| My friend, T, has been encouraging me to see a naturopath for a while now. Her and my friend, Rachel. And my former massage therapist, Lizabeth. Okay, fine, I’m stubborn. 
Well tonight I got over myself and went to see a doctor recommended by my current massage therapist. I really enjoyed talking to him, although it was a bit overwhelming to update my pain history sheet (now three single-spaced pages), surgical history (now a 1.5-page chart) and family medical history (adding additional death and disease). He basically confirmed what I already knew, which is that my immune system is in the toilet and that I need to build it back up to help me deal with the immune system/adrenal response to stress which causes my illness(es) to flare. What I like about him is that he is a complementary medicine specialist and wasn’t rushing in to tell me how my doctors don’t know anything or how I need to immediately stop the medication I’m on. Instead, he will introduce several supplements at a time over several months along with a whole foods meal plan to help me get the nutritional support I need to address the deficiencies I have and see how that helps.
First off, Cod Liver Oil (ew!) with extra Vit. D — 1 Tbsp 2x/day to provide Omega 3s and assist with my digestive process. Also bile salts to compensate for the lack of a gall bladder/intrinsic factor and to aid in digestion (one with each meal). An organic plant-based multivitamin to add alongside my current multivitamin (once a day) and these special plant enzymes to that fight pain (once an hour for 72 hours to see how my pain improves). I like that he uses a quality supplement provider, Standard Process, with a long history rather than a new, fly-by-night outfit (makes me feel more secure that he knows what he’s doing). I’m going back on Monday and we will talk about modifications to my diet and additional supplementation. I have to pee on a Ph stick every morning to test my levels (calcium?) and keep a food diary (blah). I’m up for it. I can’t sit around and complain about the pain and not try to do something about it. I’ll keep you all posted on the results.
Nope, this post is about self-image. I’m such a weirdo when it comes to that. You know what’s strange? I don’t have an issue with my looks. Lose 100lbs and then watch your body change through pregnancy and see a beautiful child come out of you and see if you give a shit what people think about how you look (I now truly understand that song “You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman“). I do feel inadequate in certain ways (am I good enough, lovable enough, sexual enough, smart enough, etc.), but, perhaps oddly, looks usually aren’t one of those areas. Hell, I spend too much time staring at myself naked in the mirror marveling over the fact that I actually have curves (as opposed to straight up and down), that my breasts, though small, are so much fuller than before I had [My Son], and that I have beautiful shoulders and collarbone area (love it!). Hey, I have plenty to complain about. My looks are the least of my worries. So tonight I had to giggle a bit at the look on my doc’s face when I ragged on him for a remark about my looks. 
You should have seen his face. He stepped back into the corner of the room and was like, “Um, no, not at all. Um, that’s not what I meant. Um, I just meant, well, that you must be feeling down.” Then he saw me grinning and he laughed, too. I said, “I was just playing with you, man.” He laughed and said, “That’s okay. I can take it.” 
