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12 Responses to “Pro-Se Contested Divorce”

1. Googie Baba Says:
   May 18th, 2008 at 8:00 pm

   I haven’t been divorced, so this opinion has on basis in anything, but I say get an attorney. Your kids are at stake for crying out loud. This isn’t the time to test what you know. Get a lawyer.

2. Bryan Says:
   May 18th, 2008 at 8:43 pm

   Hire a lawyer. No ifs, ands, or buts. I am sure that she does not want to spend the money, but it is money well spent.

3. Meg Says:
   May 18th, 2008 at 8:43 pm

   I’ve been divorced (before law school) and did not have any children, nor any real property, and it was uncontested. That’s the only way I’d ever go without an attorney.

   But especially where children are involved, and/or there is any amount of acrimony, a lawyer is sooo necessary. The one thing I can think of to reduce costs is maybe to offer some sort of work-trade for legal research to her firm, or an offer to do a lot of the paperwork - I think as a law student you can approach practicing attorneys from a different angle, because you have *something* to offer in trade. Just a thought.

4. Shelley Says:
   May 18th, 2008 at 8:44 pm

   I have helped lots of pro ses as a volunteer - and if it were up to me, I’d do everything I could to get a (good) lawyer. Your friend could help lower the costs by doing research/writing tasks, but family law is usually not at all like “ordinary” civil law, and a practitioner would not likely need a ton of legal research done.

   If the standard for custody is easily met by your friend, then maybe it would be OK to go pro se. Still, family law judges tend to have a LOT of discretion - I wouldn’t risk it.

5. Proto Attorney Says:
   May 18th, 2008 at 10:15 pm

   While I’m sure she could probably handle *someone’s* contested divorce quite competently, I wouldn’t recommend anyone handle their *own* contested divorce, even with a ton of legal experience. Divorces are often emotional and horrible, and an attorney is supposed to be a reasonable, clear-headed advocate on behalf of his/her client’s interests. Often times that means challenging the client on what’s actually in his/her best interests. Emotions can lead to costly mistakes.

6. Deb (Missives From Suburbia) Says:
   May 19th, 2008 at 12:20 pm

   I’ve been divorced. Definitely hire an outsider to handle it and help remove some of the emotion from the situation. It will get sticky at some point, and paying someone to handle the details will be worth every penny.

7. PunditMom Says:
   May 19th, 2008 at 1:17 pm

   Hire a lawyer, definitely. Even if things start out looking easy, in a divorce, they never are — especially when it comes to the kids.

8. Jenny Says:
   May 20th, 2008 at 7:48 am

   I would always seek advice when children are involved. Having been through a divorce and custody battle AND being a law student currently, I speak from experience. Parents that are going through the pain (whether acknoledged yet, or not) of a divorce cannot think clearly enough to make life changing decisions in the best interests of their children. Emotions are running too high most of the time and what might seem rational one moment, doesn’t the next. That’s what lawyers are there for. They deal with the facts and help find outlets for the emotions so that the best interests are what remain in focus at all times.

9. Robyn Says:
   May 22nd, 2008 at 1:25 am

   Legal Assistant/paralegal here. HIRE A LAWYER. You have a fool for a client when you represent yourself especially in an emotionally charged case like a divorce with children. There are child custody/child support/health insurance/schooling/etc to be litigated. Money and blame can make a family law case very ugly and contentious. A family law attorney is probably an investment. Her spouse may want a piece of her future earnings if he helped finance her law school education. Good luck to your friend.

10. Laurie Says:
    May 22nd, 2008 at 9:34 am

    Well I don’t think your friend should represent herself, but there may be other alternatives available. Mediation comes to mind and I think finding less adversarial ways to work out a divorce are the best choice in most situations - both parties need to really think about those kids and realize that even if the marriage is ending their will be a relationship of some kind for many, many years and compromises are going to be needed. Good luck to your friend.

11. ana Says:
    May 22nd, 2008 at 11:09 pm

    I had a friend who got divorced during law school. She got representation through the law school’s clinic program. No kids though.

12. zuska Says:
    May 23rd, 2008 at 10:45 am

    I filed my own divorce while working as a paralegal in a family law firm. My kids were 4 and 6. I believe that both they and I were hurt by my self-representation. I should have hired a lawyer. I felt like I was very fair minded, and trusted my ex to be the same. He was out of state and hired a lawyer - she took every advantage of my lack of representation.

    Honestly, though, I had no choice at the time. I had barely enough money to get by while paying high rent and for full time childcare for two kids, and yet I made too much to qualify for any kind of legal assistance.

    So I hope your friend has options.

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