Learning the Rules
Mercedes Meyer very graciously chose to respond to my off-the-cuff post about her approach to succeeding as a woman in a male-dominated field. I would note that she has spent many years in male-dominated environments (background in chemistry and now working in IP) so she has had more practice at these skills than I have (I would point out here that I’m in my late 20s with work experience in mostly female-dominated fields, so what do I know?). I re-read the Law.com article and have decided to take the challenge she has set forth. Over the next few months, I will read the books listed in the article and discuss them here on my blog (starting with Nice Girls). If anyone would like to join me, perhaps we can have a little law student book club (in our spare time, right?).
Ms. Meyer’s comments:
In the comments to my post
Regarding talking about kids, you have to know your audience. I have watched women wax on about poopy diapers to gay men and single women and have watched the listenes shut down. Kids are wonderful, but you don’t know if the person across from you had an abortion, is currently trying to conceive (male or female) and having problems conceiving, missed their biological clock and now regrets it, or simply is not interested. Treat it like politics and religion. Know your audience.
Regarding acting like a man. While that could come through in the article in some regards, that’s not what I espouse. You have to know the rules to win. You win, then perhaps you can change the rules. Women are better at some things (e.g, relationship maintenance) than men. Don’t stop being good at what you excel at, but know your weaknesses and address them. That’s why we started to book club. We are looking for books to help women succeed and excel as professions. It also helps us understand the rules, and the nuances such as male/female differences in linguistics. The goal is to help women to win under the rules. I never said you had to act like a man to do it. But you do have to develop your own brand to distinguish yourself.
Emailed to me
I’m not saying learn their rules. Just learn the rules. Its like playing the house in vegas. Learn the rules. Its not an even playing field. Women have their own skills which they are better at. There must be an awareness of them and how they fit the bigger picture. Its business. It is the rules of business. Some are male oriented. Some aren’t.
October 30th, 2007 at 10:18 pm
I’m up for comparing notes on “Nice Girls.” I just put it on hold with my library.
Anther book that I recommend is “Pinstripes & Pearls” by Judith Hope. It’s not an advice book, but tells the story of how women in the 60’s fared in law school and upon graduation. It gave me a great respect for those women who paved the way for our generation of women lawywers.
October 31st, 2007 at 12:28 am
I’m also up for “Nice Girls.” Maybe we can have a virtual book group? I’ve been in male hobbies/fields my whole life, and sometimes I get it and sometimes I don’t. I’ve found I do much better around older men than men my own age, who tend to be less paternal and more competitive.
October 31st, 2007 at 5:24 am
I love “Pinstripes and Pearls” — it’s about one of the early classes of women at HLS.
And I’d like to join the book club! As long as the reading schedule isn’t too ambitious.
October 31st, 2007 at 8:50 am
Awesome ladies! Then why don’t we start with “Nice Girls” and go from there. What would you all suggest in terms of a timetable? I could probably find time to read it this month, but I’m not sure how everyone else’s schedules look with finals coming up. I need to purchase it because my library doesn’t carry it.
October 31st, 2007 at 10:34 am
I’d like to join so count me in, I already own Nice Girls.
October 31st, 2007 at 11:08 am
I just requested it from the library and should get it in about a week. I could probably manage to read it by the end of November. It’ll be good for me to read a book that’s not about babies or the law!
October 31st, 2007 at 11:10 am
That sounds like a plan. Let’s all aim to get Nice Girls done and chat about it the week after Thanksgiving.
October 31st, 2007 at 11:39 pm
I’d love to join the book club. While I don’t think of myself as particularly timid, I suspect I’ve picked up some bad habits along the way. Anyone want a cookie? Let me tell you about my kids…
November 8th, 2007 at 8:05 am
[...] Girls Don’t Get The Corner Office” yesterday. As discussed in the comments to the book club post, let’s try to read it by Thanksgiving and share our thoughts that next week. Posted inWomen [...]
November 30th, 2007 at 10:21 pm
[...] off, now that I’ve read the book, I can see why Ms. Meyers liked it so much. Overall, I think that Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office by Dr. Lois [...]