Where Did My Baby Go?

For the first time since my divorce was finalized in 2008, Chapin is exercising his right to take Pumpkinhead at Christmas (alternating years).  Chapin who does not celebrate Christmas.  Not for religious reasons but because he grew up in Guatemala on a rural farm as one of 10 kids born to very poor parents.  So…  his Christmas consists of Christmas Eve where they eat at 10 p.m. and open one (the only) present at midnight and then the men play poker All. Night. Long.  Not that this is wrong.  Just different.  And Pumpkinhead doesn’t remember that.  We do Christmas big here.  I was thinking he’d be bummed to do something less “Christmassy.”

I have known for a while that Chapin had exercised his right.  But today as I thought about my Black Friday shopping trip, I was feeling particularly melancholy that Pumpkinhead won’t be with us for Christmas.  So I called Chapin.  I was shocked to hear him say “Whatever – doesn’t matter to me either way.  He’d probably have more fun with you so why don’t you keep him and I will take him over New Year’s.”  Was psyched and thought all was said and done.

Little did I know my 8 year-old has grown up.  He’s with his Dad this week (until tomorrow night) so I called him to tell him the “good” news.  “Don’t you want to be with Gram-Gram, Gumpy, your brother,  Papa J and I?”  His response?  “Mom, you are making me feel guilty.”  Oh crap.  Next up?  “I lose either way.“  Um, are you 8 or 18?  Holy crap! So I backtracked and said that of course I had no intention of guilting him, of course it is his decision, etc.  Was only trying to ensure he had Christmas and that we would definitely celebrate when he came home.  Wow…  So he goes “Mom, I haven’t seen my Guatemala family in a few years and I want to go up to Maryland with him.”    “Okay, sure honey.   Whatever you want. It is 100% your decision.”

FLOORED…