’ve got it.” (Says she who now has to add “Put $20 under the mat” to my already packed Thursday reminder list which includes “Remember weekly slip ‘n’ slide day supplies for Pumpkinhead.”)

Massachusetts yesterday defeated the proposed constitutional amendment to restrict marriage to male/female unions. This is great news for several good friends of me and my family who live up there and have been in committed, faithful relationships for just as long as my parents’ 30-year marriage. They fight like old married couples, worship together, perform community work together, etc. Good for the legislators in Massachusetts who see that it’s a good thing when any couple chooses to be in a loving, stable, long-term relationship with the benefits the state provides.

Marriage isn’t easy. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Chapin and I will be married seven years this summer and I can honestly say that I love him more with every year.

Having our son has been a bit of a test because we have cultural differences to deal with as we choose how to raise him. On the other hand, Chapin is the eldest of several siblings and has great experience helping to raise his brothers and sisters, so that comes in handy. His culture is also very family-centric and their co-sleeping, crunchy views on parenting appeal to me.

I’ve been thinking about my marriage lately. No one ever seems to talk about their own marriage hard times — those times they want to wring their partner’s neck and run out the door screaming. I’m beginning to think this is more normal than I know. The past year or so have offered up several of those times and have been the most challenging of our marriage so far. Then we experienced a death in the family early in 2007 and, boy, did Chapin come through for me and my relatives. Today we received word of another major family crisis and he’s there again. So today, on the cusp of four taxing years of law school, I am writing this blog post to remind myself how much I love my husband.

Chapin Pros:

Good father
Loves me just the way I am
Romantic
Giving
Makes me laugh all the time
Jealous in a way that drives me nuts but also reminds me how special he thinks I am
Kind
Supportive
Values family
Wicked strong work ethic
Intelligent

Chapin Cons:

Temper
Jealous
Jokes around too much
Loves to cook oily, greasy, fatty food!
Doesn’t immediately see the need for things I value (good school district, extracurricular activities, etc.) that he wasn’t raised with

He’s working really hard on the cons and I’m working on mine (snippy, defensive, critical, etc.) So as much as he drives me nuts, I want to remember forever what a sweet, kind, special man he is and how well we complete each other. Whenever I’m ready to throttle him, he reminds me that we are very much alike and that sometimes he just wants to throttle me too.