My friend, Christa, the brilliant writer, is currently working on editing an anthology of short horror stories entitled “Northern Haunts: 100 Terrifying New England Tales.” All proceeds from the book benefit the American Cancer Society and it is currently available for pre-order. If you are looking for a unique holiday present for someone that also has a charitable bent, please consider purchasing this book.
Archive for August, 2008
Weekend Plans
29
Aug
Well my trip to New Orleans is canceled. Yeah, okay, there’s a hurricane headed that way. But we actually canceled because all of the darn real estate agents are griping that Chapin’s stuff is still in the house. So instead of getting away for some R&R, I am stuck packing and cleaning. I’m going to give Blue Eye’s Chapin’s prized possession (his grill), which he did not get in the divorce decree but I’m sure assumes will be his. I’m also going to give my parents my wicked awesome washer and dryer because theirs are old and nasty. I might donate some of our dishes and other household goods and blankets to the local battered women shelter. I just hate to have to spend my weekend on this. Ugh.
Fortunately, unless he gets called in tonight (or tomorrow – he’s on call Sat/Sun), Blue Eyes has said he will come keep me company and do a little heavy lifting for me. Yay for strong men. My Dad has also said he will help but he’s pretty useless these days (sounds harsh but it’s the truth) so I am planning to spend Saturday packing and then head out to track down some day laborers on Sunday to help move the bulk of the stuff to the storage unit. I will probably put some items out on the curb and then post them on Freecycle. That usually works quickly. 
When/if Chapin finally returns, my current plan is to make him take Pumpkinhead for an entire weekend of Daddy/Son reconnecting time and I am going to go hole up for a weekend somewhere fun and enjoy some adult time! The bastard has had eight weeks of “recovery” time. It is MY turn! Hell, if I have my way he’ll come back on a Friday and I’ll hand over his truck and his kid and then hop on a plane myself. LOL. In reality, I’ll probably stick a bit closer to home (just in case) but I am definitely going somewhere.
Giggle Guts
29
Aug
Pumpkinhead and I just had the best giggle fest. Ever since he was an infant, he has had the biggest belly laugh that just sucks in everyone around him. There is no way not to at least crack a smile. So anyway, he came home sweaty and bright red from racing around with his little girlfriend across the street and drank a HUGE glass of ice water. His Daddy called for a quick bedtime chat with him (about time!) and then Pumpkinhead and I played with his bath squirt toys. Once he was satisfied that I was wet enough, he got out and we read Don’t Bump the Glump
Meme
29
Aug
Stole this one from A Woman in Law School.
1. My uncle once made his racist feelings known about my African American nephew.
2. Never in my life have I tried a single (non-prescription) drug or cigarettes.
3. When I was five my parents got mad because I put my Barbie on top of the car and they drove over it. Tee-hee. 
4. High school was one long melodramatic soap opera of my own making.
5. I will never forget to floss.
6. Once I met Dean Cain at a Princeton breakfast joint. He and the girl he was with gave up their seat for my bible study group.
7. There’s this boy I know who makes me laugh just by smiling.
8. Once, at a bar, I watched some freaky ass group gay porn.
9. By noon, I’m almost halfway through my daily routine.
10. Last night I could not sleep until about 1 a.m. and kept having nightmares about Chapin killing me.
11. If only I had lottery winnings to build myself a used bookstore and a house next to a large lake.
12. Next time I go to church might be this Sunday after Divorce Care.
13. What worries me most is that I will never truly know myself and trust my feelings and that I will be used/abused again.
14. When I turn my head left I see huge piles of laundry that need folding.
15. When I turn my head right I see a 1/4-full bottle of wine and a beautiful bunch of flowers I bought for myself today.
16. You know I’m lying when I can’t stop grinning and it’s inappropriate.
17. What I miss most about the Eighties is sitting up in a tree with my girlfriends reading Babysitters Club books.
18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be Hell, I don’t know! Too much wine in my system to figure that out!!
19. By this time next year I will know myself better and be able to seek out things/people that make me happy.
20. A better name for me would be Bronwyn.
21. I have a hard time understanding people who just don’t give a shit about others.
22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll be ready for someone to shoot me. Those LLMs must be on crack!!!
23. You know I like you if I smile a ton whenever you are near.
24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be whoever supported me in the process.
25. Take my advice, never think you can change a man. People do not change and they are usually clear about their real selves right up front.
Tipsy
29
Aug
It is 12:02 a.m. I am 3/4 of the way into a bottle of Southeastern Australian Merlot and I just ate half a jar of dill pickles. I’m listening to Diana Krall’s “All or Nothing at All” on iTunes. Blue Eyes came over (with props – woo hoo!) for a few hours and made me smile and laugh, which was definitely a HUGE improvement over the mood I came home in.
I spoke to Pumpkinhead’s teacher for a conference today. Long story short, we now have an appointment with a child psychiatrist for next Friday. 
I came home sad and worried. Blue Eyes cheered me up. Now I am having one more glass of wine (and a bunch of pickles…) before bed. Maybe my potassium is low? I’m having such weird cravings (balsamic-marinated tomatoes, salsa, etc.) which always seems to happen when one of my vitamins is low. Definitely time to go back to my PCP for a checkup.
I’m giving Chapin’s grill away. And maybe his free weights too. I think I should Freecycle some of his crap. Grrr. This weekend is going to SUCK!! I hate packing.
Desires
28
Aug
So my therapist wants me to work on listening to my inner voice and trying to figure out what I want in life and what makes me happy. Might sound like an easy assignment but I am a people pleaser. She told me to practice the following phrase: “I do not care to do that right now, thank you.” She also said that I need to remember that the reactions of others have little to do with me and learn to listen to my gut. So I have been going back to my youth to try to remember the things I enjoyed doing pre-marriage.
I love to journal but stopped keeping one after chapin laughed at me and called me stupid for doing so. He didn’t know about the blog (can’t use a computer) but would slam the lid of the laptop on my fingers if I wouldn’t get off the computer when he wanted my attention.
Anyway, I have already figured out a few things I like that I want to do. I used to love fishing off the pier or in the creek behind my house. i took pumpkinhead fishing recently and he is dying to go back so I’m going to buy him some supplies and get myself a nice pair of steel mesh gloves so I can handle touching the fish. I also want an herb garden just for the freshness and fragrance (chapin would also bitch every time I bought plants or flowers). And I want to go to a country bar and dance. I have never been but Blue Eyes used to work security for clubs so I am going to try to get him to ask me out to one sometime. He says he doesn’t dance but I can surely find a cowboy to indulge me if he won’t get out there with me (and then scoot right back to drink my beer with Blue Eyes when the song ends). Because I am going to try everything on my list, darn it, and overly jealous guys are permanently off that list. Fortunately Blue Eyes has been pretty accomodating of my other whims, especially the ones that benefit him (hubba, hubba) so hopefully he will go with it (or dance with me himself).
My other list items include going to a jazz bar with a girlfriend from work, a vacation to one of those beach resorts in a tropical locale, tubing down a river, berry picking, checking out the local art museums, having a picnic under the stars and camping in the backyard with pumpkinhead (guess I had better hop to it before the house sells and I no longer have a yard!)
I’ve already indulged my biker chick fantasy for six miles on relatively safe residential streets (thank you, blue eyes) but I should probably avoid the large hibiscus tattoo like my mom’s divorced friend got. With my luck, I’d get diseased or infected. You should have seen my hot, purple ears after I got my second set of holes as a teen!
Other than my to do list, my main goal is to think a moment before saying yes to anything. Pumpkinhead and I need to do some fun things together and I don’t want to take on any extra commitments that make life even harder, whether at work, school or at home. Saying no to my mother will be the hardest. “no, mom, I don’t care to go shopping with you today.”. Would you believe I hate to shop? Seriously. And she likes to go for HOURS!! Ugh. I also need to tell myself no, especially when it comes to studying versus something more fun like, say, blogging or reading blogs. Concentration is my top priority.
Deaf
27
Aug
I have been walking around with my iPod permanently in tow these days. I plug it into my cassette adapter in my car and then plug my headphones in as soon as I leave the car. My windows stay down/car roof open so that I can sing at the top of my lungs (yes, I am that girl). When I’m out of the car, I have apparently forgotten my grandfather’s admonition and now turn the music up so loud I cannot hear anyone or anything. It’s a nice little escape. Unfortunately one of my friends has been sending me goofy/dirty songs with lyrics that just should not be sung in polite company and now I have a particularly non-PC one stuck in my head. Argh. Must return to iTunes tonight to block the goofiness out with some Melissa Etheridge classics and maybe a little Aerosmith thrown in for good measure. I’m usually a country music girl but lately I’ve found myself returning to the 90s. Any recommendations for good angry rock “work out your feelings” music?
More Than Words
27
Aug
Eight years of marriage and time has taught me that men are not very complex creatures. As The Manual
This post may sound like the prelude to some deep reflection on my relationships, past and present, but it is really just a random musing courtesy of my iPod. I was listening to Extreme’s More Than Words on my drive in, a song that was a staple of my middle school dance-and-drama experiences. I suddenly realized after all this time that the guys sound like they are singing some sweet, romantic song but really it is about sex. Basically they are telling us that men truly aren’t interested in conversation and if you truly love a guy you should just give it up at his whim. Lol! I have been singing along to this song for years, never realizing what a sexist, pressure-filled plea it was. Crazy!
So ends today’s random musing.
First Day of School
26
Aug
Pumpkinhead has decided he NEVER wants to leave his teacher’s classroom. LOL! He had a blast.
I, too, am sooooo thrilled to be back in school. I had one class last night and my teacher is funny and friendly (yay) and I was excited to see my classmates again. I have two more classes tonight and still have a few chapters of my book to read. My former federal prosecutor professor assigned us a full non-fiction book-and-a-half for class. Not easy reading so I have kind of been avoiding it. Sigh… Fun lunchtime ahead!
