Mr. V proposed. Woo-hoo!!!! Actually, Mr. V and Pumpkinhead proposed with “rock candy“. Shocked the hell out of me. Not that I didn’t think we’d get married someday. But the fact that he did it tonight seriously stunned me. And, of course, I said yes. I have adored this man since the very first moment we met and have never had a doubt that he is The One. Never, ever felt anything close with Chapin. I am so happy!
Archive for October, 2009
Weekly MILP Roundup #121
25
Oct
The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup** is hosted on a rotating basis at the PT-LawMom, Attorney Work Product and A Little Fish in Law School blogs and is usually posted no later than Monday morning. Next week Proto Attorney will have it.
Proto Attorney – “…I got an email from a certain totally awesome federal agency that, you know, like, investigates stuff, saying that my application was approved and I am invited to sit for the qualification exam.”
JD Wannabe – “Today, I took a hit for woman kind and overcame that steadily growing feeling that all the new things have been done, or are not as good as they appear in their idea formats.”
Butterflyfish – “I think it is worst if you don’t know whether it is a good thing or a bad thing which is going to happen.”
PD Surrogate – “I’m focusing on myself now, and really hope no one throws a wrench into that plan.”
Out Law Mama – “You KNOW the looks you’d get. You want one, don’t you?”
Better Together — “…a wave of grief that I hadn’t realized was hanging over me just exploded.”
Starting to Melt – “The long awaited discovery of my deepest, darkest law passion- has it come to late?”
Legally Certifiable - “We have a teacher conference on Thursday. Is there a non awkward way to ask, “so why exactly do you think we’re poor?”"
Googie Baba – “What kind of karma creates a sexually deviant person with no hands? Probably what I’ll end up in my next life.”
If you would like to have your blog added to the MILP blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at their respective sites.
**Hat tip to the “original” Roundup Evan Schaeffer’s Legal Underground and Thanks, But No Thanks
The Retaliation Begins
19
Oct
Forget everything I said yesterday. My boss met with me today and things just went downhill from there. He categorized my To Do list into “early week, mid week, late week, next week and next month”. Of course all of the Big Boss’s priorities are NEXT MONTH!!! And the attorneys? Fuck ‘em. He says I should tell them to come back later and report them to him if they come to me so he can redirect them. He also says they should take on a lot of my duties themselves. Nice… And I shouldn’t work more than 8 hours a day. So basically I’m being demoted, disregarded and screwed.
THEN he comes into my colleague’s office where we are meeting to review a project and drags in our third coworker. Announces he is setting schedules for all of us. Wants us to tell him where we are at all times, when we will be back, etc., so that he can ensure the attorneys have coverage. Um, what did you just tell me?!? Says he wants to know if we take time off when we will make it up.
Then, when I ask him about the professional development exam Big Boss said they would cover, he said “Maybe we can consider it next year.” I asked him about our conversation back in February in which he asked me to travel to promote our program’s initiatives. He basically denied it (again) and said he can’t really speak to the future.
FINALLY, he told me Big Boss’s big project would have to be done when I can “fit it in”. Which, considering my workload which, fuck him, is NOT going to fit into 8-hour days, means “do it on your own time, sucka!”
I am so fucking depressed. Big Boss said to give it a few weeks. I will. But damn. 
Sunday Stealing: The ABC’s Meme
17
Oct
A- Advocate for: Equality
B- Best Feature: Smile
C- Could do without: Reality television
D- Dreams and desires: Career advancement
E- Essential items: Books, chocolate, my boys
F- Favorite past time: Reading
G- Good at: Many things 
Immodesty? Not so much. LOL
H- Have never tried: Um…
I- If I had a million dollars: I would pay off all my bills
J- Junkie for: chocolate, lelo
K- Kindred spirit: Anne of Green Gables
L- Little known fact: My two pinkies curve in a V shape
M- Memorable moment: Can’t think of one right now
N- Never again will I: ride a rollercoaster (so scared of heights, it hurts, I HATE it!!!!)
O- Occasional indulgence: Expensive cheeses
P- Profession: Legal compliance
Q- Quote: “Forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably. ”
R- Reason to smile: Mr. V and little Pumpkinhead
S- Sorry about: Can’t think of something I want to share right now
T- Things you are worrying about right now: The future, bills, work, life… pick one!!
U- Uninterested in: Reality television
V- Very scared of: Anything happening to my child
W- Worst habits: Stress eating and clutter
Y- Yummiest dessert: Molten chocolate cake
X- X marks my ideal vacation spot: Somewhere tropical or filled with history (love architecture!)
Z- Zodiac sign: Capricorn
Payoff?
17
Oct
I had a meeting with the Big Boss this week. He likes me. He really likes me. LOL. Seriously, though, the conversation went well and started off with him asking me to work on a major project for the department and each of its sub-groups. A lot of his ideas for going forward are things I had wanted to implement when I started but it wasn’t the right time and I am thrilled to be asked to take the lead on rolling them out to the organization.
However, we also had a talk about current boss and my insane workload. Wouldn’t have done that except boss threatened me with “black marks” and “dings” on my review on Wednesday based on delays on certain projects (most of with were due to his putting off key decision-making meetings or were otherwise beyond my control). I’ve been working 12+-hour days for the past few months so that just killed me. I told him straight out that if I saw a “black mark” on my review due to delays, I would be writing a formal rebuttal explaining the facts.
The conversation with Big Boss (initiated by him) was very productive and positive but I’m not sure how things will shake out. I’m hopeful. Hard to say, though. The day after our conversation, my boss came down to talk about my workload and told me to just tell the people in my group to go away when they need something and make them wait. He wants to sit down Monday to discuss my project load. The frustrating thing is that he has a very unrealistic expectation of the time that projects actually take. I am fast (really) but I also want to be accurate. And he just keeps loading more and more on me and telling me “just fit it in”. Of course, Friday he was back to his “don’t work more than 8 hours; just put things and people off where there are no firm deadlines” speech. Um… yeah. Been living in this passive aggressive nightmare for almost two years. He will tell me that and then get mad when things aren’t done. I tried to explain to him that not having something due that day doesn’t mean that I don’t need to make progress. I can’t “put things off” in order to only work 8 hours. Dumbass. Not to mention the fact that everyone in the group comes to me and he’s telling me to put them off. Um… okay. They will love that. Bottom line, I need a clear job description with my responsibilities. You can’t assign me responsibility to oversee at least four simultaneous programatic initiatives that only involve me and key stakeholders/executives and ALSO assign me to support a team of five attorneys on their initiatives, then tell me to tell the attorneys they have to wait. Or you can but you have to assign the support tasks to others so that the attorneys don’t fail in their missions. Grrr.
Anyway, I’m supposed to talk to my boss Monday to review my current task list. Ha. We will see how that plays out. Fortunately, yay, Big Boss agreed to pay for a professional certification course that I’ve wanted to take so at least I feel like there is some silver lining no matter what.
Sunday Stealing: The Magical Mystery Tour Meme
11
Oct
1. Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet? Rush Limbaugh
2. How do you flush the toilet in public? With my foot – ew, germs!
3. Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? Yes, always!
4. Do you have a crush on someone? I’m crushing pretty hard on Mr. V, but he knows it.
5. Name one thing you worry about running out of. Right now? Wine and chocolate. Ahh, stress.
6. What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble? I have never been told I resemble anyone famous (unless you count Grimace of McDonalds fame – oh, yes, middle school was fun times!)
7. What is your favourite pizza topping? Veggies
8. Do you crack your knuckles? Heck no! I hate that sound.
9. What song do you hate the most? Can’t think of it right now. I am not a fan of songs with the “c” word in them and, boy, there do seem to be a lot of women-hating “c”-word songs out.
10. Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head? No.
11. What are your super powers? I have a great sense of smell and I used to be called the Walking Dictionary.
12. Peppermint or spearmint? Peppermint
13. Where are your car keys? In my purse
14. Last song you listened to? Happy Birthday song on my friend, Lance’s, Facebook page
15. What’s your most annoying habit? Worrying/Over-thinking
16. Where did you last go on vacation? Vacation? What’s that? LOL. No, the last vacation I went on was to Julian, California with Blue Eyes around this time last fall. Yes, it has been a full year since I have taken vacation. Sick time for my kid DOES NOT COUNT (although my boss thinks it does)
17. What is your best physical feature? I asked Mr. V and he said 1) “that you can post in public?!?”, 2) “your hips” – to which I glared, but he says they are a perfect curve he can rest his hand on. Ha. I’d usually go with my smile.
18. What CD is closest to you right now? None. Probably the CD for one of the Wii games.
19. What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator? Cheese sticks, pickles, ketchup
20. What superstition do you believe/practice? I believe that if you go to the bathroom, the food will finally come.
21. What colour are your bed sheets? We have a white set, a green set and a chocolate brown set
22. Would you rather be a fish or a bird? Bird
23. Last thing you broke? It’s been a while. Probably a glass or something while moving.
24. What are you having to eat tonight? No idea. Soup?
25. What colour shirt are you wearing? I am wearing lacy pink lingerie. Mr. V is doing a good job of ignoring it. To his credit, I *am* super-sick (slept literally 17 hours straight – yay bronchitis…)
26. If you could be doing anything else today, what would you rather be doing? Feeling well enough to do anything besides laying on the couch. As it is, I had to give up a friend’s birthday party. And I’m supposed to meet my mother to say goodbye because she flies to the Middle East tomorrow.
27. Do security cameras make you nervous? No
28. If you wrote a book about your life, what would the title be? Leap first, look later
29. Last time you went to a cemetery? This summer when my great aunt was buried in the family plot
30. Last concert you went to? I don’t remember. Was supposed to go to George Strait but sold those. Probably Ricky Martin with my ex-husband. Yep, it’s been a while!
31. Favourite musician(s)/bands you’ve seen in concert? Travis Tritt, Martina McBride, Kenny Chesney, Wiggles
32. Next concert you’re planning to attend? No plans. Would love to see Sugarland in concert (real reason I was going to see George Strait)
33. Do you talk to yourself? Yes, all the time. Usually in my head.
34. Have you ever adopted or purchased a pet? Yes, Jack and Toby. And Shirley, come to think of it.
35. Have you ever been present when an animal is being born? Yes, our Shih Tzus had several litters and I’ve seen kittens being born. When we were visiting Guatemala, the pig had piglets.
Thank you for playing this week on Sunday Stealing!
Weekly MILP Roundup #119
11
Oct
This week’s MILP Roundup is up at Proto Attorney’s place. The Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis at the PT-LawMom, Attorney Work Product and Butterflyfish blogs and is usually posted no later than Monday morning. Butterflyfish has it next week.
Weird child
10
Oct
My Pumpkinhead is the cutest, most unusual child. He loves to dance and sing. This morning he asked me to come up with a list of words so he could practice his spelling. He did really well and then lapsed into goofiness to run upstairs and e-mail me words from his various books (Curious George, Stuart Little, etc.). When he got into nonsense, he sent me “HYUIO ITS HYUIO”. I called up and said, “Goofy boy, what does this mean?” He raced downstairs and started dancing, singing, “It’s my dance – hyuio, it’s hyuio”. LOL
Cuteness
09
Oct
And now, to balance my fears post, a post about all the cute.
Pumpkinhead has discovered Skype. Ths is awesome because it means he can chat with Mimi and Granddad in the Middle East. But not so awesome because he gets up at, like, 5 a.m. and has rowdy online conversations. LOL. He has also discovered emoticons. Apparently he sent Mimi the following IM at 6 a.m. “Time for {beer emoticon}?” Oh yes, that’s my boy. She wrote back, “Nope, time for {hot chocolate emoticon}”.
He’s also been sending me e-mails on Gmail. Yesterday’s was “Mommy gets a gold star!” Awww…
He and Mr. V are so cute. They have been recording “boy shows” and I find them watching them together when I get home from work. Scooby Doo, Zumangi, etc. Mr. V is big into homework time and he and Pumpkinhead have been working every day on math and spelling. I’m so impressed with how well Mr. V has integrated us into his household and how he has taken on the “Dad” role so smoothly. He mutes the TV and puts on his authoritative voice, calling up to Pumpkinhead to come down and give me a kiss before bed. He has also apparently made it his mission in life to get Pumpkinhead to brush for two minutes.
Oh yes, I should pay attention to what the man does… 
Fears
09
Oct
The last few months, for all their good, have also been filled with fears, unsettled feelings and worry. Ha. What else is new? I’m dealing with a ton of stress at work and that has me on edge, working too much and trying to “fix” something over which I honestly have no control and seek out affirmation from someone I know will never give it.
As for my relationship, it is going better than ever. And that scares the living daylights out of me. Heh. I hate, hate, hate not being in control. And I hate feeling “less than”, but I do. Mr. V says my insecurities are exhausting. Yeah, I’ve heard that one before (Blue Eyes). Jeff Mac says to pay attention not to what a man says but to what he does. So if he says loving things but continues to live somewhat in the past, staying friends with old girlfriends, checking out the occasional Match.com pairing even though his account is shut, or showing evidence of desires I could never fulfill, does that mean I’m in trouble? Or am I magnifying small, normal guy behaviors and overlaying them with insecurities borne of a cheating husband who made me feel undeserving of love? How do I stop feeling so panicked at every little thing and learn to fully trust someone who hasn’t given me any reason NOT to trust him? How do I stop “making him pay” for Chapin’s mistakes?
My friend, T, blogged this week about this same issue and how she doesn’t trust her own judgment, constantly over-thinking and second guessing every move. I can see why it would frustrate Mr. V so I try not to question or second-guess and keep most of this to myself. I have to hope that someday it will go away. And part of me really does think I need to go back to my therapist and talk to her about everything. Because I know that Mr. V is an awesome man who is good for me and vice versa. And I love him. And Pumpkinhead loves him. He makes me laugh and makes me happy. I think this all stems from the fact that I still don’t really understand why Chapin cheated and, deep down, truly feel that it was because of some deficiency of mine. How do you get past that? How do you learn to love yourself and trust that you are lovable and worthy for everything you have to offer and not to hang everything on someone else? I’m doing it at work and I’m doing it at home. Argh. I don’t believe it’s something you can learn overnight but I sure wish there was a pill you could take.
