PT-LawMom

I left work today remembering why I’d sworn off ever working for a woman again. And then kicking myself for being such a horrible sexist jerk. And then wishing I’d kicked the nasty bitch across the table who cut me down in the middle of a meeting I was running with a few words. Grrr. Bitch. Evil Attorney Bitch Who Thinks She is Better Than Me. Grrr!!!!!!

So Direct Boss was out today and my review was cancelled. Big Boss met with me on other items.

1. He’s impressed with my work and thinks I’m doing a great job
2. He doesn’t want to lose me
3. He also doesn’t want to lose Direct Boss…
4. So I need to learn to play nice and get along (um… this was never about me NOT playing nice and getting along – this was about the whole freaking group being dragged down by this moron. We get along fine! As long as I do all his work for him… and the rest of the group, department, other directors, come to me when they need something from our group…)
5. No they will not be hiring someone to take the place of the person they fired in December.
6. I can work “as much OT as I want!!”
7. But “set limits; say “no” and go home at a reasonable hour.”
8. Well, “don’t say “no”, say “next week.” (Apparently he doesn’t realize that if I go home earlier that means that the work I am not doing while resting gets pushed to next week.)
9. He’s going to get me the professional development certification seminar and exam/licensure I requested.
10. And he’s also giving it to the other girl they hired in his office in another city with my SAME TITLE!!!

So, at the end of the day, I have no idea where I stand, where I’m going, or what it means. Direct Boss says they are making me exempt and defining my position. Big Boss says, “Work all the OT hours you want because we aren’t hiring anyone!” Direct Boss says, “You can’t go to this seminar/take the licensure exam until your review” and then it gets rescheduled… again. Big Boss says “Schedule it!” “Oh, wait, it’s $5k? Um… send me the info.”

Shoot. Me. Now.

If you knew… if I could tell you…

I really have been pouring my heart and soul into this position. And maybe that’s the problem. Okay, fine, I KNOW that’s the problem. I care too much. I like my job. But I cannot keep managing up. I can only do what I can do. And I am burned out. Totally and completely. And today sucked.