I just found out that my friend’s baby died. She was not even two years old and she stopped breathing (she had some other medical issues but, still, it was completely unexpected). They tried CPR and spent an hour working on her at the hospital but she died anyway. My friend has a son the same age as Pumpkinhead and a newborn and I cannot even imagine how grief-stricken and horrified she must be right now. Those of us who know her are shocked and saddened for her. It just makes me want to run home to Pumpkinhead and cuddle him and never let go although I realize that ultimately there is nothing we can do to prevent these types of senseless things from happening. I’d like to believe that God has a plan or a reason, but I’m not sure how I would feel if it was my own child dying or being taken away. I’d probably feel like LagLiv — ready for a break from the world. I hate that these mothers have to suffer so much and just wish that these sorts of injustices would stop happening to good, kind people (or any people, for that matter!) If you are saying prayers tonight, please pray for my friend, Erin, and her sweet angel daughter, Ramona.

The New York Times has an interesting article today on co-sleeping. Chapin, Pumpkinhead and I are happy co-sleepers. We bought a cradle and used it only for naps. We bought a crib and rarely, if ever used it. Pumpkinhead was pretty much in our bed from day one and we loved it (yep, we’re the Type 1 co-sleepers mentioned in the article). Several times we thought about moving him but realized if we were only doing it because society frowns upon it, that was silly. Truth be told, for the first two years of Pumpkinhead’s life, Chapin was working a 4 – 11 shift, I worked days and that nightime period was our only quality time. When we moved and both worked more normal schedules, we kept co-sleeping out of routine, not necessity.

Chapin grew up in a co-sleeping culture and his siblings still sleep together in their crowded hut in his country. When Pumpkinhead was an infant, we used a sleep nest to keep him safe from us rolling over. It was wonderful to have him there for nursing, but also because he looks like an angel when he sleeps. There is nothing like waking up to the sight of the two males you love the most gently snoring side by side.

That said, when Pumpkinhead turned 3 and got longer, more kicky, etc., I was ready for him to get his own bed. We finally made the transition into the big boy bed at 4. We have a bedroom adjoining our room with doors in between so he can see our bed. We bought him a neat nightlight that shines spiderwebs all over the ceiling. His twin bed is along the other wall and, after reading books, I leave the door open so he can see us until he falls asleep. This has worked well. Once he falls asleep, we can shut the door and have our privacy. Pumpkinead typically sleeps through the night, although he may crawl into bed with me around 5 a.m. and resettle. I get up shortly after he falls back to sleep to study and then wake him up after my shower. Cosleeping can work and the reality is that they won’t be in your bed forever. I think that kids are like animals. They know if something’s bothering you and it makes them resist more so perhaps the mother in the article needs to go with the flow and watch for natural signs that her child is ready to move on. Pumpkinhead heard his friends talking about their “Big Boy Beds” and that helped him make the move.

This article has some great information on safe co-sleeping.