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Archive for May, 2009

Weekly MILP Roundup #100

31 May

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup** is the brainchild of Saramel (retired). It is hosted on a rotating basis at the PT-LawMom, A Little Fish in Law School, and A New Duck blogs and is usually posted no later than Monday morning. Next week’s MILP Roundup will be hosted by New Duck.

To celebrate the 100th edition of the Moms in the Legal Profession Roundup, I wanted to tell you about one of the earliest and most famous MILPs. Perhaps she will inspire those of you toiling through bar exam preparation or summer classes or looking into your babies’ eyes and trying to decide whether all of the effort is worth it.

Belva Ann Lockwood was the first female lawyer admitted to practice before the U.S. Supreme Court in 1879. She was born on October 24, 1830 in Royalton, NY. At age 23, she was widowed and left with a small child to raise. She graduated from what is now Syracuse University in 1857. Several years later, she moved to Washington, DC and attended the National University Law School and was admitted to the District of Columbia bar in 1873. In 1872, she was responsible for Congress passing a pay parity law for female employees in the federal government. In 1903, Lockwood authored congressional amendments giving suffrage to women in Arizona, New Mexico and Oklahoma. She also served as a delegate to peace congresses in Europe before her death in 1917.

Lockwood rejected dependency, for herself and for other women, and did not hesitate to confront the male establishment that kept women from voting and from professional advancement. She began practicing law in Washington only after fending off the “growl” of the young men of the National University Law School, who declared they would not graduate with a woman, and wringing her law school degree from the hands of President Ulysses S. Grant, the institution’s ex officio head, in 1873.

Three years later, in 1876, when the justices of the U.S. Supreme Court refused to admit her to its bar, stating, “none but men are permitted to practice before [us] as attorneys and counselors,” she single-handedly lobbied Congress until that body passed “An Act to relieve certain legal disabilities of women,” an effort that a reporter described as having required “an unconscionable deal of lobbying.” Lockwood agreed, writing later that to succeed, “nothing was too daring for me to attempt.” On March 3, 1879, on the motion of Washington attorney Albert G. Riddle, who had long been her champion, she became the first woman admitted to the Supreme Court bar, sworn in amidst “a bating of breath and craning of necks.” A year later, she argued Kaiser v. Stickney before the high court, the first woman lawyer to do so.

Ms. Lockwood should serve as an example to all of us of how you can make time for your career as well as your passions and your children.

I started attending law school with the intention of volunteering my time to help those who need it most in addition to working in my practice area of choice. I would encourage all of you to consider volunteering your time as a law student or lawyer to help out those who cannot afford quality legal representation. Even as a young mother, I was able to carve out 4-6 hours once a month to volunteer as a bilingual intake paralegal at a local labor law clinic. You would be surprised how little time you need to find in your schedule to give back. Most of the clinics require little-to-no preparation and give you all the tools you need when you arrive onsite.

A few links:
National Pro Bono Search Tool (search for state and local opportunities)
Military Pro Bono Project (serving active duty military and veterans)
Paralegals and Pro Bono
International Pro Bono (overseas opportunities)
Immigration Volunteers

And now, the 100th edition of the Weekly MILP Roundup.

Lag Liv reminds us that sometimes the stereotypes are true (yet another reason why we as women should strive to be as kind and supportive as possible to other women)

After being royally screwed into unemployment, Certifiable is marking time and looking for the right job.

Cee shares her dreams and disillusionment regarding her legal career. Her husband is also being a completely insensitive asshole man! (And *he* should be sleeping on the couch, not you, girl. Send him to Good Husband school.)

Shelley illustrates the need for high tech caller ID.

Clownfish
is making strides towards future legal brief writing (or NY Times Bestseller or doctors notes or whatever wonderful career he chooses).

GoogieBaba has a baby update and what sounds to me like a super-fun fall law school schedule.

PBB is making her voice heard (password-protected, but available to those MILPs who read regularly. Contact dr_andrea at yahoo if you think you should have access.)

New Duck still has me craving pie after this post. I have resisted all week (mostly because it makes me sick… but I love it).

ProtoAttorney is experiencing the beginnings of toddler angst (cute, cute, CUTE Cora picture in this post!!)

TrannyHead, Sumo and the cute little baby belly are all wonderfully delicious.

Magic Cookie had some fond and less-than-yummy memories at her 10-year college reunion.

 

Feeling Adored

30 May

I’m in single mommy relationship heaven. :grin:

Mr. V always says Pumpkinhead comes first and means it (i.e., his actions reflect his words).

Mr. V met Pumpkinhead and wasn’t awkward, weird or strange, which for an almost-40-year-old man without kids or even nieces/nephews is, I think, kind of awesome.

Mr. V isn’t afraid to speak up if Pumpkinhead is acting innapropriately and tell him to cut it out. I like that.

Mr. V is seeking out things we can do together as a group, but is also finding things for he and I to do together alone. I really, really like this because it shows that he is not just trying to woo me as a Mommy but also as a Woman. Some men tend to take an all-or-nothing approach.

Last week Mr. V let Pumpkinhead play his race car game on his iPhone. Pumpkinhead loved it so Mr. V went out and got Mario Kart for his WII so that Pumpkinhead and he will have something to play when he comes over to visit. Awwww. :mrgreen:

Then he sends me a text and says, “Cirque du Soleil is coming to town in July. We should totally get tickets and take [Pumpkinhead]!” Awww.

Finally, and this is what hooked me originally, he wasn’t supposed to meet Pumpkinhead until this weekend because we were taking things slow. He had sent me an e-mail a few weeks ago and mentioned that the movie, “Up” was coming out this weekend and suggested that perhaps that would be a good first meeting activity for them. Quite honestly I had completely forgotten it. Yesterday we were talking and he mentioned the movie in passing. Is it just me or is it totally swoon-worthy that the man remembered and is still excited about taking me and my kid to see a movie this weekend? (Or maybe he’s just a kid himself and wants an excuse to go see it. LOL.)

P.S. Last night I had to drive across town to pick up Pumpkinhead and was then supposed to meet someone on the complete opposite side of town to pick up something I had agreed to buy for Pumpkinhead. And I’m totally coughing up a lung and ready to pass out. When I mentioned the across-town trip to Mr. V, he fussed at me for not asking him to do it and said, “You need to rest!!! If I go do this for you, will you promise me you will go get into bed and rest like you should be?” Seriously?!?!?! I am so used to narcissistic men and to being the caretaker that I have never, never, EVER had someone do that for me without some sort of guilt trip. Yep, I am head over heels for this guy. :cool:

 

Sicko

27 May

Have I mentioned that I am horrible at coming up with blog post titles?

1) My state has a new updated snazzy sex offender registry. Not so sure I’m thrilled to now be armed with the knowledge that there are 72 sex offenders within a three-mile radius of my home. :shock: Fortunately very few who were arrested for pedophilia so I can keep mental images of the smaller bunch more easily. Probably time to have the Stranger Danger talk with Pumpkinhead…

2) I’m so sick. Off work today. Went to doctor and he said it’s not the Swine Flu (couldn’t rule out Pug, though…) and that it is just a nasty upper respiratory infection. That said, he thinks it needs 20 days of antibiotics because it is pretty set in and I can’t stop vomiting. Blah. And he also wants me to stay home and rest. :evil:

PhotobucketMr. V’s pug, Pixel, and cat, Raster

3) Okay, I used to think that everyone was way too hard on their assistants. Then I got one. F&^*&! Asked her to help me today with something our boss needed urgently. She had to pull some files together from ONE folder, zip them and send them too him. Oh no, first they weren’t named the EXACT thing he sent. Then she thought she had to print and scan them. :shock: THEN she called me and I didn’t answer because I was sick and in the bathroom. When I called her back about 3 minutes later, she was frantic and had two attorneys in our group in our office because she didn’t know how to zip files (and neither did they, apparently…). :roll: Okay, while it is nice to be needed, it is NOT nice to be super sick and unable to pass a simple task like this off. Grrr.

4) Speaking of being needed, my boss called me at 4:15 p.m. I had already informed him that I will be off tomorrow but hope to return on Friday. He said that he had an urgent project that needed to be finished by first thing tomorrow. Now it is urgent. And for a variety of reasons, most to do with access to the data and with technical expertise, I am the only one who can do it right now. But geez, I feel like crap on a cracker. And now I have to do cartwheels because this particular deliverable is going to some VIPs tomorrow. Ugh.

5) On the plus side, have I mentioned that I adore Mr. V. Sweet guy drove an hour across town to bring me his SUV. He picked up Crazy Roomie’s car that I have been driving and is taking it back to her to switch out with Big Ass Truck. Yay for men who pitch in with the dirty work. Then he took me out, makeupless and raggedy, to a local Mexican restaurant for a steaming hot bowl of tortilla chicken soup (really does cure all ills) and held my snotty hand even after I coughed. Swoon. :mrgreen: He’s planning a trip to his home state in August and asked me to come with (and, unlike past boyfriends, he actually wants to pay for my ticket!!) And he told Pumpkinhead tonight that he’s picking up Mario Kart for his WII so they will have something to play when we come over. Sweet!!

 

Kaboom!

26 May

Well today sucked. Buried my favorite aunt, threw up all morning and had to listen to Crazy Roomie bitch me out starting at 8 a.m.

Last night I sent Crazy Roomie a standard sublease agreement. Had the standard provisions about rent payment (due on 1st, late fee if after 5th); utilities (1/3), etc. It also had a rules section with provisions about the shared use of common areas and a clause about my need for access to the bathroom I share with four (4!!) kids from 6:30 – 7:30 a.m. weekdays so I can get ready for work (because I had problems with a past roommate). I promised to try to keep my child off of her computer (located in living room) and asked her to keep her kids off mine (located in my bedroom). Most importantly, because we both have children under six, I put a clause that NEITHER of us would have overnight guests without informing the other. I think that is perfectly normal and fair. All seemed very standard and usual to me.

She FREAKED. Wanted to know why we needed an agreement at all. Then proceeded to say that Mr. V’s visit to the house yesterday to drop off the Lowes and Home Depot receipts she had asked for meant he was spying on her and to tell me he isn’t allowed over without 24 hours notice. :shock: Then she started to say, “Doesn’t he know that the awning outside is practically falling over? I don’t even have to pay rent. I could just take him to court over all of this and make him wait.” Then she said that she tripped over a place where the carpet is raised and almost broke her leg and “his parents should watch out because the house has so many problems that could hurt people.” So of course I warned Mr. V of the potential for litigation because she’s already talking that way. The reality is that there is very little wrong with the house except that it is old. The awning isn’t broken. It has a few loose nails that need mending.

Mr. V had a whole list and Crazy Roomie wasn’t supposed to move in until June 1 to give him time to fix them. But she not only started moving her stuff (which was allowed) but also moved her kids in. I found one of them in my room spilling a Dr. Pepper on the floor. Her youngest races around the house on his trike and scrapes the cabinets. The oldest slams doors and sticks marshmallows on my wood dining room table. Argh. They are nightmares. :(

So I called Mr. V and we had a heart-to-heart. I told him I cannot live with that kind of stress and that I would move but he would have to not give me shit about the neighborhood I could afford. He talked to his sister and decided that the better choice would be to have Crazy Roomie move out. They have not signed a lease yet. I will take on the full rent and try to find a roommate to rent the second half of the house (Master Bedroom with bathroom and large walk-in closets). So now we just have to see how Crazy Roomie reacts…

Have I mentioned lately how much I adore Mr. V? Still, I hate, hate, hate that it worked out this way, that he has been stuck in the middle, etc. This was a great idea in theory but in reality the woman is nuts, her kids are nuts and the whole situation is insane!

Keep me and Pumpkinhead (and poor, stressed Mr. V and his parents) in your thoughts and prayers as we try to work this all out. Ugh…

 

Mini Drama Update

26 May

This weekend was crazy. Moved a 24′ truck full of furniture to the new place. Only to find out what was suspected was true. New Roomie is a complete nutjob. She had a complete crying breakdown over a miscommunication and told me that it is obvious her friendship means nothing to me. Huh? What? Do I even know her yet?!?!? Then she told her oldest son to stop making every day the worst day of her life. :shock: :shock: :shock: And her oldest son (12), as sad as I feel for him, is a real shit. In her business, in my business and generally mean to his brothers and my child. I spent the whole weekend anxious, stressed and generally losing my mind. And don’t even get me started on the movers who scratched all my furniture, bent my fridge plug and scratched New Roomie’s antique desk (yes, she lost it – I had warned her it was in the way, though…).

Sooo… since I am low on funds and have already paid my June rent and another $400 in moving costs, I am stuck. But I can control this. So first Mr. V and I explored other options. We decided the best choice was for me to stay put for the summer while I figure out what to do next. In the meantime, I called Chapin. He offered to pay extra for childcare this summer, if necessary. He also gave me the name of one of his coworkers’ wives who has an in-home daycare. She is from Guatemala, prepares homecooked meals for the kids she watches and does a lot of activities with them. I’m going to visit her tomorrow evening after my Aunt’s funeral to see the house and check her out but I think it sounds great. If she doesn’t work out, the extra money from Chapin should help me cover the cost of the YMCA or another local facility. If I can do in-home, then I can afford a few specialty camps this summer as well.

Anyway, the idea is that I will spend June – August at her house and in the meantime be looking at other options and seeing how it goes. I cannot stay there but if I know it is temporary, that makes it easier. There are apartments and potentially other rental houses or even women with kids looking for a shared situation. I just cannot have my kid stay home daily with kids who are so badly behaved. Their breakfast this morning consisted of marshmallows, soda, cookies and popcorn. :shock: My son had Mac & Cheese and a yogurt (the cooktop is broken so I couldn’t make eggs). Now to figure out how to tell her in a kind way that I will be taking my daycare money and spending it elsewhere…

P.S. I arrived at my Aunt’s wake tonight and my mother’s first sentence was, “You know you still have a ton of crap in my house, right?” :evil: Mind you I am not officially moving out for two more weeks… Sigh.

 

Weekly MILP Roundup #99

26 May

This week’s roundup is up at Butterflyfish’s.

The Weekly MILP (Moms in the Legal Profession) Roundup is the brainchild of Saramel (retired). It is hosted on a rotating basis at the PT-LawMom, A New Duck and Butterflyfish blogs and is usually posted no later than Monday.

 

Loss

21 May

My favorite great aunt passed away today. She was 95, spunky, sassy and generally amazing. My grandfather’s oldest sister, she lived alone for years in the same house since her husband died early in their marriage. They never had children. She worked her whole life, including three days a week at a dental office until about 18 months ago. Last fall she lost her home in Hurricane Ike and has gone downhill since then. Today she fell and broke her hip. They had stabilized her and were transferring her to a room when she went into cardiac arrest and passed away after 20 minutes.

Gosh this is a hard day. I miss my grandparents so much right now. :(

Photobucket Photobucket

 
 

Needy

21 May

 
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Posted in Dating

 

Are You Enjoying May Appropriately?

20 May

May is Masturbation Month. If you’re not doing it, you must get started because, really, the month is almost over. If you need a little inspiration, check out my sidebar for some erotica blogs to read or go over and look at T’s review of her first
G-Spot Toy
.

I prefer Lelo’s line of hypoallergenic, super-powered and (WOOT!) rechargeable toys. They are worth every single penny and available at my favorite toy store, Babeland.com. I find the Lelo line much less intimidating than those freaky/weird and HARD plastic rabbit toys. Ugh. You can even give your sweetie a treat for masturbation month. For the heterosexuals out there, read about the Top Five Sex Toys for Men at Babeland, complete with user reviews and guides. And for those between partners who’d like a little instruction, Babeland has a full line of instructional DVDs for your viewing pleasure. As for me, I think it may be time to break this little gem out again and try it again for some partnered sex. It was a bit awkward the last time I tried it but the reviews swear it gets better the more you work on it and I’m all for simultaneous orgasms so why not?! :mrgreen:



 

Drama and why single parent dating SUCKS

20 May

Yesterday was rough. New Roomie is very melodramatic. But Mr. V and I have decided it’s he and I against the world and that this is a temporary situation. Pumpkinhead really likes her kids and, quite frankly, I cannot afford both my own apartment and summer daycare for him. :sad: But Pumpkinhead is sad. He drew a picture yesterday of a boy with a downturned smile next to a house and wrote “A house is a house”. He’s also pulling the skin off around his fingers, although that started even before my fight with my mother. I am very worried about him and am going to call his psychiatrist today to see if she can see him.

Speaking of my mother, she packed up all of my dishes from her kitchen and put them outside my door. Then she left town for the week. :shock:

New Roomie called me yesterday to ask how much I intend to pay her to watch Pumpkinhead each night while I’m with Mr. V. Okay, what?!? This has been something she has brought up over and over and I keep telling her I won’t be with Mr. V every night. And that Pumpkinhead’s Dad has him two evenings a week. And that if I’m with Mr. V other nights, Pumpkinhead will most likely be with us. Anyway, New Roomie said she will charge $50 for a night out. :shock: Um, no thanks. I’ll find my own sitter. JESUS!

As for Mr. V, he said that New Roomie blew a lot of stuff out of proportion. After talking to her yesterday about various things, I agree. So he and I will talk amongst ourselves and take EVERYTHING she says with a huge grain of salt. Sigh… And this is only temporary while I check out good schools for Pumpkinhead and find a place for him to land.

Now for the weird part. Pumpkinhead said to me last night, “Did you hear me call [Mr. V] [Blue Eyes]? Don’t you think they look alike?” (Um, tall, dark blue-eyed, so, sure a bit, but not totally, and Mr. V asked me out so it’s not like I went after someone who looked like Blue Eyes). “Will we ever see [Blue Eyes] again? Do you remember where he lives? Do you think he remembers me?” Yeah, I almost lost it there. :sad: I am such a selfish witch of a mother. Damn. This is exactly why dating as a single parent is so fucking hard. Because it is not just your heart that breaks, but your child’s heart. I know Pumpkinhead adored Blue Eyes and he just disappeared from his life one day. As a five year-old, that had to be traumatic. I don’t know of another way it could have gone but, wow, talk about a Parent FAIL. :cry: On the other hand, Blue Eyes has been a single parent for years and dated many, many, MANY women, the majority of whom have met his girls. His girls don’t seem to be the worse for it. So who knows? Crap.

So bottom line is Pumpkinhead is stressed and worrying me. New Roomie is melodramatic and a little on the crazy side. Mr. V rocks (and I adore him). And the next few months are going to be interesting. But if I keep the end goal in sight and start searching for good schools and a secure place for us to live in August, that should help.