Archive for February 22nd, 2009

February 22nd, 2009  Posted at   Dating, Single Parents
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Several of you have asked what happened on my “romantic” weekend away with Blue Eyes. Long story short, Valentines weekend started off badly and got worse from there, complete with his bitching over having to purchase a $12 bouquet of flowers (Good God, the expense!) and an unsigned card because the Hallmark contents “said it all”. We’d been dating six months and were on different pages. He felt I was giving him everything he wanted and said he could envision a future together. I felt like things were lacking and was communicating my needs but they weren’t being met. In the end, we were just on two different pages. And both of us deserve more. He deserves a partner whose heart will break for him. Mine wasn’t whole to begin with. I deserve someone who will adore and cherish me and do the little things that make me happy without feeling burdened by it.

Blue Eyes would tell you I am insecure and that I blow things out of proportion. He’d be right. I have a huge heart and I tend to lead with it. That means huge feelings throughout the spectrum and liking to know where I stand or at least get a bit of feedback. I would tell you he has anger and maturity issues and that’s a road I’m not willing to travel down again. He wouldn’t admit it but I’m right (any man that pulls his pants down and yells in frustration in the middle of a parking lot in front of his girlfriend and daughters has issues!) He’s also kind and smart and sweet and loving. But the other issues override those. Obviously we both have things to work on but, all that aside, relationships shouldn’t be that hard.

We were out on a boat with Blue Eyes’ brother and his fiance and daughter last weekend when I received a comment for approval basically pointing out that if I put up with bullshit from the men in my life, that is a strong message to Pumpkinhead. That comment slapped me hard. I tried to talk to Blue Eyes about it at the time but he blew me off. The commenter said, “Don’t let [Pumpkinhead] misunderstand what real love is.” He deserves more and, damn it, so do I! So even if it means being single for a long, long time, I am going to focus on not entering into a serious relationship with anyone who can’t love me the way I deserve to be loved. In the meantime, I’d better find a good FWB and get Chapin to actually exercise his visitation so I can have “me” time. ;) And work on the damn self-esteem issues. If I don’t love me, no one else will.

February 22nd, 2009  Posted at   Dating
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Sunday Stealing: The Stolen Sex Meme

In honor of my recent breakup with Blue Eyes, I though this week’s Sunday Stealing meme was especially appropriate. May as well remember what I liked about sex while it’s somewhat fresh in my mind. :lol:

1. Is there any one of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with? Sure, better to have sex with a friend than a stranger.

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night? Anytime is a good time, but I prefer morning or afternoon because it tends to energize me rather than wear me out.

3. What side of the bed do you sleep on? Left

4. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money? Not unless you count strip poker. Although I do think I was offered some money freshman year in college to put them back on after one particularly bad night streaking across campus in lingerie with my suitemate. :???:

5. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath? Yes

6. Do you watch/read pornography? Yes, but apparently this makes me an odd girl.

7. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed? Both. Aggressive at the right times; passive at the right times.

8. Do you love someone on your blogroll? No

9. Would you choose love or money? Love, hands down.

10. Your top three favorite kinks in bed? That’s for me to know and the men who sleep with me to find out. :mrgreen:

11. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually? Yes, I was raped when I was a teenager.

12. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex? Under the stars

13. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex? Up against the back of an outhouse in the middle of a field surrounded by pigs and cows (ties for weirdest with the middle of a public park in DC surrounded by homeless men on park benches and random strangers on the nearby streets).

14. Have you ever been caught having sex? Not unless you count the homeless guys in the park in DC. But they didn’t really “catch” us.

15. Ever been to a bar just to get sex? No. I’ve only ever had sex with people I know.

16. Ever been picked up in a bar? Nope. :neutral: Guess I need to get out there, huh?

17. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex? My girlfriends and I all kissed each other when we were about 8 to see what a kiss felt like. It was weird and waaayyy too much teeth. That is all.

18. Had sex in a movie theater? Define sex…

20. Had sex in a bathroom? Yes

21. Have you ever had sex at work? No, but it’s a fantasy. Probably never would actually do it though.

22. Bought something from an adult store? Um,
hell yeah

23. Do you own any sex toys?
See #22

24. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film? Yes to pics; no to film. But I have many, many more of them. TMI – Getting men to send you pictures of themselves naked or hop on a webcam is surprisingly easy.

25. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name? Yes. :oops: I once called my ex-husband my son’s name during sex but it was totally innocuous and related to him jabbing me with his elbow. Knee-jerk reaction.

26. Do you think oral sex constitutes as a form of intercourse? Yes, it is very intimate.

27. What’s your favorite sexual position? Again, that’s between me and the people I sleep with.

28. What’s your favorite sex act? Again, that’s between me and the people I sleep with.

29. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time? No.

30. How many Sunday Stealing players do you think will not post this meme this week? A lot! People are surprisingly prudish about these things.

February 22nd, 2009  Posted at   Blogging
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  • Weekly MILP Roundup #85: This week’s roundup is up at A Little Fish in Law School.
    The Weekly MILP (Moms.. http://tinyurl.com/cggvt4 #
  • Because I’m Worth It: This weekend I received a comment for approval from a child of divorce on my post, Seeing .. http://tinyurl.com/boow89 #
  • Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-02-15: Improving: I wasn’t sure if the extra Zonisamide would do the trick.. http://tinyurl.com/b667pl #
  • A Bit More Good News: I had some more good news this weekend that has taken some of the pressure off. My tenants.. http://tinyurl.com/cce3ob #
  • Watch Me Let Him Fly: http://tinyurl.com/d6×9hv #
  • Life Changes and a To Do List: Making some life changes right now. Feeling better physically, getting there emot.. http://tinyurl.com/ar6k49 #
  • The cutest kid: Pumpkinhead has discovered e-mail. My mother set him up with a Gmail account and it’s his .. http://tinyurl.com/dmbuo8 #
  • Insecurity: I’ve come to kind of a crossroads with my parents, with work, etc. For a long time I have felt.. http://tinyurl.com/afumm9 #
  • Not Gonna Happen: Tweet This Post  http://tinyurl.com/bg9bp4 #
  • Making Goals: So this self-esteem book has a whole section on planning to achieve your goals, whether they are v.. http://tinyurl.com/dc5rb8 #
  • How Many Times?: When I got divorced, I remember my ex-husband saying “If you’d only told me. If I o.. http://tinyurl.com/cgt469 #
  • Did water aerobics with Dad, shaved legs, lotioned up with the expensive stuff, now working on sexy nails for night out tomorrow. #
  • Busy, busy: This has been an insanely busy week! I’ve had back-to-back meetings and been working from home.. http://tinyurl.com/am7g6f #
  • Just had the most amazing fresh raspberry vinegrette dressing on my spinach salad. Love fresh made. YUM! #
  • Good Gut: So my gut may be sliced and diced but it sure does give me strong signals. Insecurity aside, I do tend.. http://tinyurl.com/akd5xc #
  • Weekly MILP Roundup #86: The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup** is the brainchild of Saramel (.. http://tinyurl.com/dke3hp #
  • What I Love About Sundays: Have I mentioned lately that I adore my little Snugglebug? We’re off to his Dad.. http://tinyurl.com/b3abru #

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February 22nd, 2009  Posted at   Divorce, Mommy stuff
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Have I mentioned lately that I adore my little Snugglebug? We’re off to his Dad’s apartment to drop off some stuff (and because Chapin hasn’t picked up Pumpkinhead at all this week so I’m giving them at least 10 minutes for a hug, for Pete’s sake!!) Then we’re going to go pick up some supplies to make a spring snow globe. I’m psyched. Should be a ton of fun. My Dad’s busted his ass all weekend putting Pumpkinhead’s fort back together in the backyard here. It looks great and Pumpkinhead is thrilled!!!

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Shirley the Cute Cat was the best possible addition to our family last May. Talk about Snugglebugs! Now if the little Princess would stop taking off her breakaway collars! She’s removed four in the past year so I think it’s time for a regular one.
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February 22nd, 2009  Posted at   Law School, MILS, Mommy stuff, Women in Law
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The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup** is the brainchild of Saramel (retired). It is hosted on a rotating basis at the PT-LawMom, A Little Fish in Law School, and A New Duck blogs and is usually posted no later than Monday morning. Next week’s MILP Roundup will be hosted by New Duck.

This week in the MILPosphere:

First up, go give PD Surrogate some support. She’s balancing her full-time job as a public defender, single mom to a seven year-old and a second twin surrogate pregnancy. Right now she’s in a lot of pain with migraines and they aren’t getting any better. :(

ProtoAttorney also needs some hugs. Between pet death, vomiting and evil job interviews/rejection, she’s ready for a better week!

Go give Trannyhead some bar exam luck vibes, not that she needs them. She’s super-Hawt and she is going to rock it! Duh.

Shelley illustrates the delicate balancing act of working moms as she takes her sick toddler to work with her

Butterflyfish is going balls-to-the-walls in her job search

Over at New Duck, it’s not her, it’s them (corrupt, evil bastards)

Dakota is preparing for the end [and reinforcing my decision not to return to law school. A sampling from her latest hilarious post: "A lawyer? Really? Seriously? So, was it the fantastic hours, the great reputation or the enormous student loans that first attracted me to the profession? Maybe it was the killer 2-day exam at the end of a HUGELY expensive 4-year education that if you don't pass you don't get to play the game?"]

LEO is debating the merits of continuing to live in one of the most expensive housing markets (and shakiest state economies) in the country.

I need some of whatever Lag Liv’s been drinking. ;)

Certifiable worries that she’s in over her head. She’s not, she’s just overwhelmed (hahahahaha).

Magic Cookie shares her goals as she starts work (go wish her luck!)

PBB did a similar post based on Magic Cookie’s post and has some excellent goals for how to turn an 18-month stint into great opportunities for learning and career growth

The post where Googie Baba uses “excited utterances” in a real life scenario. Why this tickles me, I have no clue.

Cee shares the Top Ten Ways a Baby Enhances Your Life

If you would like to have your blog added to the MILP blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at their respective sites.

**Hat tip to the “original” Roundup Evan Schaeffer’s Legal Underground and Thanks, But No Thanks

February 22nd, 2009  Posted at   Women in Law
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So my gut may be sliced and diced but it sure does give me strong signals. Insecurity aside, I do tend to listen to my gut instincts. When I don’t, I usually regret it. An example of a good gut instinct is currently splashed across the front pages of most major newspapers this week. Back in 2005 when we were moving to this town, we came down for a week so that we could find a house and jobs. One of the first interviews I was supposed to go to was at Stanford Financial for a bilingual paralegal position. I left the recruiter’s office and had a gnawing gut feeling the whole way home about it. When I arrived back at my parents’ house, I mentioned the feeling and they encouraged me to go with it and just cancel the interview even though I had no way of knowing if I would get anything else in the short time I had to find a job. Our house in DC had already sold and we needed work and a place to stay in order to make the move. But the feeling was strong that it wasn’t the place for me. I called the recruiter and told her to cancel the interview. She was royally pissed and canceled me as a client but I felt really relieved. I can’t explain why I felt so weird about it but it was the strongest gut feeling I can remember in a long time. Fortunately by the end of the week I had offers from three large firms in town and that position was forgotten.

Fast forward to today. I have a friend who worked in the legal department there and always talked about the insane hours and equally insane and generous quarterly bonuses. Fortunately she got out over a year ago. Money aside, I wouldn’t have wanted to work those hours (and we won’t even go there on the ethical issues). Thank God I didn’t take that position. My neighbor at the house we owned worked for Mr. Stanford in a personal capacity and is probably now out of a job. His skills are transferable but the type of work he does costs a lot of money and I’m not certain about demand. He has three kids and a wife counting on him for support.


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