PT-LawMom

This week’s roundup is up at A New Duck.

The Weekly MILP (Moms in the Legal Profession) Roundup is the brainchild of Saramel (retired). It is hosted on a rotating basis at the PT-LawMom, A New Duck and A Little Fish in Law School blogs and is usually posted no later than Monday morning. Next week’s MILP Roundup will be hosted by Butterflyfish.

Pumpkinhead bounced out of bed at the crack of dawn this morning, eager to start his fun day. We’re going to the circus mid-morning and he cannot wait! He’s a little freaked out that they might paint his face (for some reason this is something that he hates and always worries people will make him do) or that the elephants will step on him. I reassured him that he never has to do anything that makes him uncomfortable and that I would never let the animals hurt him. He seemed relieved and then asked whether he could have cotton candy. Bleech. His uncle introduced him to that junk at Chucky Cheese a few months back. It’s his birthday so I’ll buy it for him. After the circus I think we will go out to eat but, other than that, Pumpkinhead’s birthday will be low-key. My parents bought him a computer and I bought him some Reading Rabbit educational games. He also needs a ton of clothes because he’s gone from a 5T/4 last summer to a 6/7 this year. I think he grew several inches while i was in the hospital!

Other than Pumpkinhead’s party time, my weekend will be pretty routine. I have a guy coming by any minute with a kit of moving boxes so I can start getting packed up and out of the house. I’m going to try to get him to bring the boxes upstairs and then I can set up several and just slowly pack each box this weekend. We went to IKEA last night to get some stuff for my new “apartment” at my parents’ house and I accidentally lifted a heavy bag with some sheets/quilts and now my side really hurts. Fortunately that has reminded me to take it slow and easy.

On Monday, after my morning court date and a full day of work, I have found a friend to accompany me to dinner and a movie and a babysitter to keep Pumpkinhead occupied. Hopefully that will help reduce the sadness of the day.

Hope all of you have fun weekends.

Do you ever feel like certain songs really peg where you are at a certain point in your life? What would your theme song be right now? With less than 72 hours until D-Day, here are a few of the ones I’ve been singing along to at full blast in my car (yes, I live in a continuous stream of random music):

1) My Give a Damn’s Busted by Jo Dee Messina

2) Cheatin’ by Sara Evans

3) Big Girls Don’t Cry by Fergiie

4) Strong Enough by Cher

5) Si Una Vez by Selena

6) “Let Him Fly” by the Dixie Chicks

7) Survivor by Destiny’s Child

Here’s a Quarter by Travis Tritt

9) Stupid Boy by Sarax Buxton

10) Bring on the Rain by Jo Dee Messina and Tim McGraw

11) I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor

12) Despues de Ti, Que? by Christian Castro

13) You’re Gone by Diamond Rio

14) No Sabes Como Duele by Marc Anthony

15) You Don’t Own Me

Someone drank the other five of my six beers. My nanny disappeared for several days without telling me and I almost left Pumpkinhead alone sleeping in bed (bad Mommy!). Pumpkinhead has to have ear tubes placed and his adenoids removed and I’m going to have to haul ass and get it done before Chapin returns from Guatemala (he is 100% against removing anything but, for one, I have full legal right to make medical decisions under our agreement and, for another, the ENT says that Pumpkinhead has sleep apnea because his adenoids are so large and the tonsils flop over and cover what little breathing room is left). My poor baby! Circus this weekend for Pumpkinhead’s birthday. Court date Monday. I’m ready but I could sure have used that beer. Anyone who thinks that divorce is easy for the person who wants it is dead wrong. It’s scary and sad and seriously disappointing. Sigh…

I am feeling a lot better this week. Yay! I went to the surgeon today and she said everything is healing well. She also said that if it’s heavier than a phone, I shouldn’t lift it. That should make packing up the house fun.

Chapin made it through Mexico without getting killed (apologies if I offend my Mexican audience. I was a little worried about him driving 24/7 when you hear those news reports of bandits robbing drivers at night, but really that could happen in any country.) I had Pumpkinhead call him this evening and got the chance to speak with my sister-in-law, once again reinforcing the idea that, yes, I will be going to court on Monday and, yes, he needs to spend these three weeks figuring out what to do with his life because I won’t be here when he returns.

Work is crazy/busy and yet I’m still bored out of my mind at night. Can’t swim or push Pumpkinhead on the swing because of the steri-strips and the “no heavy lifting” requirements so we’re just playing board games to pass the time. I need school back!

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup** is the brainchild of Saramel (retired). It is hosted on a rotating basis at the PT-LawMom, A Little Fish in Law School, and A New Duck blogs and is usually posted no later than Monday morning. Next week’s MILP Roundup will be hosted by New Duck.

So sorry I’m late with this.

Over at New Duck, reality seriously bites.

Advice for 1Ls from 3L Wannabe.

Butterflyfish is going it solo again.

Dakota is ready to enjoy summer movies in style!

There’s always time for cuteness over at Knocked Up (and in Law School), Peanut Butter Burrito and Law School Sucks.

LagLiv is in mourning.

LawMummy has had a tough week.

Certifiable wonders where all the female litigators are (I personally think it’s male clients hire male litigators that is the problem).

Kady’s sick of rising costs!

Magic Cookie is running herself ragged.

GoogieBaba is having scheduling woes.

Cee discusses the importance of positive reinforcement at work.

If you’d like to have your blog added to the MILP blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at their respective sites.

**Hat tip to the “original” Roundup — Evan Schaeffer’s Legal Underground and Divine Angst

Stealing from New Duck

Five things I was doing 5 years ago…
1. Having a baby (this weekend!!)
2. Graduating from undergrad. Didn’t walk because I was hugely pregnant and it was DAMN HOT in DC.
3. Losing my best friend’s mother to her second bout with breast cancer.
4. Loving my job
5. How the hell am I supposed to remember? It was five years ago and, hey, I had preggo brain.

Five things under $10 I love…
1. Chocolate
2. Republic of Tea
3. Paperback books
4. Magnets
5. Starbucks

Five things on my to-do list…
1. Pack my stuff and move out of my house
2. Sell my house
3. Go back to school and actually concentrate/do well
4. Meet someone sweet to hang out with
5. Start lifting weights again, as my arms are pitiful after the last year of neuropathic pain

Five things I would do if I was a billionaire…
1. Travel
2. Open a used bookstore with a hot tea bar, lots of cats wandering around and tons of comfy chairs for relaxing
3. Teach kids to read
4. Send money or supplies to a variety of small, needy charities doing great work around the world
5. Pay a trainer to kick my ass across the room and back

Five of my bad habits…
1. Talking too fast and too much
2. Taking things personally
3. Procrastinating
4. Taking on too much
5. Laziness

Five jobs I’ve had…
1. Legal Secretary
2. Editor
3. Ethics & Compliance Officer
4. Housecleaner
5. Rape Crisis Counselor

Five things found in my bag…
1. Earrings (otherwise I’d forget to put them on)
2. A ton of lipstick/lip gloss (because my mother says I look like death without some color on my lips)
3. Coins (because I always throw them in and only clean them out when my purse weighs a ton)
4. My social security card (haven’t put it away since starting my job in March - oops…)
5. Durex Extra Sensitive Condom (hey, a girl can dream…)

Five things I’m currently into
1. Match.com (Haven’t dated anyone since I was 20. Damn, the men my age look old! Where did the time go?!?)
2. IKEA. Moving into my parents’ pool room (waaah!) and need to find a storage unit/wall to hide my bed. Hopefully (see #1) there will someday once again be a need to hide.
3. Law School. Just trying to do well and looking forward to some great classes in the fall.
4. My son. He’ll be five this weekend and he is the most interesting person in my life right now. I adore seeing him grow and learn every day.
5. Jewelry. Trying to dress up more for a more professional look (and, again, see #1).

I promise to work on the roundup and get it up later tonight. It’s been a crazy weekend.

I could whine and moan about how much pain I’ve been in this week and how busy I am at work but instead I’m going to take a page out of Tranny Head’s book and talk about a fun-but-naughty topic. Hey, if she could take on pubes, I can take on sex toys. And maybe my blog will be blocked like Ana’s. LOL! Run now if you’re the shy type (or you think you know me and don’t really want to go there…).

So a coworker is getting married and one of our other coworkers (her good friend) mentioned that she wanted to get her some naughty novelty stuff for her shower but she was too embarrassed to visit one of “those” stores. Although it has been quite a few years since I’ve set foot in one (yep, Chapin was good at one thing), I don’t embarrass easily when it comes to these things. So I took a big pain pill and accompanied her after work today since she was also too embarrassed to go online to make her purchases. Also since, more likely than not, I’m facing the reality of a sex-free life as a divorced single mom for the foreseeable future, I figured it couldn’t hurt for me to take a look, too.

I guess that in my younger days, I just giggled at this stuff, thanked goodness some of the mild stuff was there to spice things up with my boyfriends, and didn’t pay much attention to the packaging. Anyway, my coworker’s face was bright red at the variety and selection, but what got me thinking is the fact that almost every single item was branded with some variation of a busty, scantily clad woman. Correct me if I’m wrong but, while probably 2/3 of the store’s merchandise is geared towards men, or at least towards partner play, isn’t there about 1/3 that realistically is women-only? If so, why the hell would a heterosexual woman want to purchase a product that has a female on it? It’s already cringe-inducing enough to pick up some of these crudely named or wild-animal-bearing vibrators. You’d think they could at least provide some sexy male romance novel cover models for a little inspiration. Apparently most sex toys are made by men and most shops are run by men. Surely there is a place out there where someone sells items not blazened with freaky names or shaped into rabbits and beavers. And while I’m talking about it, there really should be some middle ground between hard plastic rods or “personal massagers” and the oddly decorated neon items. I mean, where the hell are you supposed to hide something like that?

So here are my questions: 1) Am I the only one who thinks it’s crazy to have naked women on a product meant FOR women’s pleasure? 2) Are there stores out there (probably none in my town) that my coworker could set foot inside without feeling dirty? Surely some women run small, tame shops for women who don’t want animals and neon. If not, that would be a good niche. 3) Seriously, moms, how do you hide these things from nosy children?

In the end, my coworker got some cute things for the wedding shower evening. Straws shaped like various things, jello molds, party games, a cute t-shirt, etc. I saw some fun items in case I should ever find someone again that I’d care to purchase for and also picked up a few things to tide me over in the interim. {NOTE: I had forgotten that the clerks have to test the merchandise since you cannot return it. The battery testing of one item I’d convinced my coworker to treat herself to changed her face to a shade of scarlet I’ve never seen!} Hopefully the party will be fun. Having been married to Mr. Controlling since age 21, I’ve never been to a wedding shower nor did I actually have one so this should be interesting.

I made it through my first day back at work. Returned to huge bombshells, an overflowing inbox and a ton of urgent tasks, but I didn’t panic. I did, however, leave early to take a nap. By 3 p.m. my side was killing me and the Advil/Tylenol alternating schedule just wasn’t doing the trick. I drove home, picked up Pumpkinhead from the Y, made him dinner and then collapsed into bed for a two-hour nap. Then I got up and watched the most amazing episode of Al Diablo Con Los Guapos (OMG, I can’t take the suspense!!!) and I am now avoiding the pile of work next to me on the bed. Had to bring it home to rationalize my early departure (to myself, not my boss). Oddly enough (and this tells you how solitary my office is), only the people who sit immediately around me knew I was gone. Apparently gossip is not big around there (that or no one gives a crap about me…). It could also be that the legal department staffers travel a ton so people probably thought I was on a trip or something. Anyway, hopefully tomorrow will be a bit less painful. That is, if I can get myself to turn to this memo on my lap and make some progress!

P.S. Potential awesome school fall schedule news to come.
P.P.S. Site hits from my current town (and my former town, oddly enough) are way up since my “Busted?” post. Hola amigos!