Chapin signed the papers. I honestly can’t believe it! We spent about two hours going through every part of it (I wanted to be 100% sure he understood what he was signing). Then he threw the papers across the room and begged me to give him another chance. Bitch that I am (trying to be strong by being cold and holding onto memories of his cruel side), I asked him why he couldn’t summon some pride and realize that I don’t want him anymore. That pissed him off so he signed. This time he put a tiny squiggle at the end of the signature but, other than that, it’s a proper signature. I’ll see what my attorney says about whether the squiggle is a problem.

Then he locked me and Pumpkinhead out of the house!!! Fortunately my nanny heard us banging and ringing the doorbell and let us back in. Now we’re safely at my mother’s house. It’s almost midnight but I found a large envelope for the 39-page order, got stamps from my mother and dropped it in a mailbox to my attorney. I know, I know, he could still rescind it before the hearing. But he doesn’t know that…

Anyway, Pumpkinhead was pretty upset that we were locked out and I’m pretty angry that he did that when he knew Pumpkinhead was with me (we’d left to run a quick errand and give Chapin time to calm down). I should have known better and done this when Pumpkinhead was gone. Thing is, he was at the zoo with the nanny and her daughters when we started reviewing the document. Little did I know that it would take so long and that he would return early. Lesson learned.

Next step is waiting out the state’s statutory waiting period. The Petition for Divorce was signed on May 21 so I can go to court the week of July 21 any morning between 8:30 and 9 to get on the court’s uncontested divorce motions hearing docket and then go in front of the judge (with my attorney – Chapin doesn’t have to appear) and get her to sign this order.

Chapin is sad and angry. I feel numb. One part of me is relieved that we moved through this agreement process so quickly. The other part of me feels bad that the reason for that is that he really thought I would forgive him if he did what I wanted (his fault, not mine — I told him in no uncertain terms that I had no intention of forgiving his abusive behavior, especially when he is still refusing therapy and denying any problem). That said, he is getting an excellent settlement. My lawyer even advised me that I’m kind of screwing myself, but I want him out and don’t want to put Pumpkinhead through the trauma. I hope that the trauma doesn’t start now that Chapin is upset and finally facing reality…