So it may be hard to understand but Chapin and I have pretty much settled into a cordial relationship where we talk when we have to (usually about Pumpkinhead or the house/taxes/misc. leftover joint stuff) and otherwise we don’t talk. I’m kind to him; he’s kind to me and neither of us badmouth the other in front of our child. We both feel that our son needs to feel like his parents can get along and that is the most important thing.

However, neither one of us really enjoys going to the other person’s place. Chapin doesn’t like coming over to pick up Pumpkinhead and I don’t really like going to his apartment. Chapin has Pumpkinhead every Wednesday evening while I go to my divorce support group at a local church. That was working out fine for a few weeks and then Chapin’s cell phone got cut off when he stopped paying the bill. Where before I would just call him and he would bring Pumpkinhead out to the car, now I have to go up and knock on the door.

So tonight we spent the evening talking about forgiveness at my divorce group. The focus is on how, through forgiving our spouse or choosing to let some things go, we are really freeing ourselves from bitterness and anger and choosing to move forward with our lives. I like that. One woman said she had no desire whatsoever to talk to her ex; however, he left when her daughter was just days old. Her daughter doesn’t know any different. I told her that my son knows how we were before and that if I was just to cut off all communication with my ex, that would alienate my son more than anyone. Even if we didn’t say anything to him, he would probably feel like he had to pick a side. So I am kind to Chapin and I at least nod and grimace/smile in the general direction of his girlfriend. Hell, my Mom’s a southern gal. She raised me with manners if nothing else.

Tonight, however, those manners were seriously put to the test when I knocked on the door to pick up my son. The door swung open and my ex-husband was standing there in his underwear and a t-shirt. Fine, nothing I haven’t seen before. But his (live-in) girlfriend was laying on the couch under a blanket wearing nothing but a wifebeater. Geez. They knew I was coming. Our son was asleep in the next room. Couldn’t they have held off for a bit longer? VOMIT. To make it worse, it was the same couch we made love on for years while our co-sleeping son slept peacefully in our bed (hey, you have to get creative when you co-sleep). So that made it doubly icky. Could have lived without that mental image, thank you very much!!!

Oh well. As long as my kid is happy and my ex is spending time with him, I could really give a shit what he does. But I’ll be crossing my fingers that he gets his cell phone re-activated soon so that we can avoid any similar scenes. Not sure my poor wittle brain can take it.