PT-LawMom

Another week ahead. I’m hoping that good things will happen. I’ve requested a meeting with HR tomorrow to discuss some unpleasantness, so please wish me luck. I also have some other meetings with people around town on my lunch hours that I’m hoping will be productive since certain avenues I’d hoped to explore at work now appear to be shut not only to me but to any candidate for the time being. One of my close friends “resigned” her position last week so I’m a bit scared to speak to HR, but I also know that I can’t ignore these problems. Keep everything crossed for me and sorry for the lack of detail.

Today was an oddly unproductive day. Fought long and hard with Chapin this morning, even using the “D” word (we rarely do that — a month’s stress rearing it’s ugly head), then took Pumpkinhead out for “family time” to make up for being bad, screaming parents in front of him. Came home and took a two-hour nap to try to get rid of the headache that wouldn’t quit. Then my Dad came by to tell me my brother has lost yet another job and needs help finding a new one (in another faraway city) and couldn’t I spare some time to help him.

Tried to read for class but decided my head was in better shape to work on research for a paper instead. Now I’m off to bathe Pumpkinhead and get him to bed. Last night he decided it would be fun to make an “experiment” so he poured an entire brand new bottle of bubble bath and 2/3 of a bottle of shampoo over his rubber ducky and other toys inside a bath bucket.

Apparently a leading Harvard economics grad student has published a research paper about the effect of women in the workforce on their husbands’ health. The results are not good. My response? The kind of man whose blood pressure rises because he can’t deal with the fact that I’m working, whose cholesterol rises because he can’t learn how to prepare himself a healthy meal without “little wifey” to help, and whose “household-level stress” increases because he has a hard time raising his own kids is NOT the kind of man to whom I’d want to be married. Get the hell over it, men. Not only are women working, but many of us are both successful and outpacing you in the labor market. There may be a pay discrepancy between us and our counterparts at work, but often there is even more of a discrepancy (with us in the majority) between our pay and yours. Step up, help with the kids and the household work, and get over yourselves!

Work — Well, I finished my cover letter, resume updates and edits to my writing sample. I have copies of two excellent letters of recommendation and I’m praying that I can win over the paralegal manager tomorrow. Then my only hurdle is hoping that the attorneys like me (I’m worried the whole law school thing might freak them out — the potential for someone to be unavailable is always worse than the reality) and that they won’t be scared to “steal me” from my boss. So we’ll see how that goes.

Health — I don’t even want to say it, but the pain is coming back. After six weeks of blissful highs on the Cymbalta, the past week has had my legs and feet tingling and burning pretty much constantly. I’m really bummed, but my research suggests that this is somewhat common and that they may just have to raise the dose. I don’t want to take pain meds and I do want the peripheral neuropathy to go away, but they say they can’t cure it and if the only remedy is to be on ever-increasing doses of Cymbalta (the anti-Bow-Chicka-Bow-Wow medication), I’m not sure if that’s a great future. Chapin says he can be patient. I’m worried that I’ll end up on a bazillion mgs of Cymbalta combined with another bazillion of whatever they can give you to put the Bow-Chicka back in your Bow-Wow (assuming there is such a thing for women…). What ticks me off most of all is that I called the neurologist first thing Friday morning and again at 4 p.m. to give my cell in case she called after 5 and I got NO CALL BACK! I can see how seriously she is taking this. Meanwhile I’m wigging out a bit at the fact that I can’t feel my toes and that I keep tripping on things. At least I’m not in as much pain as I was a few months ago, but the electric zaps from my knees down are weird, weird, weird!

Law School — I printed out all of my notes from each class today in an attempt to get my outlines into shape and to have a sense of what areas I need to read more about. My boss is out several days this week so hopefully I’ll get to actually take my lunch hours and use them to work on my outlines and extra reading.

Pumpkinhead — We went to see the Bee Movie yesterday. It was okay, but I didn’t think it was as funny as everyone said it would be. Then again, I don’t have the greatest sense of humor so don’t go by me. Then we got this need Golden Storybooks coloring book. It lets Pumpkinhead color the pages and then we read the book together. I helped him color some roosters and other farm animals and it was a lot of fun. Today he helped Chapin wash the Big Ass Truck while I worked on my packet for the paralegal job. Now it’s dark out and I really need to get working on my reading for this week! Pumpkinhead is laying on my bed drinking a raspberry/banana/yogurt smoothie (please don’t spill!!!) and watching Tom & Jerry.

Hope everyone has a great week and that the new month brings only good things for all of us!

I have so much reading to do for this week. I’ve gotten through two nights worth but it’s almost 7 p.m. and I still have two more nights worth to read. Bleech. Problem is that the last two weeks have been insane and this week is going to be the worst. A new policy has been instituted at work that changes the way we complete certain tasks and one of them is going to take up all my time this week (and possibly next week) to the point where I may have to work through lunch and possibly even bring work home. Sigh… Hope not!

I cannot believe October is almost over! The past few months have just flown by. This weekend has been great. Chapin stayed home yesterday and we got a lot done around the house, then went out today and got him an expensive new toy (read: BIG ASS TRUCK) he has been begging for pretty much since we got married 7 years ago. He’s a happy, happy man. Not sure how happy our bank account will be once we see how much a tank of gas will cost us, but hopefully it won’t break us. Pumpkinhead has had a blast driving around today and then jumping/dancing in the back of it. He was also really excited because a neighborhood cat came over to play with him and was still outside two hours later when we left to go show off the car to my parents.

Anyway, I have about 10 million things on my plate in the coming weeks (cleaning my home office is definitely going to have to wait until Christmas break because a) it’s a wicked mess and b) I really need to get some bookshelves for my stacks and stacks of law books). Seems like every Saturday is booked with one thing or the other and I know time is just going to fly. I cannot believe that this time last year I was complaining about how I had to wait to hear which law school would accept me and then wait a whole 6 months to actually start attending. I guess the busier you are, the less you notice the days and weeks passing by.

In health news, the Cymbalta continues to work. I have been having some continued pain/numbness/tingling in my legs, especially when I cross them or push the backs of my knees against a chair, but I’m trying to avoid that and it’s not constant like it was before. Hopefully it won’t return because I’d like to stay on the lower dose rather than upping to the 60mg. There are some side effects that I’d rather not magnify, but overall I feel 10,000 times better!

Enough procrastinating; I’m off to read some more before the time comes to watch Desperate Housewives (the one show I try catch live and not DVR if Pumpkinhead’s bedtime routine doesn’t delay me).

You can read the latest update here. I am literally shaking at the injustice of this. One hour a week visitation for the parents of a 12 week-old with NO criminal charges pending? What the FUCK!?!? The baby had no bruises, no signs of resisting his parents, no evidence other than the broken ribs of any kind of trauma. What kind of fucked up system tells parents there will be no criminal charges filed and then turns around and disregards the case law pattern (believe me, I’ve researched) of placing children with relatives or having a safety plan and instead removes the child and allows parents only one hour a WEEK to see him? Man, if I was anywhere near where they live right now, I’d be down at the local DCFS office or the tv station with picket signs demanding his release. Grrr.

It was a good week. Feeling on top of my game now.

1) Health — Feeling really good. Actually did some exercise yesterday, which is definitely needed after a few months of feeling horrible and gaining some. Pumpkinhead and I did the Race for the Cure and then I did some weightlifting in the afternoon. Saw the neurologist on Thursday. She said that she would have either put me on Cymbalta or another drug that makes you a bit more sleepy, so I’m glad we went with Cymbalta. She upped my injection cycles, but didn’t have any other medications to put me on to stop further damage. Just said not to cross my legs or put the back of my knees against chairs because a lot of the damage is to the nerves in my legs and pressing that nerve under the knee causes more problems. Weird!

2) Pumpkinhead — we had a blast at the race yesterday. He got several medals and got to try a new Yoplait yogurt tube that fizzes on your tongue. Then we met up with my mother for lunch. In the afternoon, we had a parent/teacher conference that Chapin actually got home in time to attend. Pumpkinhead’s teacher said he’s wicked smart, loves to write and read (duh!) and just needs to work on coloring inside the lines. As someone who is completely artistically impaired, I’m not certain he’ll ever master that since I didn’t. Can’t even draw a straight line freehand! And don’t get me started on math…

3) Chapin — This morning we made breakfast and lay on the couch watching Wild Hogs. It was really funny! Now I’m upstairs in my office getting ready to study for a few hours and Chapin’s on Pumpkinhead duty. My work gave us free concert tickets for tonight at 8 p.m. and we’re taking Pumpkinhead with us (crazy!), so I told Chapin to try to get him to nap this afternoon. Fortunately my firm has a box suite at the arena with a couch, so Pumpkinhead can lay down if necessary. The suite also has a desk with a laptop, so I can always bring DVDs for him to watch and paper/colored pencils for him to draw. My Mom hasn’t been feeling great lately so I don’t want to ask her to watch him and my cousin, who watches Pumpkinhead Mondays and Wednesdays, has a soccer tournament today so she’s not really up for it. It’ll be a late night but, hey, this particular concert costs $55 minimum for each ticket and we get to go relax in a comfy suite. Free is free!

4) Law School — Apparently my professors took me seriously when I said I was feeling better and that they could start calling on me again (I didn’t say anything at first, but when the docs upped me from Darvocet to Vicodin, I was really worried they’d call on me and I’d look like a fool so I went to the dean with a doctors note and was told to tell the professors directly. Can’t tell you how embarrassing that was!) Anyway, they both called on me this week. Fortunately I had done my reading and knew what I was talking about. I did say one thing that got the class laughing and I couldn’t figure out why until, later, I realized it was a cultural thing. I was saying that people don’t typically do something, unaware that people do it A LOT where I currently live. So sheltered! Sorry that’s a bit vague, but more specifics would ruin the whole semi-anonymous thing. Suffice it to say, I looked like a bit of a dipstick to those who’ve lived here their whole lives. Sigh…

5) Background checks — In my state, as I mentioned before, you have to notify the state of your intention to take the bar in a few years so that they can start checking your background. When I moved to my current state, I took a job with a local firm working for a senior partner and two associates. For a variety of reasons, it was a really bad fit and I left the job after three months to go to another firm in town, where I’ve been for almost two years now. The firm administrator at the old place was pretty upset with the firm administrator at the new place for what I think she saw as poaching me, although I did tell her that the fit wasn’t good. What I didn’t realize was that the same day I quit, they fired another secretary in a practice area where I would have been a perfect fit. Still, I think that everything happens for a reason and I’m very happy in my current job. ANYWAY, the firm administrator from the old job called the firm administrator from the new job last week with kind of a “WTH? Is [PT-LawMom] a lawyer now?” Apparently the bar moves fast to send those background check forms out. What I didn’t realize was that, although I’d talked to my partners and my direct supervisor, somehow the firm administrator (who hired me and has been very kind to me) did not know I was in law school. As you can imagine, that made for an interesting conversation. I think she’s okay with it, but I felt bad that she was kind of blindsided that way. And compensation reviews are upcoming so I hope the fact that I might leave the firm in a few years won’t negatively impact my financial future with them now.

Chapin keeps coming up and trying to shut my laptop, “Study woman!” Guess I need to listen.

It’s Tuesday; back to the grindstone.

Anniversary trip: Chapin and I had a lovely, romantic night away. We managed to work around the pain (thanks to the help of a good bottle of Merlot). We went to a really hip restaurant (well, it’s hip if you get there late at night; not so much at 5:30 p.m….) The food was awesome and the high-back booth very romantic. We really had a chance to talk about our life together and future plans. It was heavenly. Oh, and Bourne Ultimatum was great!! If you haven’t seen it yet, I’d suggest sitting as far in the back as you can because the director has camera shots from right inside the action so sitting closer might make you a bit nauseated.

Pumpkinhead had an awesome time with my parents and slept through the night with no problem. We took his Spiderman nightlight to shoot webs all over the dark ceiling. My mother said that he was laying horizontally across the bed at one point and their Shih Tzu went and pushed him back to the right position and then curled up next to him. Pumpkinhead threw his arm across the dog and that’s how they stayed for the rest of the night. Cute!

Health update: well, it’s not as much pain relief as I was hoping for, but I can see a difference. The doctor gave me my steroid shot on Friday and then sent me home with a 3-month supply of 15mg of Prednisone (apparently I can look forward to severe weight gain, moon face and rounded shoulders from this). I chose not to take it Saturday or Sunday because you can only take it first thing in the morning and I wanted to drink Saturday night and enjoy my day on Sunday. I started yesterday instead, so perhaps I would be feeling better if I’d started sooner. Yesterday I was really hot (side effect) and did okay in the morning but was in a lot of pain in the afternoon. The good news is that this morning I’m not nearly as stiff as I was last week so I think it’s working. My toes and ankles hurt, but I’ve been up for about 90 minutes and my fingers are letting me type, so that’s a really good sign.

Law school update: One of my classes this semester is Criminal Law. Did anyone else not find this difficult, at least at first? It may be because I took Criminal Law in undergrad (not that I remember much — I took it my last semester and got pregnant a few weeks in). The reading seems fairly easy and the terms make a lot of sense. Yay. That is good because my other class is a bit harder and has a lot more reading/technical language.

Work update: Today is performance review day at work — well, at least I think so. They were due on the 1st and my main partner still hadn’t completed his. He usually goes over his with me so I’m expecting that today. I’m good at my job but these medical issues have had me away from the office lately and I’m worried how that will impact me. My newer partner is hard to read and my associate is on her way out so who knows what she’ll do. Wish me luck.

Well first off, I found a new service provider on Friday who pretty much fixed what the old one had wrecked. Yay! So needless to say my spirits were much higher by our Saturday anniversary night when Chapin got home from work. I made him his favorite dinner and we had strawberries and cream on angel food cake for dessert. I put Pumpkinhead to bed and then Chapin and I had a little alone time before he crashed at 10 p.m. (looonnngg day at work!). Today we went to see Ratatouille with Pumpkinhead and had a great time (it was funny!).

I also picked up my MacBook from Apple’s Genius Bar (it kept telling me to restart and it’s one of the newer generation so the old patch reported online wouldn’t fix it) and spent 20 minutes speed-shopping at Talbots. For those of you who have kids, you know the phenomenon. When you get an hour free to run errands without them, you learn to do things fast!! I think I tried on 30 pieces of clothing in 15 minutes. Fortunately/unfortunately many of them fit and looked great so I went a little spending crazy. It’s their bi-annual sale and I typically hate to shop so it was get-the-good-stuff–in-several-colors time. I drove to the mall, shopped at Talbot’s, picked up my MacBook in the middle of the iPhone rush at the Apple store and still made it home in 70 minutes!! Now I’m up in my office studying and ready for another week of school.

I’ve been very fortunate so far. Even though I had to miss one of each of my classes, a good handful of classmates e-mailed me to a) inquire about my well-being and b) send me their notes. I felt so lucky! I also realized that many of them are taking notes on every thing the professor says while mine are more sparse because I typically just fill in my outline/case briefs and perhaps take a half-page of notes on random things to slot into my outline later. There are pluses/minuses to both approaches but it doesn’t make me the best candidate to reciprocate the favor, for which I feel a bit bad. One of the classmates who e-mailed me his notes asked me to send him mine for one day a few weeks back and I ended up having to spend a good 45 minutes filling in info from my outline and brief notes to make them more complete.

Sorry for the four-post day and the generally downer themes. Here’s my last depressing post of the day. It’s my wedding anniversary on Saturday. Chapin and I will have been married seven years! We had a whole romantic weekend away planned, a first in four years of having a child! Pumpkinhead has never spent the night away from us before. Unfortunately, due to the aforementioned bad service provider, I am stuck at home dealing with the mess the provider made and we’re having to postpone our weekend. I’ve also missed two classes and am really behind on this week’s material. Guess this is the part that makes it hard. I can handle law school and work, but throw any monkey wrenches into my careful plan and it all goes haywire.

So Chapin comes out of the shower last night and gives me a sheepish look. “Um, honey, I have something to tell you.” So I’m thinking, “Uh oh, what did he do?” He walks closer and says, “There was this guy outside cutting the neighbors lawn and, well, it’s getting hot and Sunday is my only day off work…” I think he thought I was going to be mad that he offered the guy $20/week to cut the lawn for him. He’s so funny - he actually said “I talked him into $20″ and I had to tell him that every guy out there charges $20. He was like, “Yeah, but I went over it with him and made sure he knows to get every corner!” I gave Chapin a kiss and said, “Babe, you’re talking to the happy woman who has a team of housecleaners tackling my bathrooms every two weeks! You want to use part of your paycheck to cover your chores, you’ve got it.” (Says she who now has to add “Put $20 under the mat” to my already packed Thursday reminder list which includes “Remember weekly slip ‘n’ slide day supplies for Pumpkinhead.”)