PT-LawMom

is her nanny, as I’ve recently discovered. Mine started this week and I LOVE her. She has organized my cabinets, cleaned out my drawers (even my bedside drawer ), done the laundry and made dinner for Pumpkinhead and then had something else waiting for Chapin and I each night! She makes Pumpkinhead a healthy breakfast and then takes him to school at 8:30 and picks him up at 3:30, much more reasonable hours than before when I was dropping him off at 7 and he was getting picked up at 6:30 by whoever happened to be able to get him that night.

If I love her this much while I’m on break, imagine how much I’ll adore her once I’m back in school four nights a week until 9 p.m. You should see my pantry and my fridge! Pumpkinhead’s toy room! Seriously, I am in over-organized heaven. She’s promised not to touch my home office with all my school stuff, although now I wonder if maybe I should let her…

How can I afford a nanny you ask? Well, I got really, really, REALLY lucky. I found a single mom who needed a place to stay for her and her two daughters (8 and 10 - soooo sweet and well-mannered). She and the kids are living with us and we’re paying for food, utilities, TV, Internet, gas, car insurance, etc., in exchange for her babysitting/cooking/housekeeping services. She gets child support and during the year she will most likely take on a part-time job while the kids are in school. We’re paying her during the summer to watch Pumpkinhead and have bought YMCA and Zoo memberships so that she can keep all three kids occupied while they are out of school. She’s even going to take Pumpkinhead to swimming lessons and we’re hoping to sign him up for karate or music classes as well. Hopefully it will continue to go as well as this first week.

Totally stealing this one from 2L Wannabe (great idea!):

Things I do too much of in Law School:
Surf the web
Spend money due to lack of time or preparation (forget lunch/dinner or don’t have time to shop so buy online)
Worry
Read blogs
Drink coffee
Wonder why I’m inflicting this hell on myself
Get irritated with my fellow students (in my head)
Feel intimidated by my fellow students (in my head)
Stare at the pages of my casebooks, lost, uncomprehending, give up and walk away

Things I am ignoring, at the moment, and generally, since starting law school:
Cleaning the house
Keeping a schedule
Reading
Staying in touch with friends (kills me because I am usually really on top of that)
E-mailing
The speed limit (which reminds me that the 90 days the court allows for ticket-canceling defensive driving for the last ticket I got are almost up! )
My budget
Church
The news
The weather (won’t tell you how many time Pumpkinhead or I have gone out dressed inappropriately for the day!)
Family conflict that needs to be resolved

Things I am kinda proud of keeping in balance:
Putting my son to bed each night (bath, books, prayers) and driving him to school each morning
Time with my husband (we at least try to talk on the phone every day and spend at least 30 minutes of alone time together face-to-face each night). Doesn’t sound like much but I know couples who fly through their week and barely see each other at all.
Time with my parents
Making it to church occasionally
Work! I am sooooo on top of things right now - yay.

Things I hope I get better at next year:
Even more organized study time
Better health, off the dopey meds, to help with the above
Exercise plan (and a place for it to fit in the schedule)
Understanding the shit I am supposedly reading
Juggling! Hopefully the live-in person we’re trying to get will help make all of that 10,000 times easier. Hopefully we can find someone!!!
More sleep, somehow (maybe I need to hire someone to do that as well).

Work continues to go very well. Lots of projects heating up and my business cards are on their way - yippee!!!

School is getting crazy busy as well. My new commute is actually faster even though I’m further away, which is just nuts. So far, so good. I’ve been very busy the past two weeks working on a large paper for one of my classes. I also need to get moving on practice tests for my other class so I have a shot at passing my main substantive class.

I did take time out last night for a rousing game of Chutes and Ladders with Pumpkinhead. Fortunately the ladder at #81 shot him to the top and he beat me in no time!

On a low note, my pain has not resolved with the additional medication. But I did hear back from my PCP and she said that she thinks she knows why. For those RNY readers who care about these detailed health updates, my Ferritin (serum iron) level has dropped from 8 last August to 4 now. My B12 is also in the basement despite weekly shots. Last time the Ferritin was that low, I had to undergo 10 weeks of IV iron infusions at the local cancer center. This time I really can’t afford to take time off work, plus my health insurance ends on Tuesday. Soooo…. Looks like we’re going to try upping the Ferrous Gluconate pill to twice daily with 1,000mg of chewable Vitamin C for a month until my health insurance kicks in May 1. I’m also going to try to add in a sublingual B12 and switch to twice-weekly B12 shots. Bleech. On the plus side, my Vitamin D levels have come up with the addition of the Dry D3.

As much pain as I’m in, I have kept to my resolve not to let anyone at work know. Thank God for an office with a door I can close and a boss who works on another floor! Fortunately I’m doing a lot of reading and reviewing documents right now (not a lot of writing) and I am also not having to run around much because my legs are killing me. I’m also working on meditation and “staying in the now”, as my psychologist says, so that I can stay positive and not dwell on the pain and feel like it will never go away or will keep returning (like it has every 6-8 weeks for the past 9 months). I am also considering seeing a naturopath and trying some different treatments.

Okay, off to study. We’re going to the zoo this afternoon. Chapin took the day off to hang out with us and have some family time so I told him I would spend a few hours on concentrated studying this morning and then we’d have a family day. Yay.

Have you read these stories about elderly people who go into care facilities or lose a spouse and start receiving in-home care and then get abused by the very people who are entrusted with their care? I’m not talking about physical or sexual abuse, which is bad enough, but about identity theft, which is far more insidious and apparently much, much more difficult to straighten out because most of the burden is on the victim and it is so hard to prove. In the case of the elderly, who often do not have the necessary paperwork in place to let others speak on their behalf in financial matters, it can be even more complicated to handle these things.

When one of my parents was rushed to the hospital recently, I made sure to get their wallet out of the hospital that first night before there was any alone time with anyone who might be able to swipe information. I don’t know why that occurred to me. It could be because I heard a horrible story when I was volunteering at a recent pro bono legal clinic or because a coworker had his checks stolen and used for several months in small amounts before he realized it was happening. But ultimately my parent was glad to have the info safe and sound at home.

Little did we know that home is not always a safe place. This week, in the midst of other stressful events with my family and continuing recovery for my parent, they found out that a large amount (almost 5 figures) was missing from their bank account. For a variety of reasons, my ill parent had to be the one to deal with the bank this week and just thought it was a case of some stranger stealing from them. What we could never have expected… what no one would have imagined… is that we would find out that it was a close family member who took the info knowing that 1) my grandparents died last year and passed on inheritance so, for the first time, there’s actually that kind of money in the bank (although, fortunately, most is invested) and 2) because my parents were both stressed and one was ill, they probably wouldn’t notice right away.

What is most shocking about this, and the reason I’m telling the tale, is that this family member lives in another state and was still able to do this. The bank never called until my parent noticed the missing funds! After receiving the debit card info by phone from my parent to pay for something small, he somehow found someone shady to help him make a new debit card with a the info and a fake name that he could use to rack up almost $10k in charges on things like jewelry and other similarly trivial, unnecessary items. I don’t know what my parents will do about this because I think the remedies are either prosecution or payment of the missing amount. I seriously doubt they will go the prosecution route due to the close relationship with this family member, even though this is such a horrible violation of trust.

Talk to your parents about protecting themselves. Encourage them not to give their debit card info out over the phone. What my parents found out is that they would have been much more protected had they used a credit card and, if the goal was to avoid racking up debt, just paid the credit card company immediately. The bank told them they can get a bank credit card, use that, and immediately transfer money from their checking account to the credit card to cover large or small purchases. In addition, the bank also encourages people to use online banking instead of paper checks. It is just too easy for people to use your routing/account number to steal from you and it takes several billing cycles to get that money back. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I couldn’t afford that kind of hit. Protect yourselves and protect your family members. Hopefully unlike our case it won’t be your own family doing this to you.

Okay, that last post was a bit melodramatic (yep, if you didn’t know it by now, my true calling is to be a soap opera writer). It really has been a sucky ass, crappy, horrible, can’t-even-tell-you-how-bad week. But I’m going to think positive and believe that things can only get better from here on out. There is a lot to be thankful for. First, the crisis has passed. Second, I may be well on my way to health answers (this new neurologist is awesome!) Third, there are some things getting ironed out at school that may make my life a lot easier. Fourth, these accommodations (assuming the school’s medical review team approves them), will really help me out a lot. Fifth, after my boss sank to an all-time low this week, I went to my supervisor and she talked to him and I believe that things are going to be a bit better (at least until the paralegal hiring freeze ends and I can move up!) So here’s my better post, trying to focus on the positive.

I was hit with a major, earth-tilting crisis with a family member this week that brought me to my knees and almost broke me. When I was literally at the point when I did not think I could take another stressful issue piled on top of work, school, Pumpkinhead, Chapin, and my crappy health, life dealt my family a major blow we could not have imagined. It made me put everything immediately on hold, including canceling a contract cite-checking project with almost no notice other than a hastily typed e-mail, 72 hours away from Pumpkinhead (hasn’t happened since he was born), missing the first few days of the semester, and taking a few days off work without even checking e-mail or calling in once. When I did call Pumpkinhead, he mercifully didn’t even seem to realize that I wasn’t at home because he was having too much fun playing with his Daddy or with my cousins. Work didn’t have as oblivious of a reaction….

Fortunately the crisis has passed (I hope) and things are looking up. My tears aren’t as close to the surface as they have been the past few days and the knots in my shoulders are starting to untwist. At the tail end of the 72 hours, I did still have to undergo the torturous three-hole skin biopsy I had scheduled (”Mother F&^&er!!!!”) and am off for some very nasty multiple-hour procedures tomorrow morning). However, my perspective has changed a lot in the past week, or maybe my tolerance level has just decreased. I’m not sure what it is but I think I’m going to start saying no a bit more to the things I don’t want to do and the people I don’t wish to deal with so that I can reduce my stress level. I started this week by meeting with the Dean to ask for accommodations at school while I’m dealing with the pain during this diagnosis phase. Amazingly enough, it looks like they’ll be able to do a lot for me. More on that later when my brain is up to higher-level thinking.

Thanks to Butterflyfish who has stepped up to take care of the roundup for me this week. You’re the best, lady.

Drank a few beers, danced with my husband, played games with my child and relaxed. It was a wonderful vacation. I listened to Shopaholic and Baby by Sophie Kinsella on my new iPod Nano. I love the whole Shopaholic series (so funny!!!) and have listened to them all on my various MP3 players. I had canceled my Audible subscription for a while (no time!), but signed up again to get $100 off the iPod. I really like it and it will make listening to my Sum and Substance cds so much easier because, unlike the Shuffle, I can actually figure out which section I’m hearing.

Anyway, we figured out that Pumpkinhead seems to always get creamed on Chutes and Ladders, but he whips everyone on Candyland. It’s so fun to see him happily playing… not so fun to see him throw a fit when he loses. Still, we had a blast together. Chapin and I went dancing on New Year’s Eve and then got Pumpkinhead from the sitter just before midnight for the countdown. On New Year’s Day, we took a horse-drawn carriage ride around a beautiful village by the sea. We got some great family photos and made some wonderful memories. I think we need to try to take this same vacation again sometime. Definitely relaxing!

I got on a wild tear last night, writing and finishing my Christmas letter by midnight. Then I decided that I had to take advantage of my husband’s business trip to wrap presents (he normally has us asleep by 10 because of his work schedule) and that had me up until 1 a.m. I hope this doesn’t mean I’m going to be hit by a bus or something! And if it does, at least let me get to the end of my lunch hour so I can get these cards addressed and mailed.

We have been going flat out ever since the weekend. Went caroling Friday night with a church group (so much fun!), then got up early Saturday to meet my mother for shopping. We left Pumpkinhead with his Granddad and had a lovely breakfast at La Madeleine. Then we headed off to Macy’s to search for formal wear for the cruise we’re taking in two weeks. My mother bought me a gorgeous royal blue silky wrap top and a long black/silver formal skirt. After that, I met my cousin for lunch (she cried when I gave her the portrait, then I cried and we were both wailing in the middle of Olive Garden!)

After lunch, I headed to the Apple Store to pick up my MacBook. The case had cracked again so they replaced it for free (third time). Apparently if you put your MacBook in a squished situation, the little feet above the screen will push into the case and eventually it cracks. I bought a little leather pad that sticks on the handrest areas and helps with that. It’s $34.99 on the retailer’s site, but I only paid $19.99 at the Apple Store.

After our Apple trip, we went to the movies hoping to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks, but ended up watching Fred Clause. Funny! Then Pumpkinhead said he wanted to play Checkers, which we don’t have, so we dashed off to WalMart to search for it. Unfortunately they were out so we settled for Chutes and Ladders and spent a good two hours playing it with Chapin.

On Sunday, Pumpkinhead went to church while Chapin and I went hunting for a bicycle and other Santa Claus gifts. We left the mall with lingerie and Nikes. Obviously Chapin wasn’t in Pumpkinhead-mode. Good thing I buy everything on Amazon. Then we went to Sam’s Club for eggs and yogurt and, finally, to WalMart to find a bike.

Unfortunately Chapin doesn’t believe in Santa Claus so he decided to give Pumpkinhead the bike that same day. On the plus side, we had a great time biking up and down the street. Pumpkinhead was so proud of himself!!

Then we realized that this was, for all intents and purposes, the last weekend before Christmas (unless you count next weekend which will be INSANE at the mall!!!) So we trotted back to the mall and spent 30 minutes searching for parking so that we could purchase suits for Pumpkinhead and Chapin (again for the cruise). Then we dragged Chapin to see Alvin and the Chipmunks. This time I thought ahead and bought the tickets on Fandango beforehand. Chapin and Pumpkinhead loved it… I fell asleep! I have NEVER fallen asleep in a movie! I was just beat.

Monday was Pumpkinhead’s school skip day. He had a blast at the backup daycare and I took him for a fun lunch at some nearby shops. We hit the bookstore on the way back so he was totally psyched. Then we were up until 10 making Christmas cookies last night (to send to school with him and to Chapin’s work).

All this is to say that I need a break from my break! I’m having tons of quality time with Pumpkinhead, but I still haven’t finished even one book and I MUST write our Christmas letter and get these cards mailed off today!!! Hopefully I can do that at lunch today. And I have not wrapped a single thing!! That’s tonight’s task, I think. Hopefully all of you are having similarly fun (but less crazy!) time off from school.

So I have this brother. I try to forget sometimes, but, yes, it’s true. In the last year he’s been arrested twice for assault (on his girlfriend…), sued his landlord for stupid crap and sued his car financing company to try to get around paying his car note. My parents have sent him thousands of dollars to “help” because he has a medical condition that he uses to make them feel guilty. I got a call at 1 a.m. from my mother asking me to put $550 into his account (her money; my Internet connection) because:
a) He was $447 overdrawn (she just gave him $2k about two weeks ago!)
b) He was stuck on the side of the road somewhere in DC with no money.
c) He was FIRED from his job because he decided it would be fun to have an after-hours party with some cute, UNDERAGE girls and provide them with alcohol from the restaurant bar. What part of “jailable offense” does he not understand?

Okay, the boy is 26 years old, still in undergrad (supposed to graduate this semester, but no promises on that score), and now jobless and close to apartment-less if his landlady gets her way (she’s already removed the laundry to make it harder for him). He had a heart attack at 20 because he decided to take Ecstasy despite the counter-indication with his medial condition. It’s all about sex for him (I really, truly, believe he has bipolar disorder that has yet to be diagnosed) because he does crazy stuff for women, including spending all of his money on impressing them. Of course it’s all “poor me, why do THEY do this TO ME.” Uh-huh. And my parents want him to move here so they can “help him.” Um, yeah, just bring his drama this way, why don’t you?!?

I transfered $550 into his account, crawled back into bed and heard Chapin say, “That guy is not allowed in our house ever, ever, EVER again.”