Cowardly men

Why are some men such cowards? They don’t call (God forbid they should be honest), they cheat, they lie, screw-and-run, etc. Personal relationships aside, what kills me is that men do this professionally as well. Today one dickless wonder decided to out Kristina at Wicked Words because she had dared to call him on his scheme to pay new attorneys bargain basement salaries to work 24/7 as little more than slave labor. Those of us who were subscribed to her blog comments got that little missive by e-mail. When I saw it, my heart sank because I knew that ultimately Kristina has to make a living and that jerk, as spineless as he is, may find a way to hurt her professionally. :( That said, the “work” she has been doing to enlighten people about the realities of legal salaries, job opportunities, etc., is so important and I hope that she (and maybe others – team blog?) will decide to take up the cause. You rock, Kristina. Stay strong!

Weekly MILP Roundup #56

This week’s roundup is up at A Little Fish in Law School.

The Weekly MILP (Moms in the Legal Profession) Roundup is the brainchild of Saramel (retired). It is hosted on a rotating basis at the PT-LawMom, A New Duck and A Little Fish in Law School blogs and is usually posted no later than Monday morning. Next week’s MILP Roundup will be back here.


Packing sucks. I have clothes out the wazoo (when on earth did I get them all?!?!) I took three garbage bags to the local Episcopal thrift store and my bed was still covered with clothes. I don’t even want to think about how long this is going to take. The good news is that my Dad managed to get the storage unit/bed concealer put together in the large studio apartment where I will be living. It looks awesome and really divides the room well so that I will have a private space between my bed and a living area. Yay. The bad news is that I went out with some friends tonight and Chapin called halfway through. Chastised me for leaving Pumpkinhead with my parents and made me feel bad. I should have hung up on him before he could take a breath!

The Miracle That Isn’t

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know I had gastric bypass surgery in 2001 and am now suffering the consequences (malnutrition, peripheral neuropathy, small bowel obstructions, etc.) Self Magazine has an article in this month’s issue on several people who have also had major complications. While many of the WLS cheerleaders are PISSED that this article is even out there (cause it’s a miracle cure, they’ll tell you), I wish I had known then what I know now. I probably would have still done something but perhaps it would have been the then-new Lap Band procedure instead of the intestinal-rerouting, malabsorptive gastric bypass procedure.

You can click on Health in my Categories links to read more about my struggle, which started with severe B12 deficiency after my son was born in 2003.

Are you worried?

I can see you guys popping in to check on me to see if I’ve posted and I assume from the frequency that you are worried. (Hi Sarah, Bkllnbutterflye and Baker Hughes). I’m doing well, I promise. Just getting through the week, avoiding packing stuff and working hard. Yesterday I picked up Jenny McCarthy’s book, “Life Laughs”, for a bit of light reading and “He’s Just Not That Into You” so I can someday have a clue. Also ordered a ton from Amazon:

The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing

101 Things I Learned AFTER My Divorce

Not Your Mother’s Divorce: A Practical, Girlfriend-to-Girlfriend Guide to Surviving the End of a Young Marriage

Fifteen Minutes of Shame

Mom, There’s A Man In The Kitchen And He’s Wearing Your Robe: The Single Mother’s Guide to Dating Well without Parenting Poorly

Sex And the Single Mom: The Essential Guide to Dating, Mating And Relating

Single Mom Seeking: Playdates, Blind Dates, and Other Dispatches from the Dating World

The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date, and Mate–and What Women Can Do to Come Out on Top

Romancing The Web: A Therapist’s Guide To The Finer Points Of Online Dating


It’s done. I arrived at the court (late, damn traffic!) at 8:20 a.m. and was out of there by 8:40 a.m. I didn’t cry or even feel sad, which I suppose is kind of weird. I wore the black top and skirt (#1 in the photo array) and felt very confident. The prove-up took all of five minutes and the judge approved our final agreement, the wage withholding order for child support and my name change. Chapin did not call me and I did not call him. I should get a copy of the signed/certified orders in a few days and then have to deal with SSA and drivers license changes.

This evening I went to a movie theater/grill with a good friend, ate a chicken quesadilla with iced tea (decided I really didn’t need a margarita on my poor stomach, which is still sensitive from surgery), and watched “Dark Knight.” It was a lot of fun. :)

20-Year Meme

Shelley tagged me.

The Twenty-Year Meme

20 years ago I:
1. Was nine years old
2. Adored “Babysitters Club” and “Sweet Valley High” novels
3. Enjoyed fishing for eels in the stream near my house
4. Had two best friends, Odessa and Nancy, who would climb trees with me and lay their reading for our “book club”
5. Was learning the Haka
6. French kissed my best friends at a sleepover just to see what it felt like. Bleech. All teeth and weird tongue!

10 years ago I:
1. Was living in Albuquerque, NM
2. Was dating lots of random guys I met through
3. Was offered a job as editor of two magazines… if I dropped out of undergrad (turned it down)
4. Drove all over the place with my brand new driver’s license (didn’t need one in DC)
5. Did a lot of exploring by myself
6. Developed carpal tunnel from all the writing at work/school and got glasses for the first time. Just went downhill from there, LOL!

5 years ago I:
1. Was 30 minutes away from giving birth to my son
2. Lived in Anacostia in Washington, DC
3. Was grieving over the loss of one of the best women I’ve ever met (my best friend’s Mom – from breast cancer, Part II)
4. Had just purchased my first house
5. Was super-hot and uncomfortable
6. Loved my job

3 years ago I:
1. Moved away from DC (waaahhh!)
2. Was evacuated
3. Worked a job for only 60 days and then quit because I was miserable and bored
4. Went to Disney World
5. Drove a loaded car from DC to another state 1400 miles away alone with Pumpkinhead (Chapin drove our other car)
6. Spent Thanksgiving driving 800 miles to spend it with Chapin who was on business in another state

So far this year I:
1. Almost lost a parent
2. Lost my last grandparent
3. Had major surgery
4. Took three different types of brain-altering medications and saw way too many doctors
5. Started an awesome new job (!!)
6. Got divorced

Yesterday I:
1. Went to the circus
2. Didn’t fall asleep until 3 a.m., damn insomnia
3. Spent far too much on iTunes downloading breakup recovery music
4. Ate a yummy piece of sugar-free cherry pie
5. Received a really nice, unexpected (and super hot) compliment from a cute guy and bought a lacy push-up bra and underwear while still on that high. ;) Yes, I can take my time with going back out there, but it sure doesn’t hurt to feel good about myself in the meantime.
6. Bought tickets to see Batman Monday night with a friend and set up a sleepover for Pumpkinhead with Mimi and Gran

Today I:
1. Woke up at 6 a.m.
2. Refused to go to church and have Pumpkinhead blessed because I am having a mopey Bad Mommy day and just don’t want to leave the house
3. Have several hours of work on a project I’ve been procrastinating on for far too long
4. Am ignoring the boxes sitting in my garage waiting for me to start packing
5. Re-purchased a CD I already own because Chapin took the original with him and I wanted it on iTunes
6. Sang “Happy Birthday” to my son and made him a special breakfast in bed

Tomorrow I will:
1. Get divorced
2. Go to work and keep my office door shut so I don’t cry in front of coworkers
3. Drink a few margaritas
4. Watch “Dark Night”
5. Put on my red high heels for a little confidence
6. Not call Chapin

In the next year I will:
1. Keep making my way through law school one day at a time
2. Watch my baby grow up and start kindergarten
3. Try to piece my shattered heart back together and figure out who I am by myself
4. Get back to the Gym? Maybe? Or at least swim in the pool since it will be right outside my bedroom door.
5. Vitamin-load every day so I don’t end up back on IVs or in the hospital
6. Try not to kill my parents or slip back into child mode living with them

I tag Cee, Christa and Certifiable


There is definitely something about Shakira’s music that makes you want to get up and move (even if her English language stuff SUCKS). This parody I saw a few months back on MadTV still has me laughing.

Happy Birthday, Pumpkinhead

Five years have flown by so fast. You started out life as a little glowworm, 7lbs 11oz and such the little cuddler. All these years later, nothing has changed. You hug and kiss with glee, have never met a stranger and are the sweetest boy I know. I love that you get such a kick out of reading any book you can get your hand on and the way you make up funny voices to go with the characters. I adore your curiosity about life around us, especially animals and insects, and how cute you are with your new kitten, Shirley the Cute Cat. Keep singing at the top of your lungs in bathrooms (great acoustics), picking up those books when you’re bored and writing great stories to share with your cousin. You are my precious angel and I cannot even begin to tell you all the ways you’ve filed my heart to bursting.