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Met Chapin at the cell phone store at 10:45 a.m. We were attended to immediately. An hour-and-a-half later, after he had made 10 calls to different corporate reps, I finally told the salesperson I was leaving. Chapin called at 1:09 p.m. to say he was finally gone. Glad I didn’t stay. He paid $50 on my account to cover the new cell plus he offered me $100 of the money he owes me and half the cost of the storage unit rental. Go Chapin. Thank goodness he is being reasonable now!
DivorceCare this morning was all about how we can regain our “purity” and set boundaries with our prospective mates to please God. The video actually said something along the lines of “God thinks wild and fulfilling sex is awesome… when it is inside the marriage covenant.” Yes, I understand. And I also understand the idea that having sex with someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries about sex or who treats you like an object is not going to help your self-esteem and foreshadows their inability to respect you on other issues. That’s the point, I believe. Date and marry Christian men who will respect your boundaries. Don’t act like a ho to validate yourself. Must have missed that part in Sunday school.
But I promise that I did not laugh when they said, “Oh, and masturbation is just not acceptable in the eyes of God. Pray for Him to fulfill your desires in other ways.” Okay… I might have snorted a bit. I did, however, fall out of my chair when the priest on the video discussed pornography and its special place in the Devil’s toolkit. 
Hey, I was raised by a pair of free-spirited hippie Christians. They are all about God’s Word… but in terms of bodies and sex and all that stuff, freedom and happiness (preferably, but not necessarily, with a husband) were their words. Thank God. 
You should have heard the woman who had been married 30 years. She practically sputtered and said, “But what if you wait until marriage and then he is bad?!? I just cannot go through that again!” ROFL.
Blue Eyes came over around 12:30 a.m. Brought awesome pictures he had taken of various members of my family at a gorgeous downtown location yesterday. Hooray for Christmas card pictures! My Mom was soooooo excited this morning when I showed her.
Anyway, both Blue Eyes and I have colds and he has a sore tooth. So the green bean recipe didn’t turn out that great with both of us sniffling and the occasional, “Ow, my head!” But even bad green beans are good and he slept over for much-needed cuddles. Hopefully we can get back in the kitchen later this week after I turn in this paper I’m going to work on all day (due Tuesday).
I have a feeling the even bad is good theme will follow me through the next few weeks as I tackle papers and exams. I cannot even begin to talk about how completely unprepared I am for my one exam. I have an outline (thank you ProtoAttorney!) and I have study cds. That is about as prepared as I am. Reading consistently during the semester might have been helpful… okay, reading at all would really have helped. But I guess we’ll see about the whole stair-step theory of exam grading. I’m taking it all one day at a time. First up, ethics in negotiations. Once that’s over, I will see about my exam. Fortunately I wrap it up with what should at least be a more interesting and career-relevant paper on asset forfeiture under the UNCAC.
P.S. Babeland is offering 10% Off of your order between now and Wednesday, 12/3. Enter the coupon code “secret” during checkout.
Stretched out on my couch. Dressed in black lace, red panties and a silk robe. A Susie Bright anthology at my side. Candles burning softly in the background. Strong, sweet man on his way over.
Ex-husband calls to tell me that the cell phone plan we thought we’d split into two separate plans is still in my name and, oh-by-the-way, he’s opened another line.
Spend an hour on the phone with Sprint only to find out that, yes, we must return to the store TOGETHER.
Blue Eyes has a toothache and is feeling sick. I’m starting to think my green beans might be spoiled… or a little rotten. 
Oh, and I have to write a 10-page paper I have not even started between now and Tuesday at 6. And work. And take my son to therapy. And go see my neurologist Monday about this FUC&*&G pain and tingling that Just.Will.Not.Quit!
Crap.
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The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup** is the brainchild of Saramel (retired). It is hosted on a rotating basis at the PT-LawMom, A Little Fish in Law School, and A New Duck blogs and is usually posted no later than Monday morning. Next week’s MILP Roundup will be hosted by New Duck.
The last time I hosted the Roundup, it was #69 (tee-hee) so it is appropriate that I host it again during this week of the Great Thanksgiving Green Bean Roundup. A lot of hawt bloggers (all MILFs, several MILPs) have written posts about having messy, delicious, uncomfortable, inconvenient, fun, and sneaky green beans with their boyfriends, husbands, wives, lovers and friends. You know how I like my green beans, so this was right up my alley. If you’d like to read all of the posts, head over to Trannyhead’s for the links.
And now from the rest of the MILPosphere:
ProtoAttorney is going balls-to-the-wall (Go Girl!!)
GoogieBaba probably had the most authentic Thanksgiving of anyone
Andrea shares the joys of life in litigation
Certifiable is recovering from surgery in style
Shelley suffered at the mercy of the evil airlines this week
Cee reflects on all her blessings
Magic Cookie discusses billable hour-free law firms
LagLiv tells us her Thanksgiving tale
Dakota discusses the way law school shifts the dynamics in a family
After a few weeks balancing Mommyhood with a busy Biglaw gig, BA takes time to reflect on the important things.
LEO hit the 36-week mark
Citations sees why legal secretaries and paralegals have such frustrating jobs
Butterflyfish is rocking out to get herself through exams
Over at a New Duck, the turkeys are playing
PDSurrogate spent the week on a sexual contact case. It’s not green beans, but it’s spicy.
If you would like to have your blog added to the MILP blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at their respective sites.
**Hat tip to the “original” Roundup Evan Schaeffer’s Legal Underground and Thanks, But No Thanks
Today was a rough day for Pumpkinhead. I think that a week of no school, new medication (Concerta now) and his cousin and uncle coming in have really thrown him for a loop. His behavior today was horrid. Lots of tantrums, tears and melodrama. My parents took him to buy a tree this morning along with my brother and nephew while my best friend and I went shopping. Then we took Blue Eyes’ daughter to the movies. By the time we got home around 3:30, my mother was at the end of her rope. Then, while Pumpkinhead was outside throwing a fit on the swing because he wasn’t allowed to play with the girl across the street, my nephew (freshly recovered from partially collapsed lung/pneumonia) fell in the pool. Mind you, it was in the mid-70s today. But my mother completely flipped out. She raced out and helped get my nephew out of the pool. Then she physically dragged Pumpkinhead to my room and, when I opened the door, she grabbed his arm and shook him hard while yelling at him. All I saw was the end of it and I knew nothing of the earlier parts of the day. I brought him into my room and cuddled with him in bed, trying to explain that sometimes Mimi gets madder than is called for but inside I was furious that she had treated him that way. He was so scared.
So we all escaped to Blue Eyes’ house for dinner and movies and let my parents be. But when we arrived home and the children were asleep in bed, I had it out with my mother and reminded her that she tends to over-react and that grabbing/shaking my son is NEVER acceptable. We talked/yelled it out for a while. Finally, when we’d come to somewhat of an accord, I came inside and cried while my best friend gave me some good advice. She said that since we are all living together and raising Pumpkinhead while under enormous stress, we need to get together and decide on a discipline plan for him that each of us can follow consistently. I’m going to sit down with them tomorrow or Sunday and discuss this because I cannot keep allowing such outbursts to occur. This was a frustrating day parenting-wise.
Thanksgiving was lovely. Spent a great day with my family cooking and cleaning and then eating. Made banana bread with no nuts (yay!) and a splash of mandarin orange essence yum!). Dinner was lamb, turkey, steamed green beans, diet coke jello salad, roasted potatoes, cauliflower and candied something I didn’t eat. Stupid stomach made me sick (mmmm, pie!) and I ended up crashing at about 8 but otherwise it was an awesome day. And I found that I didn’t miss Chapin’s presence once, which surprised me since I thought it would be a hard day. Probably helped that we were at my mother’s house (versus my aunt’s house, where we always do family events and where they are still recovering from Ike).
Anyway, I wanted to take time to do a post on the things for which I am grateful:
1. My beautiful, healthy, kind, considerate, sweet, cuddly, tender-hearted son
2. My mother, who is alive after a very challenging year health-wise and who helps me in so many ways every day. Even when she’s driving me INSANE, I am so thankful to have her near.
3. My father, who is trying, even if it doesn’t always seem like it, and who loves me
4. Blue Eyes, who makes me feel content and peaceful and is very wise
5. My friend, Ashante, who, after reading about my crap year last week, immediately booked a plane ticket and flew down for Thanksgiving. She has always been there when it counts.
6. My amazing Mommy friends who have been there since we were all pregnant and who are such intelligent, special, giving women. (Elicia, Wendy, Katy, who don’t blog, are also counted in this list).
7. My friend, Ada, who is sweet and fun and a little naughty!
8. My blog-world friends who tell it like it is, support me when I’m down and offer a great sounding board. Especially for those who call me on my insecurity and occasional stupidity.
9. An interesting, challenging, exciting job with kind coworkers, great potential and excellent opportunities
10. God, my DivorceCare group, my therapist and my friend, Fred, who have gotten me through the worst year of my life with their compassion, faith and hope.
Please consider visiting Compassion today and supporting an AIDS orphan or child otherwise affected by HIV/AIDS. We are so blessed here and there are so many children living in unimaginable conditions that could use our help.
My super-hawt fellow MILP (hell, we are all super hawt – if you haven’t seen us IRL with our awesome Mommy racks, you are missing out!), Trannyhead, challenged her readers to write about the most delicious of topics, Green Beans. If you have never had green beans, I suggest you go over to TrannyHead’s blog and read all about the wonderousness, especially if, like her, you have to wait MONTHS to consume Green Beans with your husband because of a inconvenient war on the other side of the world. Anyway, since I have never been one to turn down a Tranny, here is my totally TMI (what did you expect?!?!) take on the topic (Blue Eyes, you can just skip to the bottom ‘kay?):
And a happy one at that. But you might be surprised to hear that I didn’t start consuming green beans until I was 18 (except for one bad experience at 15 that my therapist says doesn’t count). It wasn’t for lack of offers, but more because of my weird “good girl” core. I didn’t want to have sex until I was able to take care of any products of said consumption. 
Heck, until I discovered the super deliciousness of green beans, I wasn’t even consuming them alone. Yes, except for the one makeout session under a New Jersey pier with a boy from bible camp and an embarrassing plane makeout on a transcontinental flight with my now-ex-federal-con boyfriend 
, my teen years were rather repressed.
Fortunately salvation came in the form of a beautiful Honduran chef who spent his days serving politicians and pundits at a fancy Foggy Bottom establishment and his nights serving me at a hotel across the street from said restaurant. Hubba-hubba. It was totally hawt. 
Unfortunately, as is the case with super-hot Green Beans, other girls wanted a taste. And, after I underwent major surgery and was laid up on my back for several months, even though he was very giving ( 
), he ultimately needed more than my battered body could offer and, after dating me for about 9 months, he gave in to a waitress at work. I was crushed.
Fortunately my Best Gay Friend helped me heal with trips to the local “toy store” and bought me one of these. And I found that eating green beans alone could be almost as satisfying and much more emotionally safe than sharing the green beans with others. Sure, I ventured out and tried some Cypriot green beans (a little too fuzzy and not very filling). 
Spicy Mexican green beans. 
And, finally, I discovered Guatemalan green beans and decided they were pretty delicious and would suit me just fine. My pocketbook was much heavier with less frequent trips to the toy store (except for this, which is awesome for partnered sex). Monogamous green beans rock. And, even after 8 years, never got stale… for me, anyway.
Unfortunately, while I would be perfectly content consuming green beans 1-2x/week, Chapin was a hungry guy who needed to eat daily (whether I liked it or not) and ultimately his hunger overwhelmed him. As my readers know, he went the way of the hot Honduran. He also tended to think that because he couldn’t get enough green beans, neither would I. He had a high opinion of my attractiveness and desirability and was convinced that no man could resist me. ROFL. So his insecurity led him to turn his own insatiable green bean appetite on me and convince himself that I must have been sampling other green beans. And you know how that worked out.
Six months later, I’ve sampled a variety of green beans, talked way too much about green beans, read a lot of green bean blogs, had green beans via webcam, had green beans via text (at work!), and even had green beans with a married (but separated) man 
. Ultimately, however, I found a gourmet green bean that is amazingly delicious. 
I’m preparing them in ways I never have before and thoroughly enjoying myself. Looking back, I was very lucky to have started my green bean journey with a good lover (I was 18/he was 30) because I’ve only had yummy experiences, with only a few varieties that didn’t suit me. My friends talk about spending years in relationships with stale, canned no-name green beans. I have high standards for my green beans and have never had a problem asking for garnish or trying a new preparation and fortunately the guys I have been with aren’t shy either. I think that helps keep the green beans new and interesting.
So, readers, my best recipe for tasty green beans is as follows:
1) Don’t be afraid to eat green beans with different people and figure out what you like
2) Discover how to pop the lid off of your Green Beans (and his… tee-hee)
3) Spend some quality time consuming green beans alone. Great stress relief!
4) Once you settle on a brand, don’t be afraid to add in some condiments or spices to keep things fresh and new!
Happy Thanksgiving. May it be tasty in every way. (I, for one, will be eating steamed green beans and not having any “green beans” this weekend – boo hiss.) Blue Eyes has family over, as do I, so, although we may see each other, we’re both too old and inflexible for up-against-a-wall quickies so I think we’ll probably be pretty hungry by Sunday when the guests leave.) Fortunately he did see me a new picture of “the eyes” so I have a little inspiration if I find a few minutes of alone time. Hubba-hubba.
P.S. Sweetheart, here is another good reason God invented laptops… portability. Merry Christmas to me?
Feeling much better than I was on Monday night. It is 12:20 a.m., my room is clean and smells delicious thanks to the orange oil I use to dust, and I am ready for bed. I managed to finish my presentation and deliver it smoothly (yay!). Forty percent of my grade down, sixty percent to go! Next up, a 10-pager on ethics in negotiations due next Tuesday followed by my Torts exam on the 10th (better start reading!) and my asset forfeiture paper on the 19th.
Decided tonight that I am going to invite several classmates, a few coworkers and my handful of local friends to join me for dinner on my birthday. I turn 30 on December 28 (horrible time of year, I know!) and, darn it, I want to celebrate! I spent my 21st trying to get alcohol with my best friend, but she was 20 and we actually got turned down left and right. It was a bummer. I had been drinking at the gay bars since I was 17 (always looked much older than I was and they served me without batting an eyelash – yes, I was a total fag hag), but that night was just weird. Then I was married that summer. I am going to start 30 off with a bang!!
Any suggestions for awesome things to do over the next decade of my life (or, more specifically, on my birthday night)? Any stories about how much better your 30s are than your 20s? After living in an oppressive, emotionally abusive marriage for eight years, it can really only go up from here, right?
Ana and BC, if either of you would like to join me for Chinese on Saturday the 27th (that is if I didn’t completely scare you off at brunch the other day), I’d love to have you guys there. Let me know if you’d like to be added to the Evite list. I need fun people who know how to have a good time because after the friends with kids head home to relieve their babysitters, I’m planning to hit the town with whoever is left!
My best friend and Pumpkinhead’s Godmother, Ashante, is flying in from DC tomorrow. I cannot wait to see her!! 
My brother an nephew are flying in on Thursday. Praying for peacefulness. Okay, it is 12:30 a.m. and I have to sleep! I’m picking up Ashante at the airport at 5:45 p.m. and then, although I have yet to tell her this, we are off for an 1.5-hour-long drive (each way…) to pick up Blue Eyes’ daughter because he got stuck on call. She’s bringing her new Shih Tzu. We have Shih Tzus (love ‘em!) so I can’t wait to meet hers. Okay, really, sleepytime!
There is an article in the New York Times today that addresses the fact that many children with ADHD have the ability to concentrate very well on one or two things at which they excel. The example held out is Michael Phelps. The Times article examines whether it is that kids do well in spite of their ADHD or that the ADHD does something to heighten certain skills to the detriment of others. I thought it was an interesting article.
My brother, with his many problems including ADHD, is an exceptionally gifted singer. But his mother is a singer/songwriter. My son is reading at a 4th grade level and playing chess at 5. But his grandfather (my Dad) is a MENSA-level genius and his Mom started reading very young (2? 3?) and was called the Walking Dictionary in school (but cannot do math for anything!) I think that they got it right when they said that people display gifts despite the ADHD, not because of it.
