1. This post is totally going to blow any shred of anonymity remaining.
2. My readers are going to think I’m totally full of shit because no one’s life is this drama-filled.

Remember the pain I had last week? Yeah, not an ulcer. Pain waned a bit then returned with a force at 4 a.m. today. My PCP had never returned my call last week. I called today and described my symptoms and they directed me to go to the emergency room not passing go. I was thinking ulcer or gallbladder. Nope. Apparently I have one of the rare cases of adult intussusception. See

They took me from the ER (a satellite center not at a hospital) by ambulance to a large hospital and I am currently hooked up to an IV with cuffs squeezing each calf waiting for another CT scan. They tell me that they cannot perform the surgery laproscopically so I am looking forward to a fully open operation with all of the lovely recovery time that entails. Joy. That means, among other things, all the days off will be unpaid because my new job has a six-month waiting period on sick and vacation leave. Additionally, all the work I’ve put into my current class is in the crapper. If you miss more than three days, you are dropped. My Mom called and the Dean says I can take an incomplete and re-take it another semester, but what a disappointment.

Chapin brought me my laptop (thank God!) and some clothes. My priest came up to pray for me. Pumpkinhead is oblivious at home. My mother returns tomorrow to see if they are still planning to crack open my belly. On the plus side, I’m getting well hydrated from the IV and maybe I’ll lose some weight.