Over and done
Chapin signed the papers. I honestly can’t believe it! We spent about two hours going through every part of it (I wanted to be 100% sure he understood what he was signing). Then he threw the papers across the room and begged me to give him another chance. Bitch that I am (trying to be strong by being cold and holding onto memories of his cruel side), I asked him why he couldn’t summon some pride and realize that I don’t want him anymore. That pissed him off so he signed. This time he put a tiny squiggle at the end of the signature but, other than that, it’s a proper signature. I’ll see what my attorney says about whether the squiggle is a problem.
Then he locked me and Pumpkinhead out of the house!!! Fortunately my nanny heard us banging and ringing the doorbell and let us back in. Now we’re safely at my mother’s house. It’s almost midnight but I found a large envelope for the 39-page order, got stamps from my mother and dropped it in a mailbox to my attorney. I know, I know, he could still rescind it before the hearing. But he doesn’t know that…
Anyway, Pumpkinhead was pretty upset that we were locked out and I’m pretty angry that he did that when he knew Pumpkinhead was with me (we’d left to run a quick errand and give Chapin time to calm down). I should have known better and done this when Pumpkinhead was gone. Thing is, he was at the zoo with the nanny and her daughters when we started reviewing the document. Little did I know that it would take so long and that he would return early. Lesson learned. 
Next step is waiting out the state’s statutory waiting period. The Petition for Divorce was signed on May 21 so I can go to court the week of July 21 any morning between 8:30 and 9 to get on the court’s uncontested divorce motions hearing docket and then go in front of the judge (with my attorney - Chapin doesn’t have to appear) and get her to sign this order.
Chapin is sad and angry. I feel numb. One part of me is relieved that we moved through this agreement process so quickly. The other part of me feels bad that the reason for that is that he really thought I would forgive him if he did what I wanted (his fault, not mine — I told him in no uncertain terms that I had no intention of forgiving his abusive behavior, especially when he is still refusing therapy and denying any problem). That said, he is getting an excellent settlement. My lawyer even advised me that I’m kind of screwing myself, but I want him out and don’t want to put Pumpkinhead through the trauma. I hope that the trauma doesn’t start now that Chapin is upset and finally facing reality…
Stumble it!
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June 14th, 2008 at 7:18 am
I’m so glad you got through this and the papers are signed! So considerate of Chapin to prove, immediately after signing, that you made the right decision. :-/
June 14th, 2008 at 8:57 am
Good for you! Hopefully everything will go smoothly until the order is signed.
June 14th, 2008 at 10:04 am
Yay for step 1 being completed. I keep thinking of you and Pumpkinhead- so glad your parents are close by.
June 14th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
I’m so happy for you! I hope you and Pumpkinhead move on to a new part of your life quickly and quietly without too much fuss from Chapin.
~ps
June 14th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
I’ll be thinking good thoughts for you! It sounds like you’ve done the best thing for you and your little guy.
June 14th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Wow. I haven’t been spending a lot of blog-time lately and have been using Bloglines, so I’ve only been seeing the first few sentences of your posts for the past few weeks. I was shocked to read this today, having missed the whole story. Best of luck to you and Pumpkinhead!
June 14th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
I want to wish you luck as well. I hope Chapin cooperates and this whole thing is resolved peacefully.
June 14th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Congratulations on getting the papers signed! The light at the end of the tunnel is getting closer and closer…
June 14th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Wow, that was fast. I’m sure the decision itself was a long time coming, but the process seemed quick. Best wishes for you and your little one.
June 14th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
L.J.T., it was CRAZY fast. It helped that I made Chapin sit down and iron things out and then provided my attorney with a fully-typed sample agreement. He took the state’s standard possession order for visitation with our son (if the parties don’t agree to more lenient terms between themselves) so that also helped.
June 15th, 2008 at 5:59 am
WOW. Fingers crossed
June 15th, 2008 at 8:12 am
That was crazy fast. It took 3 years for the process to be completed when my ex and I separated/divorced.
June 15th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
My husband never went to high school and came to this country about 18 months before we were married. He really doesn’t know enough to know that he could drag this out (thank God!) That said, I think it will get harder once it gets closer to the time I go to court and/or the time he has to move out of the house.
June 16th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
Congratulations on the first step. Remember, there is still a full five weeks between now and then when he can ‘wake up’ or get advice to derail this. And also, you don’t know what regard he has or doesn’t for this piece of paper which will dictate his legal relationship to his child.
Please keep yourself and Pumpkinhead safe, distant and resolute.