| My mother says I have Stray Puppy Syndrome. Always have. In elementary school I brought home a kid who sucked mustard packets at lunch and admitted to me that his parents were starving him (yes, my parents got him help). Another friend’s stepfather was molesting her and my parents let her live with us until her mother decided to leave him and find them a safe place to go. In middle school, my best friends were the guy in the wheelchair and the weird, quiet girl that lived in a trailer park on the edge of town. In high school all my friends were gay (and the ones who weren’t are now!) and I railroaded them into forming a straight/gay alliance. When I was in my senior year, I hid a homeless guy in my parents’ basement apartment so he’d have shelter. I tend to trust easily and give whatever I can. It’s been hard to learn to say “No.” Naive perhaps, but I like to believe it’s part of my call as a Christian to love others as I want to be loved (although I must say it usually ends up being more giving and less taking). And, yes, it’s hurt me in the past.
Zuska doesn’t think it’s the wisest idea to take blog posts at face value, no matter how heartwrenching the story. I see her point (and, in writing this blog post, I am not trying to make her feel bad or say that I don’t think she has made some really important points in her post). You can get taken for a ride, you may not know the whole story, etc. But I am a firm believer in trusting your gut. A while back, a call went out on a blog I read for donations to help a mother of three children who was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor fly to the Mayo Clinic for a second opinion. I hadn’t read her blog before, but once I did and saw a) how long it had been going on and b) that she was a SAHM to a disabled daughter, my heartstrings were sufficiently tugged and I made a donation. I don’t regret it. My little donation wasn’t much, but Heather went to the Mayo Clinic and I’ve continued to follow her story as she’s undergone surgery and treatment. If someone else was in a similar situation, I’d donate again. I just don’t think people are inherently bad, at least not those on the blogs I read or forums I join.
For all I know, LagLiv is well off and doesn’t need help. But having been through medical crises myself, I know how expensive that can be and I don’t know many people who have that kind of money laying around. So I choose to give and to believe that, should I ever be in a similar situation (God forbid!), people who know me — both IRL and online — would come to my aid and pay it forward. One thing about LagLiv’s situation that has bothered me a little bit is so many strangers coming out of the wordwork. I guess we all are strangers, but I wonder how I would feel if that happened to me. Both Kim and LagLiv are suddenly getting hundreds, if not thousands, of hits daily due to the recent publicity of their blogs. Although support is great, that extra attention would probably make me a bit more cautious.
I am like you… attracted to the rejects. I think there is a gut instinct that lets you know when to trust and when not to. I would have donated too – but didn’t hear about it until this post.
You’re right, LL. I definitely have some online friends who know more sides of me than those IRL. I am so enriched and helped by reading about other law school moms. And when I read other people’s difficult stories, it gives me a great sense of perspective and reminds me of what is really important in my life.
Obviously I’m not unbiased on this issue right now, but I think when you decide to follow blogs- to comment on them, to care about about them, to wonder how they’re doing- you take a leap of faith that they’re real. It’s true that there may be 1 time out of 20 that they’re lies, but overall I think I gain more than I could possibly lose. I have friends online who understand me better than my friends IRL. I don’t know anyone at my school with a young baby- but I have several blogger friends with babies in law school. I’m enriched by their stories, thoughts, and advice- they’re real to me- and I’m better because they’re a part of my life (even if it is just a virtual part).
I might be hesitant if I actually had a significant amount of money to give, but I don’t. And really, if that whole situation were really an elaborate hoax with multiple blogs and taking the identity of a real law student at Chicago who people actually know through various connections, then damn, that person can keep my money, cause that’s an impressive amount of work!