Social Mistakes
Now that I’ve made my “Nice Girl” list, I need to add one more. Ugh. Yesterday I had to spend a few hours with some people from work. I totally talked. And talked. And TALKED. Why do I feel this need to fill in awkward silence? Why do I have to share so much? I am definitely have a post-social-event hangover today (regret, not liquor). This is why I’d rather stay home with my books. I do okay when I’m in a group of my peers, but I get all weird when I’m around the “popular crowd.”
Anyone else do this? I raise it because I bet if you do, it will be a stumbling block as an attorney. I don’t know about you, but I do fine when I’m at a group event speaking about what I do or what I know. It’s when I have to talk about social stuff that I fall flat on my face. How do you combat this? How do you mentally kick the little girk (girl/dork) inside who feels the need to babble when she feels uncomfortable?
December 2nd, 2007 at 2:16 pm
um, when you figure this out, let me know. ok?
December 2nd, 2007 at 4:08 pm
I’m certainly no expert, but one thing that helps me is to try to ask questions about other people- especially if part of my brain is sending off alarms that I’ve been talking about me (or something that only relates to me) for too long. It’s time to look someone in the eye and ask them about themselves, their work, what they think of the party/meeting, etc. And then I try to sip or snack on something to keep from jumping back in too soon.
December 3rd, 2007 at 1:08 am
Oy. I do that too. I like to ask people about themselves, but I most often find myself rambling when I’m having a hard time getting someone else to talk. Meaning, I’m with another social misfit.
December 4th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
1) Initial talking is only open ended questions. 2) Listening to the answers is key. 3) Keep your mouth shut after your questions. 4) Identify the most popular in the group, (i.e. the one that seems to be getting most deference, questions, looks when talking from everyone else). 5) when appropriate direct your questions/compliments/comments to them.
rinse and lather and repeat!