PT-LawMom

This week’s roundup is up at A Little Fish in Law School.

The Weekly MILS (Moms In Law School) Roundup is the brainchild of Saramel (retired). It is hosted on a rotating basis at the PT-LawMom and A Little Fish in Law School blogs and is usually posted no later than Monday morning. Next week’s MILS Roundup will be back here.

Work continues to go very well. Lots of projects heating up and my business cards are on their way - yippee!!!

School is getting crazy busy as well. My new commute is actually faster even though I’m further away, which is just nuts. So far, so good. I’ve been very busy the past two weeks working on a large paper for one of my classes. I also need to get moving on practice tests for my other class so I have a shot at passing my main substantive class.

I did take time out last night for a rousing game of Chutes and Ladders with Pumpkinhead. Fortunately the ladder at #81 shot him to the top and he beat me in no time!

On a low note, my pain has not resolved with the additional medication. But I did hear back from my PCP and she said that she thinks she knows why. For those RNY readers who care about these detailed health updates, my Ferritin (serum iron) level has dropped from 8 last August to 4 now. My B12 is also in the basement despite weekly shots. Last time the Ferritin was that low, I had to undergo 10 weeks of IV iron infusions at the local cancer center. This time I really can’t afford to take time off work, plus my health insurance ends on Tuesday. Soooo…. Looks like we’re going to try upping the Ferrous Gluconate pill to twice daily with 1,000mg of chewable Vitamin C for a month until my health insurance kicks in May 1. I’m also going to try to add in a sublingual B12 and switch to twice-weekly B12 shots. Bleech. On the plus side, my Vitamin D levels have come up with the addition of the Dry D3.

As much pain as I’m in, I have kept to my resolve not to let anyone at work know. Thank God for an office with a door I can close and a boss who works on another floor! Fortunately I’m doing a lot of reading and reviewing documents right now (not a lot of writing) and I am also not having to run around much because my legs are killing me. I’m also working on meditation and “staying in the now”, as my psychologist says, so that I can stay positive and not dwell on the pain and feel like it will never go away or will keep returning (like it has every 6-8 weeks for the past 9 months). I am also considering seeing a naturopath and trying some different treatments.

Okay, off to study. We’re going to the zoo this afternoon. Chapin took the day off to hang out with us and have some family time so I told him I would spend a few hours on concentrated studying this morning and then we’d have a family day. Yay.

The Weekly MILS (Moms In Law School) Roundup** is the brainchild of Saramel (retired). It is hosted on a rotating basis at the PT-LawMom and A Little Fish in Law School blogs and is usually posted no later than Monday morning. Next week’s MILS Roundup will be hosted by Butterflyfish.

2L Wannabe tells us how she does it (8 mile runs - ack!)

Meanwhile New Duck gives birth and keeps right on running through her daily routine

Butterflyfish had a real-life illustration of the Easter story in her driveway this week with Clownfish curiously looking on

At Adventures of Law School Mama, cuteness abounds in both the two-legged and four-legged variety

Kim at Diary of a Law School Mom shares a peaceful dream

Kim at Merits of the Case is living the dream — off to the islands with her family.

Citations is allowing herself to be tortured in the name of true friendship

ProtoAttorney is trying to take control

LagLiv has had a whirlwind week of huge life steps

At Law School Sucks… and so do lawyers, THAT Guy returns, to the chagrin of gunner-haters everywhere!

Magic Cookie has the perfect illustration of what a MILS’ life is really like

Googie Baba rocked oral arguments and found out she actually likes moot court!

At Peanut Butter Burrito, Andrea, Dan and Becca are enjoying the simple life (and some hilarious lullaby sessions)

At Starting to Melt, Cee is getting grilled

If you’d like to have your blog added to the MILS blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at their respective sites.

**Hat tip to the “original” Roundup — Evan Schaeffer’s Legal Underground and Divine Angst

After starting my new job this week, this is how my heart feels. The position (so far) is better than I could have imagined. The people are friendly (but not in an intrusive way). I’ve managed to present myself well and do a good job so far. I’ve also managed to overcome the arm pain hurdle and get permission to use a laptop in meetings, citing a preference to get the info down in the most rapid method possible (versus using a medical condition as the reason) and my boss went for it. He’s really behind all my ideas and I’m excited about the road ahead. Plus you should see my amazingly large office!!! That’s about all I can say about work, but there are so many reasons why it appears to be a great fit for me now and in the future. I think I’ve made the right choice and I am soooooo pleased. Yay!

Medically, my pain started to come back last week. Boo hiss. I was hoping it was just stress-related, but it kept getting worse so I finally called my neurologist on Wednesday and fessed up. He upped the Topamax to 75mg twice a day (from 50mg), which isn’t the 100mg I was on before that was causing all the problems, but it is a 1/2 step away. I’m cautiously optimistic that the side effects won’t be too bad but I also know I can’t function well with the pain and it just kept getting worse. I’m hoping that I can keep my head low and that no one will notice anything at work. I’m working on listening a lot and hoping they will just take it as a sign that I’m trying to learn. I’m also writing down questions before meetings so that I have a list to read from (to avoid the aphasia issue). That helps.

In the meantime, I have TONS of homework and I have been exhausted this week so I haven’t been blogging or e-mailing. Right now I’m off to work on my homework. I’ll try to get to the Roundup tomorrow morning.

This week’s roundup is up at A Little Fish in Law School.

The Weekly MILS (Moms In Law School) Roundup is the brainchild of Saramel (retired). It is hosted on a rotating basis at the PT-LawMom and A Little Fish in Law School blogs and is usually posted no later than Monday morning. Next week’s MILS Roundup will be back here.

My last day at work was predictably insane, including a bunch of weird, passive-aggressive last-minute attempts by my main boss to get back at me for quitting. Yes, I wore the red shoes and yes, I walked out with my head held high and no regrets. I got a full night’s sleep last night for the first time in months (no nightmares and no waking up at 3 a.m. to anxiously pre-rehearse conversations with my boss in my head).

Today I woke up at 8:00. Pumpkinhead had crawled into bed with me around 4 a.m. after Chapin left for work and we dozed peacefully together. When we woke up, he watched cartoons while I just lay there watching his beautiful face — the light blue and pink veins that dart across his cheeks, the cute curve of his nose, his buttercup lips — and enjoying the time with my precious boy. Eventually he forced me to actually get out of bed, so we got dressed and I took him to our favorite breakfast place. We were going to have a car picnic, but the manager asked us if we wanted to eat in today and I decided there was no rush so we lingered. Then we dropped off my drycleaning and headed over to CVS to pick out some eggs for the school Easter Egg hunt. Finally I dropped Pumpkinhead off at school with his eggs (tomorrow’s the hunt) and headed off to begin my day.

I did not check e-mail or answer the phone. Other than going to the doctor for a follow-up on the anti-anxiety/anti-depressant meds she prescribed by phone a few weeks back plus a vitamin level bloodwork panel, the whole day was devoted to pampering and stress relief. I got my hair cut and dyed, read a romance novel, caught up on several hours of DVR’d “Al Diablo Con Los Guapos” (Spanish Novela) and joined my mother for a mani/pedi.

Tomorrow morning my Mom and I leave for two days away and I plan to sleep a lot and enjoy myself. I also plan to take my school work because, as much as I’d like to do nothing, I really shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. I could use the time away from Pumpkinhead to concentrate on a practice exam or something else that needs a block of dedicated time. My cousin is coming to spend the night tomorrow and hang out with Pumpkinhead on Saturday. She’ll probably take him to see the new Dr. Suess movie that’s coming out this weekend and I know they will have a blast.

The new job starts Monday morning. I have read several career guides and just finished Getting Things Done. I’ve purchased a radio for my office (I’ll have an office!) that will allow me to hook my iPod into it and listen to some of the calming classical music I have for studying. I’ve been using my iPod a lot at work the past two weeks since I gave notice and the music has helped keep me calm. My focus at the new job will be on organization, listening skills, managing up and balance. Kim (Merits of the Case) once said that the way she balanced law school and raising kids was to schedule absolutely everything in her life, from the largest task to the smallest. Between the GTD system and some of the tips I’ve read in the career guides, I think that is good advice that will help me feel like I have more control and help me reign in some of the stress. I’m also working in a different part of town that is near a residential area with lots of open spaces to walk and stores nearby so I can go grocery shopping or run errands on my lunch hour. I can’t tell you what a timesaver/stress reliever that will be!! Hooray for freedom!

Only two more days until I am out with the old and in with the new. Wonder if I should wear the red shoes for the last day or if that would be rubbing it in too much? It hasn’t been pleasant around work the past week or so but I have been very busy finishing up tasks and trying to leave lists and organized files for the next person. My predecessor left me nothing but stacks of junk so I’m hoping to at least leave a little more direction for the person who succeeds me.

I plan to sleep in Thursday morning and then I have to go see my doctor for a follow-up on all the meds she put me on to control the non-stop crying and anxiety. She had to prescribe based on a phone consultation since, after two weeks of harassment following my meeting with HR, I was specifically threatened in regards to taking time off for doctor’s appts. Then I have a hair appointment (color and cut) followed by an afternoon of anything I want to do. Probably reading and studying or possibly cleaning up my messy home office (again!)

Then on Friday I am driving my mother to a day spa for the weekend before I start my new job. We’re going out of town to get pampered and she promises I can hole up in the room and study as much or as little as I want. Yay. I’m also glad to have some alone time with her. It’s rare these days to have that with Pumpkinhead constantly vying for her attention. Sometimes you just need some Mommy time, KWIM?

As the time comes for many people to send in their acceptance letters for law school, I have been receiving more and more blog hits related to the decision to attend law school part-time. Many of these searches also include questions about parenting while in law school so I decided to address the issue of attending law school PART-TIME with young children.

I’d like to say that it’s easy, but it’s really not unless you have a lot of help and support. There are only three women (including me) in my class with young children who work full-time outside the home and are in the evening program. One of them has a husband who does the lion’s share of the child-rearing and she has only a part-time job, so she is able to devote an enormous amount of time to her studies and extra-curricular activities. She is doing very well in our program so far and is the exception to the rule.

The other woman and I are more the norm. I can’t speak to her schedule, but I know she has an 18-month-old and, like me, she races out after class, rarely able to stay for extracurriculars or special presentations. Many of the men in the class have kids, but their wives either stay home or at least handle the bulk of the childcare because I see them stay after class or hear them arranging to come up for study groups on the weekends or on Friday nights. There are three women who are stay-at-home mothers. They work it out with their husbands to spend several hours at school after class to study, which seems to work well for them.

Then there is me. Here’s an example of an average day:

4:30 a.m. Alarm goes off; up and into shower
4:45 a.m. Study for one hour
5:45 a.m. Get dressed, make breakfast and lunch, get bags packed for me and Pumpkinhead
6:30 a.m. Get Pumpkinhead up and dressed
6:45 a.m. Drive Pumpkinhead to Montessori and drop him off in the cafeteria
7:00 a.m. Depart Montessori for work; call mother during commute time for “Mom” time
8:00 a.m. Arrive at work
12:00 p.m. Eat lunch and study
1:00 p.m. Resume working
5:00 p.m. Leave work; call Chapin on way to school for “husband” time
5:40 p.m. Arrive at school
6:00 p.m. Classes begin
8:00 p.m. Classes end
8:30 p.m. Arrive home
8:40 p.m. Bathe Pumpkinhead
8:50 p.m. Books, pajamas, prayers, lights out for Pumpkinhead
9:15 p.m. Load dishwasher, put clothes in washer/dryer, clean up kitchen/living room
9:45 p.m. Get ready for bed, take meds, spend time with Chapin
10:30 p.m. Lights out

Chapin leaves for work at 3 a.m. so I’m on my own in the mornings to get Pumpkinhead ready for school. He also works six days a week so I’m on my own Saturdays and then he has Pumpkinhead Sundays while I study, but I typically do that at home because Chapin hates the idea of my being out of sight on his only day home. At least if I’m in the house, we can take breaks together. Ultimately, though, this hasn’t really worked all that well because Pumpkinhead is constantly interrupting me. Even when I bring this to Chapin’s attention, he says, “Oh, he’s just a baby.” Well that’s all fine and well but not a great excuse, especially when I have the “baby” all day Saturday and get nothing done.

So my point is that unless you have a system set up where you can block out significant time to get your studying done in peace, part-time law school with young children is a real challenge. I went to undergrad full-time at night while working full-time days, so I thought part-time law school would be no sweat in comparison. I just never considered how much more concentration would be required. Children take up so much of your time and attention, especially when they are little, that it’s hard to find that extra brainpower for schoolwork. Add in a demanding job and it’s extra challenging. Throw in illness and a few other stressors and you end up with the recipe for a complete nervous breakdown!

I’ve got a housecleaner, but what I really need is a nanny to help with some of the childcare duties. I know, I know, Chapin really should be picking up the slack in that area, but we all get the husband we picked and mine, as good as he is in most things, chooses to wait until I get home for bathtime. I have the feeling a nanny would have Pumpkinhead bathed and in pajamas ready for a goodnight kiss by the time I walk in the door at night and that would ease my burden considerably! So I think we may have to seriously look into it. Perhaps not until closer to August when Pumpkinhead starts elementary school and will need someone to walk him to/from the bus, but definitely by then.

I’d love to hear from other mothers out there who have attended law school part-time with young children as to any time management tips they have for getting it all done. I know Dakota has done it, but I think her wife stays home and, if I’m reading her blog correctly, I get the impression that Casey supports her a lot by allowing her to spend hours at the law library. I wish Chapin would be that supportive and I’m working on him, but so far no dice. No study groups; no extra time away from him and Pumpkinhead other than the time at class except during exam periods. The guilt trips he lays on me just are NOT worth it.

Anyway, these are my thoughts after three semesters of part-time law school. When I told people I was going to do the part-time program, all the lawyers I told expressed shock and told me how difficult it would be to balance a full-time job and the rigors of law school. They also said that law school is like the fifth rung of hell and that no one enjoys it. So now I just have to figure out how to make it manageable and get through. I also need to see how the new job goes, how flexible it is and whether I can work out my school schedule such that I can take a morning or mid-day class occasionally. Right now I only take two classes, but I will have to take three starting in the fall if I want to graduate in the four years that the part-time program usually requires. They start you off slow the first year to ease you in so if I think it’s challenging now, I guess I’m really in for a rude awakening… Honestly, though, school isn’t the challenging part. It’s the rest of my life. If I could just hit pause on parts of that for a while, school would be a snap.

The Weekly MILS (Moms In Law School) Roundup** is the brainchild of Saramel (retired). It is hosted on a rotating basis at the PT-LawMom and A Little Fish in Law School blogs and is usually posted no later than Monday morning. Next week’s MILS Roundup will be hosted by Butterflyfish.

Starting with the best news of all this week:
1) New Duck brought the newest MILS baby into the world

2) Butterflyfish got a job!! Yipee!!!

3) Over at Lag Liv, Landon made it through surgery and is on the road to recovery

4) At Magic Cookie, little K celebrated his first birthday!

Now for the rest of the MILS:
At Starting to Melt, Cee tells us about the downside of an employer who is too accepting of your pregnancy

Over at Peanut Butter Burrito, Andrea exposes common parenting truisms as lies

Law School Hot Mom knows when to cut and run!

Googie Baba tells us about the confusion that results when your home and school lives unexpectedly merge

Dakota asks where we draw the line with candidates on the campaign issues that most affect our lives

Diary of a Law School Mom has some thoughts on parenting kids with ADHD

2L Wannabe is trying to dodge the continuing circle of illness

Kim is soaking up the sun

If you’d like to have your blog added to the MILS blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at their respective sites.

**Hat tip to the “original” Roundup — Evan Schaeffer’s Legal Underground and Divine Angst

I always find myself amazed at the things I end up doing with Pumpkinhead that I never would have imagined myself doing, like digging around in the dirt for bugs (ick!) or dancing in the driveway in the middle of a rainstorm just for the fun of getting wet. This morning I found myself chewing on a thick wad of Hubba Bubba Watermelon gum while he lay on top of me, face six inches from mine, chanting “Do it! Do it!” as I tried to come up with the largest bubble possible. The goal was to get it large enough to hit his nose with the outbound bubble and mine as it popped back. I detest bubble gum and all things watermelon-flavored except the fruit itself, but I adore my little Pumpkinhead. The joy on his face as I blew those bubbles was priceless. His giggles and his excitement just thrilled me. I’m trying hard to savor these moments, embrace new and different ideas even though I may initially be resistant, and remember that these precious days won’t last. In the meantime, I’ll take all the kisses and cuddles and rain dances I can get (although maybe next time I’ll pick up a pack of sugar-free mint Hubba Bubba…).