Tenderhearted
This has been a week of revelations about the true nature of many people. Maybe it’s part of growing older and getting wiser. Maybe it’s part of getting hurt one too many times. But I’m starting to realize that oftentimes people truly are just out there for their own benefit and will do whatever it takes to get to the top or make themselves feel superior, even if it means stepping on your face on the way.
My husband, who grew up in a country divided for many years by a brutal civil war, has often tried to convince me of this harsh reality but I, the daughter of Christian missionaries who always had a room and a warm meal for a stranger, refused to believe it. I still find it hard to believe. That said, at least when it comes to work and school, I think I need to put up a bit of a stronger shield. 
Early this week, a good friend of mine at work lost her job under circumstances that were very unfair. Then I had a run-in with someone at work that was really humiliating and uncalled for and the two work issues combined made me wonder about my future there. In addition, while school has been going well in terms of professors and the subject matter itself, some of my classmates have been acting like real asshats all of a sudden! I’m not sure what changed, but I know that several others feel the same way I do — please let this 1L year end so that we can pick our classes and hopefully get away from the few that are being particularly obnoxious.
Anyway, while many things are going much better than they were just a few weeks ago, this week really made my heart hurt and made me think about long-term priorities. Who knows? If it’s meant to work out, there may be some changes in the works and a steelier, less tenderhearted lady ready to face the world when the bell rings for the next go-round.
February 9th, 2008 at 9:49 am
Sudden Asshat Syndrome: (n). Afflicts otherwise ok but insecure law students who keep their heads down and work hard first semester and don’t draw attention to themselves. Until… they get a couple of good grades and decide what they have to say is more important than what other people have to say.
Cure: none. Because even future bad grades tend not to make them shut up. Once the beast is loosed, its never going back in the cage.
Remedial measures: ear plugs.
February 9th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Oh, I’m sorry to hear it. It kills me that people have to lash out the way they do, especially when everyone else is in the same boat (work, law school). But there are always those bad apples in every barrel.
Here’s hoping for a restorative and wonderful weekend!
February 9th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
You can still be loving and idealistic, just with a little more pragmatism. I’m the opposite of you - grew up in a home where we were taught to be suspicious of everyone and everything. Eventually I figured not everyone could be all bad, and I’ve found for the most part, being a bleeding heart isn’t so bad. Even though I’m still picky about whom I help, how, and when, I’ve found great opportunities to make a meaningful difference. In short - it IS possible to strike a balance.
God knows your heart. And He knows everyone else’s hearts. You’re a good person, and you’ll be rewarded for it. Keep the faith!