Ugh

Made it through Monday with just a few tears. I talked to my boss and, for once, got some praise! He told me he has every confidence in my abilities, that he was fine with me taking time off law school and that he wants me to do whatever I need for me. I know, I know, I should have kept it to myself. He doesn’t know all the gory details but I did explain that I’ve had quite a bit of stress lately and am trying to relieve some of it through taking time off law school so I can focus on doing the best job possible at work and spend some time concentrating on my son. He seemed to understand.

Made the $2,300 payment to the law school today. Ick. And called Pumpkinhead’s psychiatrist because he was BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS all weekend. :shock: I’m thinking the amphetamine she put him on (Adderall) isn’t working. :roll: She wants to see him Wednesday at 2 p.m. Of course. And I have an Ob/Gyn appt at 11:15 so I guess I’ll go into work in the morning and then work from home in the afteroon. Sigh

Meanwhile my stomach keeps feeling lousy. I’m taking my anti-anxiety meds and they work… as long as I don’t think about things. Sigh… Remembered today that my Lowes and Home Depot cards were in my purse along with my corporate credit card (CRAP!). Also Pumpkinhead’s passport… Damn it all.

E-mailed the Dean. She said I can take spring semester off but have to come back in the summer for Admin Law or I will get an F. I took an incomplete in it last summer due to my unexpected surgery and the school’s policy is retake within a year or get an F. No problem for one course that won’t be offered again at night until Fall 2010, but she said it is a problem with this class. If it’s offered, I must take it.

I am apparently super-depressed. And I have a headache that just will not quit. I am in class right now and can hear the teacher talking but just can’t seem to absorb what she is saying. That’s kind of been how my whole semester has gone. I need to go get a stapler. If I can staple all of the research materials I’m pulling together for my paper, perhaps I can actually start writing it.

9 thoughts on “Ugh

  1. Once things calm down, you’ll feel better. The semester’s almost over, then you get to rest, relax and sort everything out. If it makes you feel better about the credit cards, I remember from Internet Law that you shouldn’t have any liability if charges are made.

    Dorky sort of pick-me-up, but when I’m feeling depressed/anxious I pop in some dance music and make an ass of myself. Some guilty pop pleasure, like Kylie Minogue or something. Ideally I’m home alone at the time! ;) I’ve never been able to meditate to improve my mood, exercise is always what does it. (But it has to be fun, or it makes me feel worse, I hate exercise.)

  2. I have been contemplating taking up yoga… they say it helps with all the anxiety, helps quiet the mind. Of course what stops me is the fear that I will fall on my ginormous ass and will squash some sticklike yogi girl. But since you do not have a ginormous ass, maybe its something to consider for spring?

    We can do this together…. from across the county :-)

  3. Bwahahaha. Girl, my ass is the biggest part of me (next to my thighs). I’ve always thought that there should be a rule that your breasts should be proportionate to your butt. I have about 60% more butt than breasts. But you’ll never see it in pics because I rarely take side shots. Still, ask Ana or the MILP I met recently. BIG ASS.

    Point is, yoga is fun. My problem is my painful arms. It’s hard for me, when I’m in pain, to do the yoga positions that require balancing on them. I did yoga a lot before Pumpkinhead was born. I have Yoga for Dummies, several yoga DVDs (still in plastic, of course – practicing by osmosis) and last night I saw both WII and Nintendo yoga. I actually half considered buying the WII fit and doing the yoga. We could wirelessly connect and WII together so that if either of us fall on our butts, only we will know. :twisted:

  4. Wow, it really sounds like you are going through a lot. You’re such a strong woman that I know you can get through it. Taking time off of law school is probably the best thing that you can do right now. Focusing on what is keeping you distracted from school and work is the best solution. I hope that you continue to take care of yourself and surround yourself with people who love you.

  5. Hang in there! You’re in my prayers. I wish I could vent more on my own blog, but since my husband reads it, it’s not always easy to do that. I appreciate the fact that you are able to be so open on your blog. It makes me feel, on those days when I feel like I’m cracking up, that I’m not so alone!

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