Archive for March, 2009

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March 31st, 2009  Posted at   Dating
   |   3 Comments

If you are a romantic like me, you will find Modern Single Momma’s latest post very appealing. She shares her journey to discover that you don’t have to be fully whole to be ready for love — that it is a process and part of growing together as a couple. I’m so happy for her. :)

And on that note, with the hope that I don’t jinx myself by saying something, I have a date tomorrow night. :mrgreen: With a man who picked me. And seems to be fairly healthy and stable. Good job. Thinks I have a lot to offer. I think he has a lot to offer. We have e-mailed back and forth for about two weeks now and had a two-hour phone call tonight. He’s taking me to dinner Wednesday night. The only potential drawback I can see on the face is that he is a smoker, which is normally a dealbreaker for me, but he is in the process of quitting and is taking medication to do so. With that said, I can take my time getting to know him while he works on that. I really enjoyed talking to him tonight. We hit it off and he seems more like me than like the kind of guys I typically pick to date. Maybe we will just end up being great friends. But maybe it will be a connection. Hard to say until I meet him in person… But I’m psyched either way.

March 31st, 2009  Posted at   Single Parents
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My father has possession of my Big Ass Truck and won’t give it back. :shock: And he put my life at risk to do it (see the end of this post).

I should have known he would do this. He’s been doing this kind of thing my whole life. Every single time my Mother would get a new computer for her, he would stealthly move in and take it over under the guise of it being for her own good because, really, he knows computers better. And, oh yeah, his “important work” requires a faster processor or the newest software. My Mom would let him “borrow” her new toy and next thing she knew it was his…

This weekend I “lent” him the Big Ass Truck which, if you will remember, he wanted from the get-go. He took Chapin Tundra shopping waaayyy back in the day. Then he was trying to figure out a way to buy it off Chapin when he couldn’t make the payments. But my mother nipped that in the bud. And the reality is that he is NOT helping me pay for it. And I’m sorry but as much as I love my Dad, he’s a filthy man. And he gets cars wicked dirty. No freaking way am I letting him take over the truck.

Of course his “excuse” tonight as to why, when he said last night he would take his car and leave me mine, will be that the gas is just too expensive for “poor little [PT-LawMom].” Guess what, Dad? Poor little me is a 30 year-old woman who can take care of her own gas bills and needs to protect this asset until she can sell it and recoup at least some of what she owes the bank for it!!! :evil: Argh. I can’t believe he thought I would fall for this.

Did I mention the worst part? I was going to rent a car this weekend to go on my three-hour road trip. In order to get me to use his car (so he could take over mine), he told me his car was fixed. Turns out that it isn’t fixed. He has NO TAILLIGHTS. He sent his “precious daughter” on a three hour road trip with nothing but reflective tape to pick up the light when she braked, but no taillights to show her in the dark. Nice… :???: And lied about it when I asked him straight out. Gotta love that bipolar disorder.

March 30th, 2009  Posted at   Law School, MILS, Mommy stuff, Women in Law
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The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup** is the brainchild of Saramel (retired). It is hosted on a rotating basis at the PT-LawMom, A Little Fish in Law School, and A New Duck blogs and is usually posted no later than Monday morning. Next week’s MILP Roundup will be hosted by New Duck.

This week in the MILPosphere:

LagLiv has some fun. ;) (Okay, so I can’t really blame her for the late roundup – I just was having too much fun and forgot!)

Woot!!! Butterflyfish is employed!!!

And an overwhelmed New Duck is showing her what to expect when she gets out there in the real world

ProtoAttorney offers advice on interviewing for moms in law school

Magic Cookie finally receives her diploma

LEO is facing the realities of a crazy schedule in her last semester of law school with a new infant

And this may be the most hilarious Mom in Law School post ever!! Cee, you crack me up!

Dakota is [Not] enjoying her last spring break ever!

How would *you* spend $250,000? I think PBB and her talented hubby are doing such a fantastic job at staying grounded in the face of grandeur. But if PBB wins, I say it’s Jamaica time! ;)

At Balancing Act, the germs have descended

And TrannyHead rants about the evils of March

3L Wannabe is stalking men who run away at the sight of her (how does one explain that on the bar app?)

Shelley’s venting

Lag Liv takes time out of drafting a complaint for a little legal humor.

Googie’s lost her excuse (I think “That nasty Virgin’s been sticking bamboo shoots up my fingernails so I can no longer type” might work…)

If you would like to have your blog added to the MILP blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at their respective sites.

**Hat tip to the “original” Roundup Evan Schaeffer’s Legal Underground and Thanks, But No Thanks :twisted:

March 29th, 2009  Posted at   Dating
,    |   3 Comments

A while back, Ms. Single Mama posed the question, would you date yourself? Work in progress though I may be, yes, I would date myself. None of us are perfect and we are constantly changing. I’ve never understood people who wait to have children until everything is “just right” because, really, when is that? So for those of you who can’t really understand why I continue to consider dating rather than just embracing my singleness, please understand that I think that we never know what will come our way and waiting for “the right time” doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. I enjoy being partnered and, while I refuse to lose myself the way I have in the past, I think there are definite benefits to having love in your life.

That said, this weekend was an awesome chance to remember the things I love about myself. I had a blast with my friend. She and I are a lot alike. She is the person I think I might have been had I not taken the path I chose. She has a great career, close friends, a funky apartment, sweet cats, etc. I would enjoy living her life. But I think I would be lonely because, again, I like being in a relationship. So I’m going to continue to go to church and meet new friends. I’m going to try some of the activities people mentioned. And if and when I get into a relationship, I WILL NOT allow the person (or myself) to change my participation in those activities. Hopefully I would find a guy who wanted to participate in things with me or who had things I, too, would want to participate in.

So here are the reasons I would date myself:
1. I am smart. I can talk intelligently about a wide variety of topics, write long letters/e-mails and talk on the phone for hours (if I have to – not my favorite thing).
2. I have a great smile.
3. I am very sensual and fun in bed.
4. I like to try new things – different restaurants, new activities, adventures, etc.
5. I have a career I love and can appreciate a man who also loves his career.
6. I do not love to shop, except for books. ;)
7. I have a very quirky sense of humor.
8. I love passionately and with all of my heart.

Working on… insecurity, trusting that all men aren’t cheating bastards who want someone “better”, codependency, etc. But these are all works in progress and I’m getting more confident every day. I’m starting a Boundaries class at church on my lunch hour one day a week and will continue to work on me. In the meantime, there is nothing wrong with meeting new people and having fun.

The awesome Jeff Mac has a great post on guys who aren’t ready to date and the first commenter there sums up where I’m at (or would like to be at) right now – i.e., just meeting new people, having fun, and seeing what is out there.

Comment from Sassy
Time March 25, 2009 at 8:24 am

As someone who was in the dating pool (boyfriend of one year and counting!) of divorced men, I understand this frustration. When I was first divorced and THOUGHT I was ready, I put my toe into the pool, including the internet pool. I dating some great guys, a few I fell for, a few fell for me. Looking back, I probably wasn’t ready (sorry to the guys who were first to get me single), but you have to start somewhere.

I know this is frustrating, but the way I’ve looked at this is some people, on both sides, are “practice” dating. So I slowed stuff down, stopped looking for the BIG romance and CRAZY sex and just relaxed, and enjoyed meeting people and doing new things. In essence took the pressure of having a “long-term” relationship and let things just evolve.

Met the BF in a singles activity group where I went to just meet people and share a few laughs. The best things just sneak up on you.

Great answer, Jeff! Good luck to Not Impressed.

March 29th, 2009  Posted at   Blogging
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Sunday Stealing: The Ginormous Meme

Welcome back to Sunday Stealing. Here we will steal all types of memes from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent memes. You may have heard of the expression, “honor amongst thieves”. In that age-old tradition, we also have our rules. First, we always credit the blog that we stole it from and we will “fess up” to the blog owner where we stole the meme. We also provide a link to the victim’s post. (It’s our way of saying “Thanks!”) We do sometimes edit the original meme, usually to make it more relevant to our global players, to challenge our players, sometimes to select that meme’s best questions, or simply to make it less repetitive from either this new meme or recently asked questions from a prior featured meme. Let’s go!

Today we ripped this meme off a blogger called Sama at Lazy Artist Girl. She doesn’t say from where she stole it. But, it was probably stolen at that blog as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft’s thieves might take some time. Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

1. Are you single? Yes

2. Are your parents still married? Yes. They believe that God joins two people for life and that there is nothing you cannot work through.

3. Are you in love? No.

4. Do you believe in love at first sight? I’m not sure.

5. Who ended your last relationship? Well, he technically ended it when he got violent in front of our son. I formally ended it by filing for divorce the next workday.

6. Have you ever been hurt by a breakup? Of course. Every breakup hurts.

7. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Yes, I’m sure I have.

8. Have you ever had a secret admirer? If I have, they haven’t told me.

9. Prefer love or lust? Love

10. Prefer a few best friends or many regular friends? A few best friends

11. Wild night out or romantic night in? Romantic night in

12. Back in the day: Been caught sneaking out? Never caught… ;) (Actually never had to sneak because I never had a curfew)

13. Ever wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? Oh yes…

14. Who are/is your best friend(s)? Ashante

15. Ever wanted to disappear? Often

16. First attraction: Smile or eyes? Eyes

17. Prefer intelligence or attraction? Intelligence

18. Last phone call you received? My Dad

19. Last thing you drank? Water

20. Before your current one, when was your last relationship? My last relationship was with Blue Eyes, which ended Valentine’s Day weekend. I’m not in a current relationship.

21. Do you and your family get along? Define “get along.” Yes, I suppose we do.

22. Would you say you have a “screwed up life”? No, I’d say I have a life with a lot of moving parts.

23. Have you ever gotten kicked out somewhere? If yes, do tell. I got kicked out of a restaurant in Germany because I was with a group of loud American teenagers and the owners hated Americans (and, perhaps, teenagers). I told them we were Canadian and they let us back in with promises of silence.

24. Do you trust all your friends? No, having a hard time with trusting most people 100% since my marriage ended.

25. Who knows the most about you? Probably my blog readers. LOL. Seriously, though, maybe my mother? I’ve moved a lot so I don’t know that any one person knows everything. My ex-husband, perhaps?

March 29th, 2009  Posted at   Blogging
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Oh, I feel soooooo much better! I had the most amazing weekend. My friend and I had a blast, just relaxing, talking, hanging out and having fun. We walked around town, did a little window shopping, ate delicious food, had some wine, watched a movie, and just basically shut the world out for a while, which I think we both needed. We have a lot in common and it was great to talk to someone who really gets me and where I’ve been. She even helped me rewrite my online dating profile, while simultaneously showing me how much fun you can have as a single woman.

So here, for your viewing pleasure, a weekend in pictures:

One of the Cutest MILP Babies (he was giggling and teasing me, then gave me the tour of His House – soooooo cute!):
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His Mama went out with me for delicious Tex-Mex (yum!), great conversation and margaritas and we had a blast but, alas, no pics.

However, I do have a picture of the hottest, most incredible hot tub. My friend took me up there after dinner for about an hour of soaking and relaxation. It has an incredible city view and was a definite high point!
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My friend had the most amazing Scotch collection, but it burned the hell out of my mouth so I stayed away after the first taste. She promised me the chance to return another weekend to try some others.
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In the interim, I stuck with wine:
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Today we visited a toy store (no, not that kind – get your minds out of the gutter) and I picked up a few things for Pumpkinhead:
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Then we stopped by a famous cupcake trailer where my friend had a whipped cream-infused cupcake:
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She let me pose with it for a little goofy fun!
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And, although I didn’t eat one at the time because I didn’t want to fall into a sugar coma, I did buy one without the whipped cream to take home for tonight so I can scarf it before sleep:
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March 29th, 2009  Posted at   Blogging
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  • cleaning sons toyroom. wow, he is spoiled!! soooo many toys. And the bookshelves are overflowing. #
  • Just added myself to the http://wefollow.com twitter directory under: #blogger #singleparent #dating30s #
  • Opine on the meaning of true love over @DivaOfLove and try to win $100. http://tinyurl.com/d5mgt5 #
  • Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-03-22: Drowning my sorrows in nonfat latte with whipped cream at starbucks. Emot.. http://tinyurl.com/d4fb3o #
  • Top Five Lists: GoogieBaba is challenging us to list the top five men and women we would sleep with if we had th.. http://tinyurl.com/d3j57n #
  • Conflicting Advice: A few weeks ago, John Gray’s Mars/Venus blog was telling me to get out there and date .. http://tinyurl.com/cayqrq #
  • Is throwing it all away an appropriate cleaning method? I’m apparently in a depression-induced donation/tossing mood with my stuff. #
  • Come to Ultimate Blog Party. Share tips for activities to relieve funk, then visit other partygoers’ sites! http://tinyurl.com/PTLMUBP #
  • Ultimate Blog Party: Welcome readers from 5 Minutes for Mom’s Annual Ultimate Blog Party. Last year’.. http://tinyurl.com/dajpob #
  • OTC Morning-After Pill: The NY Times reports that a Federal Judge ruled today that the FDA must relax restrictio.. http://tinyurl.com/d72277 #
  • Please visit the Liz Logelin Foundation today to support widow(ers)/kids and honor her life. http://tinyurl.com/logelinbday @mattlogelin #
  • When I worked for outside counsel, in-house counsel were seen as disorganized morons. Now I’m on the other side and OC sucks! Interesting.. #
  • Can you keep a secret?: I am so excited I just want to cry (again – ugh!) Today my son came home with a super-se.. http://tinyurl.com/c9w32s #
  • Forget this adult thing. Can’t I just hide out in Margaritaville and emerge when this funk ends? Boo hiss!! #
  • Contra la Corriente – for Dads House: Over at Dads House, David is tempting us with the lovely Gloria Estefan an.. http://tinyurl.com/daeqk3 #
  • What Meyers-Brigg Style is your Blog Persona?: Ha. T found a tool that analyzes your blog to figure out what you.. http://tinyurl.com/c9sy5v #
  • Up early, a bit overwhelmed by everything on my plate in the next 36 hours at work. Hope I can get it all done! #
  • Roaming the streets with my child. Bad mom! Errands- bank, storage unit, gas, etc. Must also pack for trip and write memo for work! #
  • Still in Clear Lake; meeting in Galleria in 20 minutes. No pressure… (no coffee or breakfast yet to make it interesting) #
  • Pumpkinhead lost another tooth this morning (#3). Chapin doesn’t believe in “that crap” so I told PH the tooth fairy only visits at mommy,s. #
  • He will have to wait until Monday, poor kid, but that is better than his Dad bursting his bubble. #
  • Just leaving work for 3-hour roadtrip. Boss sent me on vacation with work, too. Ugh. But at least I can do it in a hot tub with a margarita! #
  • Ready for the Weekend: Quick post:
    I am so psyched. My son just got his good citizen award and he was really ha.. http://tinyurl.com/cx67ky #
  • Relaxing: I made it to my destination. Just the 3.5-hour drive from my town to this town was relaxing. I put my .. http://tinyurl.com/ck758q #
  • Cuddled and kissed the sweetest little MILP baby; now eating Migas for brunch. Mmmm! #

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March 28th, 2009  Posted at   Dating, MILS
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I made it to my destination. Just the 3.5-hour drive from my town to this town was relaxing. I put my headphones on, plugged into my iPod and sang at the top of my lungs. Stopped once for a bottle of water and a latte at Starbucks. Drove slow because I was driving my Dad’s crappy car that was making a weird squealing noise, but it got me here. And I can’t wait until the morning when I get to go see Lag Liv and her cute son!!

The ride up gave me a lot of time to think and reflect. This week we had our last session of my Divorce Recovery class. The psychologists taught us about healthy relationships. They said that we need to come up with a list of Must Haves, which will constantly evolve as we do, and a list of Dealbreakers. We need to be willing to walk away IMMEDIATELY if we see any of the dealbreakers AND if any of the Must Haves are missing. If they are really Must Haves and if we are looking for a long-term relationship that will work, why compromise? That said, again, they did say that the must haves can evolve. But I thought that was interesting.

They gave the example of a man who comes from a family of alcoholics and knows he doesn’t want to date someone with a drinking problem but he goes out on three dates with a woman who drinks to excess before cutting it off. Why does it take him three dates to do that? I went through something similar with Blue Eyes. He had anger issues. Whether he thought it was a problem or not, it was a dealbreaker for me because it was something I had a hard time with in my marriage and with my parents and don’t want to keep dealing with. But despite repeated Red Flags that tied my stomach in knots, I kept going back for more. And it wasn’t until he broke my heart over something completely unrelated to his anger that I was able to take the necessary step to move on. So now I’m praying for the strength to recognize the Must Haves and the Dealbreakers in the future and cut things off sooner, just as my recent date modeled to me when he said, “Thanks but no thanks.”

While the Dealbreaker list is fairly easy for me, it’s the Must Haves that are hard. What are some Must Haves that you would choose? I’m not sure I know… All the ones I can think of are somewht negative and kind of related to the Dealbreakers (i.e., Not Abusive). How do I pick positive ones that are MUSTS versus optional?

March 27th, 2009  Posted at   MILS, Mommy stuff
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Quick post:

I am so psyched. My son just got his good citizen award and he was really happy and proud. I cried. Now I’m tossing stuff in a suitcase and heading out West for the weekend to relax with some friends. There will be Mexican martinis, hot tubs, and SLEEP! Woo-hoo!!!

I also have plans to get some cuddle time with one of the cutest little MILP babies around! ;) I might just have to smuggle him home in my suitcase. Cute, cute, cute!!

Now off to work. Boo. :(

March 25th, 2009  Posted at   Law School
   |   6 Comments

Ha. T found a tool that analyzes your blog to figure out what your “blog persona’s” personality type is. I’d say they got it partially right, except I am definitely a planner – control issues.

ESFP – The Performers

The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don´t like to plan ahead – they are always in risk of exhausting themselves.

The enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation – qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.

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