Losing your passion for the law
Working in a law firm before attending law school is both a positive and a negative experience. On the one hand, you get to see what lawyers at different levels actually do every day. Especially as a secretary (versus a paralegal), I get an inside view at the nitty gritty of their daily lives. I know for sure which tasks I won’t enjoy and which ones I will most likely take on with relish.
On the negative side, sometimes the harsh reality can get a little too difficult to deal with. I’ve pulled the all-nighters required with a huge filing in litigation. I’ve seen the corporate associates with three levels of bags under their eyes after a particularly difficult week before a closing. I have to remind myself that I’m not going into the area of law that my current attorneys practice. My first boss in the legal field got divorced right when I was starting with him and he said, “The best advice I can give to new lawyers is to remember your priorities. Family needs to have some one-on-one time that is free of client demands.” With that in mind, I hope to make it through law school and come out on the other side with a clear sense of my goals and an intention to say “no” when necessary while still playing the game. Long hours are inevitable no matter what.
So here’s the depressing thing. One of my associates is leaving this week (announced Tuesday that her last day would be Friday). She’s only been practicing for about four years and she’s my age. When she told me, she said, “I went into BigLaw because I had ‘Big Debt’ and I wanted to pay all of that off. I thought I could work a few years and then move on to something else. But you know what? I’m done. I don’t want to do this anymore. I never imagined I would get burned out before I could ever explore any other options. It’s not the people. It’s not the firm. It’s just the unpredictability. I hate going home Friday night thinking all is calm then getting a 9 p.m. call and having to stay up all night to get something to the client. I just can’t do it anymore.” So she’s leaving and she doesn’t plan to practice law in the future.
Lawmummy wrote a great post this week on those punch-in-the-stomach moments where the law just seems unjust. I hope that I can find a position where those moments are rarer than the moments of pleasure/triumph. Am I completely naïve to believe that I can? 
June 28th, 2007 at 10:03 am
You’re not naive - you have faith. When it comes to doing what you’re meant to do, that’s what it boils down to. Your associate is not meant to be a lawyer, in much the same way that I was not meant to be a computer tech support person.
On the other hand, those of us who feel as if we are exactly where we’re meant to be still have days where we wonder why we decided to become a writer, or have children, or whatever. (See my latest blog entry.) It doesn’t mean we have regrets. It just means that we’re having a bad day or week.
Consistent bad days/weeks/months signal that a change is needed. You know it if something no longer “feels right”… just don’t be afraid of it.
June 29th, 2007 at 8:30 am
I linked to this post on my blog. Thanks for being such a candid blogger.
June 29th, 2007 at 9:42 am
Gosh, I hope I didn’t get you down too much.
I think the biggest problem with the law is the people in it… More good people would make it a better profession. So don’t lose faith, we need all the good folks we can get!
June 29th, 2007 at 11:32 am
Thanks Kelly. Your post was just thought provoking and, on top of that, it’s been one of those weeks. KWIM? Thanks for your encouragement.
July 2nd, 2007 at 1:36 am
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