Okay, I’m feeling much better this morning. All cried out. A full bottle of wine ingested. It’s 7:15 a.m. and I’m ready to face the day. And I have wonderful supportive bloggy friends to call me out and point out the realities.

From CM:

Wow.
I know this isn’t what you want. But this guy, after one date, cared about you enough to write this very long, emotionally honest, perceptive, and thoughtful letter. He must have thought it was an equally amazing date.

From Butterflyfish:

The guy seems like a good one at least via email; I can see why you broke your ‘focus on me’ resolution when he came along. As said above: bad timing does not equal rejection, and good for him for having boundaries.

If you believe like I do that people come into your life for a reason, then maybe this guy came in to hold a mirror up to you and show you some of your excellent qualities (you seem to forget that he did that) as well as the challenges you face moving forward (timing, the chaos, etc). And more importantly, maybe he is modeling the behavior you need in a future relationship (i.e. boundaries, not long emails).

He definitely showed me the good qualities (hence the tears – he “got me”.) I will be keeping this e-mail. Hell, maybe I’ll even print the damn thing and stick it in the front of my self-esteem book to remind me that I can find someone one day who won’t be emotionally abusive, narcissistic, etc., and will appreciate me.

That said, I think you are right, Butterflyfish (and others who basically said the same thing). He came into my life at this time for a reason, perhaps a glimpse into the future. And instead of turning this into a rejection experience, I’m going to turn this into a hopeful experience because it shows that my picker isn’t as broken as it has been, that people can see me, and that I will hopefully get there one day.

As for the long e-mails, B, that was one of the things I really liked about him!