I’m sick. Blah. I just need a hug today.

Voted today (yay Obama) and then stopped at Einstein Bros. bagels for a cup of coffee. It was 8:15. And sitting in front of me in line was my Dad. Who was supposed to be at work. Yep, back to his hiding/pretending deal. This bipolar stuff sucks. I don’t even know him anymore. My mother is devastated.

And I have to take Friday off work. Pumpkinhead’s teacher called me in for a conference yesterday with the principal and the school counselor. Apparently he is “out of control” and “the loudest kid around” and “nobody wants to be his friend.” He’s “highly intelligent” with “lots of potential” but they “can’t stretch him if he continues to act this way.” The conversation turned to medication and all three women just about jumped across the table telling me he needs it now. They basically said that they can either put him in special ed for the smaller class size or I can medicate him and then he can “reach his potential” in gifted/talented classes but they won’t be able to let him do that if he can’t calm himself. I get it. But he is FIVE!!! This breaks my heart. I talked to his pediatrician. She helped me get in to see a psychiatrist Friday afternoon and I’m also taking him to the psychologist who tested him on Friday morning for cognitive behavior therapy, which will apparently teach him strategies to concentrate more. They said he cannot anticipate consequences and that is why he gets so upset when he does something and gets in trouble for it. I can’t watch him be broken by this. He comes home every night and when he hasn’t had a “good” day, he starts tearing up and says, “Oh, Mommy, I’m trying soooo hard to be good.” Wish I could wave a magic wand and fix this for him.